That's the thing, though, that's why I'm so happy and confident now that I can walk away from the therapy--I'm not pretending or hiding anything anymore, pretending and hiding just makes it worse, it makes you feel even more isolated & alone.
I understand the problem, I understand the hows and whys and whats of it now well enough that I can give it a pat-pat & move it aside & get on my way before it can sink it's claws in and loom over whatever path I've chosen to walk. I've learned to manage it to the point where it isn't important anymore. By making it your enemy you're still making it important, you need to view it each time it creeps up on you with techniques for checking it for the size it actually is. Sometimes it's still going to be a bigger opponent--I actually tried out to lead a tour group for the parks I volunteer with, and nearly hyperventilated & fell having to speak a practice presentation in front of a room full of people, obviously I'm limited by the disorder & unable to do activities like that--but in most cases once you learn the checks and the mechanics of what's really going on you find that its something that you can walk past safely.
There's different kinds of Anxiety Disorders, too, it sounds like you get the Panic & Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia.
Mine is classified Generalized Anxiety Disorder, its a chronic stress response to various traumas including Social Anxiety, I don't get panic attacks. Just built-up anxiety & a morbid fascination with my own death, lol.
But nothing makes you say "This is way out of proportion & really pretty dumb to suffer like this" and puts everything into a better perspective quite like a step-parent killing themselves the same year your grandparents and a middle school peer all die. Really forced my hand with the death fixation, too, man.
I still have issues along with the assorted lifetime of baggage/wreckage we all rack up, but every once in a while I'm amazed to realize that I'm really in a seriously okay and in some things even better place. I have knowledge & techiniques for managing this disorder now.
I'm running with that on my own this summer.