The Love Life Thread

[Vidan]

I'm probably the worst at keeping up with people, regardless of how well I know them, but I suppose you could play it casual: "Hey, I remember you. We should hang out sometime." I'm assuming this is someone you know online. If not, I suppose it would be more awkward to suddenly start talking to him if you see him all the time, but you'll never know unless you try.

[Azerane]

I know I don't drop in here much anymore, but since today is pretty special I thought I should let you guys know... Pat and I celebrate our 10 year anniversary today

It's been a long road, and we're still on it, but it's worth it and we're almost there.

[Leorgathar]

D'awww really? 10 years today!? That's amazing, and so admirable! I'm really happy for you and Pat, my congratulations to you two. Here's wishing you the best in your future

[Guntur]

Happy 10th Year anniversary Azzy.

[Kirauni]

Wow, awesome! Yes, happy anniversairy to both of you
All the best for the future.

Oh.. and one question, if I might: You said "we're almost there". Where would that be?

[Azerane]

Thanks so much guys, it's pretty special. In the past I often celebrated the day that we first met, but the 23rd Feb is the day that we actually got together.

Oh.. and one question, if I might: You said "we're almost there". Where would that be?

I meant that we're almost at the point of not being long-distance anymore.

[Sharifu]

Congrats Bec and Pat! I have been curious when you two will finally be living together. 10 years is such a long time to be in a long distance relationship. I can't wait to hear the two of you getting past that, because the distance is really hard. I was having a really hard time at 5 years, right before Petteri moved to the U.S.

This year is also the 10th year for me and Petteri being together. We already had feelings for each other before, but we decided to wait until we met in person first before making it official. So, our 10th anniversary is in May. It would be nice if we can go somewhere for a weekend to celebrate. Hopefully we can afford to do something nice.

I got kind of a funny story to share, since this is the Love Life thread. The other day, at work, one of my customers was telling me how he had to go out to dinner with his ex. He was also telling me he didn't know why he was doing this to himself, I guess he really didn't want to go out to eat with her. Then he said, "Well I guess everyone has to deal with this. Everyone has an ex right? I have never heard of anyone only being in one relationship." Then I just grinned and told him, "Well I have only been in one relationship, my husband and I have been together for almost 10 years." He was surprised and even wanted to shake my hand because of that. True, I know how rare that is, most people are shocked when I tell them that I have only been in one relationship, for as long as we have, and that we are married. Even my family was telling me, back when my relationship with Petteri was fairly new, that first loves usually don't last. I don't know, I guess they were warning me? Well here we are, still together. And still in love.

[KanuTGL]

I'm a little late, but - Congrats on the 10 year anniversary, Azzy (and Pat!) ^^ You two really are amazing; I hope what's left of the time before you can be together for good passes really quickly now! And 10 years for you and Petteri too, Audra? That's fantastic I always brag about you guys when people say they don't think long-distance relationships can last...

As for my previous post here, there is in fact an update The fellow in question doesn't live in this area. Long story short - he goes to a different University, which we visited in November as part of an exchange between the committees across Sweden who work with University career fairs (the University in question is in fact the one I used to go to, haha). It's closer to where my parents live, so it's some way away from here, which makes it harder to sort of "randomly" meet. I've had him as a contact on Facebook since that time though and I've really debated whether to just leave it, but yesterday I sort of saw my chance and went ahead and sent him a message along the lines of Vidan's "Hey, I remember you!" xP And he wrote back! Soo now I've at least initiated something, haha. I'd really love to have him as a friend, so I am hoping this could lead to that if nothing else

[Leorgathar]

That seems like a good start. I do hope you can get along much better with him, and who knows, maybe your friendship can grow into something more. Here's wishing you all the good luck with that

As for me... well, I'm in a bit of a similar situation. There's this girl that I used to like back in highschool, I never really got to talk much with her (I wasn't good at talking to girls then ><). I hadn't seen her since more than 10 years ago, but a couple of weeks ago I was taking a flight back home from the city my sister lives in, and she just happened to recognize me at the airport. We just said hi and that was all at first, but by some strange coincidence her seat number was right next to mine on the plane So we had a laugh at that, and we talked about what has been of our lives these past 10 years during the whole flight. I learned that she is quite into wildlife too, so we also talked about animals and such (I got to express my liking for big cats, which she found quite interesting xD).

