The Community Advice Thread

[King Simba]

I believe this thread hasn't been started yet, so I shall do that now.

Here you can ask your fellow Leans any questions you may have and seek any advice you may need. And by keeping them all in one thread, it'll avoid Scar's Lair looking too cluttered with individual questions in the future. So yes, here is the place to put it if you have a question or need any advice.

I'll also put a pawprint on this thread so that people can find it easier.

[shadowland]

Anyone know where I can get a length of rope and some carrots without the cashier looking at me strangely?

lol jk jk

[Safila]

pommie fool

[Wide Eyed Wanderer]

I have a real problem right now...something I need the help of everyone on this board with...

I need to fix the deruillier...deruelliar...der... on my bike; but I can't even spell it!

[shadowland]

whats broken on it?

[nathalie]

*sigh* things are just not getting any better, I just don't know what to do with some things, how to handle them ...

like today, there's a new-born card in the mail for Kenny from "his best girl-friend".
He knew she was pregnant all along, and he just now told me after I texted him there's eather a new-born card or a wedding invitation in the mail from her.

I mean, why can't he tell me stuff.

Also, my name isn't on the envelope.
She knows my name darn well, and she knows I'm with him.

I feel so left out
And I'm kind of mad right now about this STUPID STUPID STUPID thing!

Well, since my name isn't on the envelope, I take it I'm not invited to go and visit the baby.
That's OK, I didn't like her anyways.
She only needs Kenny when she needs something done ... she said she'd be here for his birthday last summer a 100 %.
She couldn't even bother to send him an e-mail or text, she wasn't coming.
Great best friends ... *rolls eyes*

But you know, it's still upsetting

[cleargreenwater]

Oh no. If he's keeping secrets and then turning around and making YOU feel terrible for not wanting children, without even talking to you about WHY it's been bothering him so much....it needs to be brought up that until he learns to communicate with you instead of passive-aggressive snipeing when you don't even know WTF is going on, he alone is responsible for whatever resentment he feels and needs to address that.

Sorry, I can't stand that crap, my father is like that. Everyone gets bi---y/sullen sometimes in life, but reproachful is another matter and isn't fair.

[nathalie]

I think that's the main reason, because he seems to be wanting kids so bad right now :/
That that's the reason he never told me, and rather just not think about it himself.

We went to Disney last weekend, and after we kind of faught about this whole "my name isn't on there thing" (yes, stupid, I know), he said he was having a hard time walking around in Disneyland with all the little kids around him.

I didn't knew it was that bad :/
We talked a lot these past 2 days, which feels good.

It's just that, that girl doesn't know I don't really like her, lol, we've met a few times, she's just "totally out there" and I'm shy and quiet, so it just doesn't match.
But I'm brought up very differently and very polite, so in my honest opinion, it's just rude to send a card like that, or an invite to someone, who has a girl/boyfriend for almost 3 years now, and not to mention their name or "and partner" on the card.

I'm so over-reacting *sigh* but can't seem to help it
It just makes me feel like I'm back in school, were I'd be left-out in everything aswell.
My past is catching up on me lately, maybe that's why I'm making such a big deal out of nothing :/

[nathalie]

Ok, so it gets "worse".
Yesterday he comes home, with a wedding invitation from his "best friend".
Also, again, my name or "and partner" isn't on the envelope.

I really do feel offended by it.
I am that wrong, to feel that way? It makes me really feel left out.
This guy "knows" me, he's seen me a few times, he's been over here everytime that I was here.

It's just commen curtesy, when you know that someone has a partner, you at least write "and partner" on the envelope.

Kenny's name was on my niece her wedding invitation.
Because we are all thaught to be nice in life, I guess, in my family.

It's weird, at Christmas there were no problems at all, every card had my name on it.
It's these 2 so called "best friends" who always leave me out on stuff.

I feel like I'm not even invited, or welcome if I do go ...
I don't see how I don't officially live here or something has got something to do with it.
We are together for almost 3 years now, they know this.

Kenny just brushes it off "don't worry about it, don't think about it".

God, high school flashes are coming back to me more and more, where nobody would want me around, and I was always the 1 person in the entire class not to get an invite to a party.

I have this guy's number, and I'm really tempted to call him, and saying that "WE" are coming, and asking very shy if it is OK for me to come, as I don't know how things go around here, because my name wasn't on the envelope.

But then Kenny would kill me I guess if I'd do that without him knowing.
No point in telling him that I wanna do that, he'd say NO anyways, lol.
Though, it is his "best friend" he should be able to talk to him about this.

It's the 2nd time this "best friend" does this.
Last November he only invited Kenny to his birthday party. While he was here, he was on the phone, talking to another friend of his, invited him and his girlfriend, and not even once looked at me, or told me I could come too.

