Thanks: 
You don't know, until you do....Originally Posted by nathalie
And then there's me ... having seen Adam quite a few times already this year, more then we originally planned, and I keep thinking "how do you know if you can live together, even though you've met so many times, we've known each other for 10 years, but visiting one and other for 1 week every other 2 months or so, that's not really living together is it".
But I guess that's everyone's own opinion, and everyone should do what they feel is right for their own
Obvious I know but, there's no point in speculating until there's evidence it cna work. If you're truly happy with them when you do see them, it's worth a shot!
I've been with several guys that, things worked, some things didn't. My first love was the hardest because it was just, infatuation but I couldn't see it.
I was with a guy for 5 years and we never even approached the concept of marriage; the idea of it then even, I disregarded it..there was no way, until changes were made. Then another guy, where we worked great together but, better apart than together. With Jean it was different immediately, and that sense of "let's make this happen" has been pushing all along.
I will say now; it shouldn't take 5 years to make a decision, at the very least. You know when you know. People rarely, if at all, change at a core level.
I thought some more and I am certain my main issue is I worry for Jean so there is my hesitation - I worry to the point I shutdown. I know what I can handle, but I want to protect him. He has to also make his own mind, I need to give him that choice, and we need to communicate as we are. I am sure of what I want and it is him.
I also wouldn't fear for long term. You either know or you do not know if it can work. What is it worth to you, and the other person to take that chance? Is it even possible? Etc, etc.
For Jean and me, we both have acknowledged the potential for failure; and we continue on, mutually. So yes, everyone is different, some people don't really need to live together to be happy, etc. There's no one way to be happy for every person , and even that being said, sometimes it is so hard to achieve as I will soon find out with immigration.
there is something I like,because it helps me realize my past and present:
Sternbergs Love Triangle
That first guy I knew for 5 years, it was definitely Liking which dissolved into Empty Love and finally to nothing.
The second deep relationship, Companionate Love.
Jean and I are Consummate Love. Passion, is something I acknowledged missing in all my relationships prior, before I even saw this graph.
Anyways it's just something that I enjoyed to see lol.
