Bad feelings always come back at silly times for some reason. I hate the fact that someone else has to go through what me and mum did, it's so hard so stop the thoughts coming into your head and replacing them quickly with good ones, they say it gets easier as time goes past, I guess it does a little bit, but you have to work at it, silly as that sounds.
Mum bought dad home here with us the last 4 days, he wanted to come 'home' but that was really hard as well. It so different when you visit them in hospital, and then there's your dad back home with you and you know that every time you look at him or hug him that its going to be taken away so soon and there's nothing you can do about it.

They say even though someone's body is slowly shutting down they can still hear you, thats what we were told. So everyone and us would talk to dad, sometmies we got a response or he would tighten his hold on our fingers but he knew we were there. We stroked up and down his arms and held his hands and rubbed them, mum would sit close and stroke his cheek and whisper things to him and stroke his hair and he would press in close. So I still say they can hear you as they want so much to stay with you. Dad kept saying how much he loved us and he didn't want to leave us alone but he couldn't fight any longer and for us to forgive him for going.. so yeah

Dad's last hour with us, mum and I were holding his hands and just stroking, and his fingers still moved a little in ours and he struggled in breaths but said to us "love you forever" and then he passed away.

keep talking to your dad, keep telling him you love him so thats in his mind forever