I'd love to just drop all this crap, but it just keeps running through my mind *sigh*.
Can't I be brainwashed or hypnotized or something?

[Sombolia]

If you've been together for that long, and his friends know you, it does seem weird that they don't include you in invitations and stuff... I mean, one of my friends has only been dating someone for a couple months and we already know to include her in stuff. Strange. :/ If it's bothering you, I would really try to talk to him about it, don't let him keep brushing you off like that.

[nathalie]

I just mentioned it again.

And he just says, that "over here" it's normal when only 1 name is on the envelope, and you are together with someone, you just take that person.
Seems people in Antwerp aren't being brought up with rules on how to be nice to other people.
(people in Antwerp do tend to have this big-air-mentality, much more then other Belgians, lol)

Well, I'm already running images through my head, arriving there, and no seat for me.

Then he got mad, and tells me I shouldn't be jealous of him, because he has friends and I don't.
Well, excuse me, but I'd rather have no friends at all, then the 2 friends he has, who are worthless and only take advantage of him, and don't seem to include me in his life.
(not counting my online friends, I know I can count on those, but I was talking in real life)

I'm going though, I just decided.
I wanna see the look on the bride's face when I show up!
God knows she doesn't like me, and God knows I hate her!!
She has been VERY rude to me in the past, which caused a HUGE fight between me and Kenny, so I actually really don't wanna go to this wedding (and also, I hate weddings in general), but I'll just be going to spite her!

[Azerane]

This is not related to the topic of this thread in any way, but I was just reading through the first couple of posts in this thread and this post made me crack up because I just saw Frozen yesterday That's all I had to say.

Anyone know where I can get a length of rope and some carrots without the cashier looking at me strangely?

lol jk jk

[Kasei]

xD Awesome.

[Sharifu]

I just called my job and told them I can't come back. (I've only had this job for one month) I have been stressing about this all day, and for a while really. I just really, really hate my job. It nothing like my job I had in Oregon, even though I transferred to another Kroger owned store, it is not the same store... It's gross, the bathrooms, lockers, break room, the parking lot, everything is filthy. The store is in a bad area of town. And some of the employees have just been so rude, it's been unbearable. I've dealt with a couple rude managers in the past, in different stores but this has to be the worse place I have ever worked at. I just want to go to college next quarter full time. Or get a job that I can only work 1 or 2 days a week. Maybe at my college. But just not retail for right now. Maybe I will get a job in the summer time so I can help make up what I didn't earn from now until June, (and to save up for the DisneyWorld meeting) but right now I just want to get away from that job. But I moved here to study animation, not work at a job like this... I had such a hard time deciding if I should put in my notice, or just leave now and tell them I can't come back. I normally hate to be like that, I think I am good worker and I put in my notice normally, but that just shows how much I hate it there. It's making me hate living in California. I think it would be best for me to just leave now. Although I still feel a little depressed about all this. I did call and I told them I cannot come back now, at first the guy who answered the phone said, "I don't know, we are three people short right now." Then he transferred me to the lady who was in charge at the time and she told me to call in the morning and talk to the store manager. She left a note for her, and I am not looking forward to calling again tomorrow, but at least I let someone know so far what was going on. But I still don't feel great about this. I feel kind of depressed. I know Petteri will be working soon and that will help, but I know it will be tight. But maybe I can do something else, like work at the college for a few hours after class. At least this gives me more time to work on my animation projects, which I really need. I only have a month left of this class.

I do enjoy my classes so I think as long as I focus on that I will feel happier for the most part...

[Safila]

I think you did the right thing it's a horrible feeling waking up in the morning all stressed because you know you HAVE TO go to that job and you hate it. You're lucky you have Mr P there with you to help. I reakon you should go to your University and speak to whoever it is that knows about any jobs going, and take your resume and call into some places asking about any work.

[cleargreenwater]

Yikes, Sharifu. Well, you get all the credit in the world for doing what seemed like it was the best & most responsible thing, lining a new job up before you moved, etc. Really, it seriously was all the right things. Unfortunately flying blind into an area you just don't know what you're going to be getting once you're there. The home office was probably thrilled to be able to send a proven person, who required no training from such a difficult crew, and knew what she had to do, to an under-performing, dingy and decrepid store without having to teach anything, it was probably like found worker for the home office. It's a shame of a bait & switch after working with the company for all the time you did.

