Bro, seriously, mellow out, you're starting to sound like me.
Or woo the ladies like you, Zack
Which is what it all boils down to. Hear me out on this: Today, while being a contributing member of society, I got to thinking, I said "Pntbll, why do these hackers do this?" and it struck me -- it's because they are lame. They have low reproductive fitness, they're too lame to get a girl, and too poor to rent one, so they cause issues for people with higher reproductive fitness. They attacked Sony -- lots of rich executives and successful engineers, and it also has some of the best employee gyms and fitness programs of any large corporation, so you can be sure they're all cut. Then there was the CIA: women dig secret agents, and I'm gonna bet that there is not a single man in the entire CIA that does not have a lady waiting at home. Heck, they probably have to fight the women off when they go out to bars. They even attacked a few pornographic websites -- nothing else needs to be said regarding that. Submitted for your approval: Hackers are obnoxious because they cannot get a date.
But I digress, as I have beers to drink and explosives to detonate. Happy 4th, everyone!