Quote Originally Posted by nathalie View Post
I didn't know you guys were together already for such a long time? That's what I assume though, if he's willing to move already and discussing marriage (weather or not to get him to stay in the country)

If he already knows the language, and you don't know any French (you don't need Dutch where he's from), then that is probably a better option.
That was a strong deciding factor, the language I mean. I have no issues with starting from the bottom over there, as he's pretty established, but I am too over here and he believes there are more opportunities so, I'm ok with the decision so long as he is happy.


We have not dated very long but have known each other for a bit. Distance hindered dating. I would like to date longer, personally, but also don't have a problem with marriage. We didn't intend to meet but he flew out corporate wise in July this year and both him and a coworker were stranded outside the hotel in the rain on a Sunday; no one was available to assist them, so I picked them up. From that very moment we both felt something but that was the first we met in person. I admit I was attracted to him for quite some time but it never developed for obvious reasons; distance, other engagements in my life, etc.

I've taken a lot of time alone and with family and friends to process these decisions because I don't think they're some light issue, etc. I'd hate for him to be out here and it fails, but I don't worry too much in that right now, we are happy.

For me I have issues with the fact we work for the same company, and his boss knows it is us dating, and it is me that Jean will basically quit the company for. I don't know but personally I avoid the guy now; his boss is at my building etc. I feel like I have blood on my hands.

That aside, I'm 26 and he's a little older and more decided in life. I want to be with him, but at times the totality of circumstances added to my indecision with commitments; I've warned him over everything and am honest every day. You know it's a battle between my heart and mind. A lot of my detached, aloof mind says look Utora don't, this is steep, and where will you be in 10 years?

I'd hate to have him out here after dissolving his life in Belgium, and then we part as he's in the USA with no network, etc. I can't do that to him. But I am talking with him every day, we both know one of us could wake up the next day and it just is too much finally. I don't manage emotional health very well, I usually just disconnect...

I imagine all this sounds terrifying. I just know when I"m with him I feel peace, love and happiness for the first time in my life. He's truly happy, also. It's when you start putting all these details on the table, I get strategic like combat mindset to tackle it and my mind says "No. Don't." So you know, I have to find a balance between my heart and mind, not be rash, and be honest every day. I just don't want to lose what we felt, or hurt him but..life is so unpredictable. I don't know what I fear sometimes but it could be healthy? We'll see.