I would say formally resign, because then you can put on record the quality of the location you're at, idk about the 2 weeks notice though. I guess it would depend on how petty and vindictive you think the coworkers would be for those weeks in between. x_x

Uhm....I wouldn't completely write off retail jobs for the time being. Unfortunately they're popular with people in college because they are the most flexible with scheduling and yet still can get some hours out of them. At least now that you're there, though, you're "boots on the ground" and can actually SEE the stores you're applying to, judge if it's a safe location you'd feel comfortable closing up in, you can get a feel for the managers and place and employees, and choose a place that's a better fit.

Look at you though, barely there a few months & already neck-deep in a semester! Go Audra!

[Sharifu]

Well honestly, I did go to California last October with Petteri to visit a friend, and I did go to the store to see what it looked like. I did think that the parking lot was kind of gross, but I can probably deal with that. The registers looked pretty much the same so I thought it would be easy for me since I know how to use the registers and my job I had in Oregon. (I was a cashier for years at my previous job) I thought at least it could be a guaranteed job and my pay rate might be transferred over. I didn't really know the answer to that until a few days I started to work at this new store. My pay went down 22 cents. Not a big deal I guess but I don't know how they came up with that. It costs a whole lot more to live in San Francisco then Medford, Oregon. I am part of the union which I pay a lot of money already just for working there for a month. (I know the union is there to help the workers but it seems like to me they find any reason to charge you a ton of money) They charged me for a full month's fee for January when I only worked in January for the last 5 days of the month.

I think just what bothers me so much is how dirty some of the places are in the store. (Which I didn't see when I went shopping there last October to see what the place looked like) The bathroom is really gross, pretty much all the time. At least in the women's bathroom, the toilet paper holder for some reason is broken and doesn't hold the paper in. The first day I worked there, the bathroom was decent, it was early in the morning so it was before too many people used it for the day. I went to grab some toilet paper and both rolls just fell on the floor. They were not being held in, just sitting there, loose in the holder. I didn't know it was like that when I grabbed the paper for the first time. And both if the stalls are like that. A lot of times I go to use the bathroom, the toilet paper is either sitting on top of the holder, or on the side bar where people can grab onto the bar to pull themselves up, or on the back of the toilet on the handle that flushes the toilet. Come on! How gross! Why does no one fix this? I don't know how clean someone's hand was that last handled this roll... Or just the fact it sits on the back of the toilet grosses me out. Or how do I know the rolls weren't previously on the floor? A lot of times there is just no toilet paper in the stall. Or the toilet seat covers are gone. There has been times someone left a huge layer of toilet seat covers on the toilet... And/or tons and tons of wadded up toilet paper on the floor right in front of the toilet. They looks like they could have been used. I'm getting grossed out just remembering all this. Why is this not cleaned up more often? How come the managers are ok with this? The manager is a woman and has worked there for a long time, she must use this bathroom and know it is like that most of the time...

And the break room, the tables always seem so sticky and dirty, but how do they expect employees to wipe the tables clean if there is no sink in the break room? Maybe I am spoiled, but when I worked at Target and Fred Meyer in the past, there was always a sink in the break room, with soap and paper towels so you can wash your hands and be able to wipe your table clean.

And the employee lockers... They are day use only. Which is fine, I can get used to that. But so many of the empty lockers seem dirty. I usually have been using one that looks the cleanest, but one day when I went to work, someone was using that locker. So I am looking in lockers that have no locks on them so I can use one, and pretty much all of them are full of TRASH. They post signs saying those are one day use lockers and to take everything with you when you leave for the day, yet it's ok for them to be filled with trash all the time? Yuck!

I am not going back... I was originally going to give my notice, I was thinking of leaving right before March 25, since after that my Spring Break was going to start and I was going to go up to Oregon for my Spring Break to visit and spend time with my family.

My this last weekend, on Saturday night when I got off from work, I was so happy I had 4 days off from work in a row. I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she said, "Too bad you can't come up here for that time", and I told her I wish I could but I need to work on my animations for class. I was depressed about my job and missing my life I had in Oregon and missing my mom and her dog, I kept thinking about driving up there after all. I could work on my animations there... And then we talked about it more, and she said she was happy about the idea of me visiting her, although if I did that it's really only full two days in Oregon, since two days are pretty much driving. So I said, maybe I'll just call in sick on Thursday so that makes it more worth it to go up there to have one more day there. (I rarely call in sick when I was not sick, but I was just hating my job so much I didn't care) So on Sunday I drove up here and it took 7 hours including the stops I made to use a bathroom, get gas and get something to eat. The more I was talking about the reasons why I hate my job with my family and friends/co-workers from my previous job, the more and more I just wanted to quit now. So originally I was calling yesterday to put in my two week notice over the phone, but the manager wasn't there. I could of talked to person in charge at the time, but I was afraid it would be Helen and she has been such a b*tch to me, one day she almost put me in tears. The store manager has always been nice to me, but I don't see her very much, but she was the person I wanted to talk to. And she since wasn't there, I was just not wanting to go back anymore. I called later that day after much stressing and anxiety and I made up a story that I had to drive here for a family emergency and I don't know when I'll be back. I had to talk to Helen though. She told me that she had the next three days off so I needed to call in the morning and talk to Tricia, the store manager. But Helen did ask me if I would be able to be back within the next week, and I said no. She told me she would leave a note for Tricia but that I should still call back to talk to her in the morning. So I tried calling Tricia this morning and I was put on hold for over 10 minutes and she still never picked up. So I thought I would call back later... But honestly I don't want to call back later. I don't know if Tricia saw the note or not or what it said. But I find it weird no one has called me today when I had a shift today that started 6 hours ago. Maybe they just know I'm not coming back anymore. I don't know. I feel weird about this. I don't like to be such a flaky person, I like to be reliable, but I just don't want to go back there now. But at the same time I feel somewhat relieved. I am still in Oregon now, I was originally planning to drive back to California today. But now I can stay longer in Oregon, I just have to be back for my animation class on Tuesday. And now that I don't have to work at that job I can have more time to work on my animation projects. I couldn't really work on them yesterday as I was stressing out so much trying to decide what to do about my job. And really, is it worth it? It's not... I don't know if in the end this was a good idea, well I know it was not, but I didn't want to face the music of everyone questioning me why I was leaving when I just started working there. I could of just said well my husband got a good job so I decided to go to school full time next quarter. I really felt like I couldn't tell the truth and tell the manager that I think her store is nasty. (Especially since I think she was the nicest person to me so far) and that the manager that is right underneath her made me so upset before, I was afraid she would tell Helen)

I don't know, I want to pretend like I never worked there. I think whenever I apply for a job again, I don't even want to list that job. I was hardly even there.

At this point I don't know if I should try calling again to see if I can get a hold of Tricia. I just want to make the phone call and be done with it. I hate this.

[Azerane]

I'm really sorry to hear that your job didn't work out Audra, but at the same time, really glad to hear that you realised how stressful it was making your life and that you had the guts to bring an end to it. I can imagine it must be stressful trying to ring again. But honestly, if you ring and can't talk to her. Just write up a letter, date it, and post it to them as a formal resignation. You technically don't have to give them a reason, but you can give one. Otherwise, you can go in to the store to hand it in, because it's possible you may have to sign something anyway as an official termination of employment, I'm not 100% sure how that works

Seriously though, good on you for having the guts to do what was best for you. It can be pretty scary sometimes. I'm sure you'll manage to find something that fits in better with your classes and that isn't so stressful.

[nathalie]

I think you did the right thing Audra. There is no point in waking up every single morning, with the feeling that you hate your job, and you don't wanna start the day. It's not worth the stress and all the pain and head-aches that comes with it!
Maybe if certain things were more OK it would have been, but everything about it just sounds awefull.

Just call your manager, and say you can't do it anymore. You may be "spoiled" from working in a clean and neat store, but isn't that the point of every store to be at least clean? :/

I worked in a grocery store for 2 days. The boss humiliated me in a full store full of customers. The 2nd day the other boss (there were 2), wouldn't let me leave, when my 1st boss *who I had to listen to* told me I could leave at a certain time.
No way I was staying in that hell-hole a minute longer, and I just grabbed my things and left.
The store was on the corner from the house, and I never went there again as long as I lived with my first ex, lol.

It's definatly not mentioned on my ressume eather, what am I going to say when they ask why it was only 2 days? The boss humiliated me in a full store, and yelling at me in a full store? I'd much rather just block that out

[Sharifu]

Well I did end up calling and talking to the store manager last Monday. I told her I should quit because I don't know when I'll be back... And then she said, "I wouldn't be so hasty to quit, I would put in a leave of absence since you have been with the company so long." (She means she I worked at Fred Meyer for so long before starting work at Foods Co.) She gave me a number to call and those people could send me the forms I need to fill out, and that I might need a letter from my mom's doctor. She said that way I have a choice and it will give me some time to think about it. (I could take a leave of absence for up to six months) Which is nice she offered that to me, but... But I never had a family emergency. I wish I could of just ended it there but I didn't know what to say once she told me about the leave of absence thing. So basically, today I wrote her a letter saying I decided put in my resignation because I decided that once my mom "gets better" I am going to go to school full time and not work during that time. I know she is probably going to question why I just didn't put in a leave of absence, but oh well. I kind of created a mess for myself because I lied, which I thought saying I left like that for a family emergency would make it easier on myself and it wouldn't look so bad leaving like I did. Oh well. At least I will be sending that letter tomorrow so I can finally get this over with. I need to concentrate on animations for my class now anyways.