A few days later we added each other as contacts, and we've had some chats since then. I still don't really know that much about her, though, but the way things are going it might be the start of a new friendship, and like in Kanu's case, I hope that at least it gets to evolve to that. But I also just recently found out that she's single, so I guess anything could happen if we end up getting along so well.

[KanuTGL]

I'm trying not to get too hopeful, but this is still way better than the situation was before (something vs nothing xD), so that's good at least...!

That sounds promising about your situation, Leor! Wishing you luck too!

[Guntur]

We all are in same situation.

For me, about the twins is my high school crush blocked me on Facebook while her twins that I managed to chat with during the boot camp continue to be friends with me.

I think we both are grown up and respect each other life rather easily, I usually a guy who poke first but I respect her by not poking her and continue the respect of our friendship relationship.

Oh, Did I told you that, I told her everything how I felt for her in my life and she understands it, she said that it's to late to start a relationship as she is married, and she would continue telling me that we still be friends no matter what. She kinda notice that I'm living my gaming life and she live with her life with her daughter. Guess two person living a different world is rather peaceful than catch each others throat.

[Lweek]

That's really inspiring hearing about such truly amazing romances. It all seems to be almost unbelievable, unreal. :-)

My love life is still the same. When my ex has broken up with me I've decided to "fix" all possible problems in my life. The hardest was my health issues (teeth). It last thing I'm solving right now. Painful, expensive but every time I'm returning from dentist I feel I'm closer to my final goal. After that I'll be completely ready for new start. Sounds like a good thing, and it probably is. But it frightening me either. It's almost five years I live single life and sometimes I feel uncomfortable when I think about new relation ship. That because I'm complicated person and I would like to feel that somebody loves me with everything I am. But when I'm observing relationships around me it looks like the most important part of the love game is keeping low in expectations. Like there are things you never can tell your partner or so. Every relation ship seems to be complicated. If you love a lot and your ambitious aren't too high then you might find a way thru it. That scares me the most that I'm afraid to be completely honest and yet If I will be completely honest then how big chance I got that she will likes it? Being tolerated is not very happy option. Not for somebody who needs to have free soul. Free soul mean being wildest myself, share it and enjoy it.

[Azerane]

Super delayed thanks to everyone, I know I've been somewhat absent of late, but I do really appreciate it.

Congrats Audra for your 10 years with Petteri as well, and I think it's fantastic that both Kanu and Leor have found a something that could possibly be something more

Not much has been happening here. Pat had to get his passport renewed. It only took about 7 months. What a ridiculous waste of time that was. However, he's just got it back the other day, so we can finally progress.

[nathalie]

7 months? in Belgium it takes 3-7 workdays.

[Azerane]

Well it was only supposed to take three weeks... so make of that what you will. At first they didn't have a reason why it was taking so long and eventually just sent it back not done (2-3 months later) saying his photo wasn't acceptable. Then he sent it in again and they said it took forever because of a backlog over Christmas etc. But now that's it's April, really not sure what the issue was. In any case, it was very frustrating.

[Sadiki]

Wow... 7 months... That is unacceptable. in Finland it takes a week. no more, no less you can get 1 year temporary passport in 24 hours. That makes me not look forward to dealing with passport renewals here once I come a citizen, which I should probably start the process soon for as it's another thing that seems to take half a year.

Anyways I'm so happy for you Bec'ey and Pat! Finally being able to shrink that distance after soooo many years set a remarkable feat on your relationship, it's something you guys been working for so long. I really don't know how you did it. for me first 5.5 years of our relationship felt life time longer than last 4.5 that we been married.

[Sharifu]

I think 7 months is a really unusual time frame to renew a U.S. passport... It's too bad Pat's passport photo was considered unacceptable causing him months of delay, I don't know if he took the photo himself, but I would rather just pay to get passport photos taken, just to make sure they are acceptable. You can get passport photos taken at Costco for only $4.99.

But anyways, I am glad to hear that is finally done. What's next? Pat applying for a type of visa?

[Utora]

That's really inspiring hearing about such truly amazing romances. It all seems to be almost unbelievable, unreal. :-)

My love life is still the same. When my ex has broken up with me I've decided to "fix" all possible problems in my life. The hardest was my health issues (teeth). It last thing I'm solving right now. Painful, expensive but every time I'm returning from dentist I feel I'm closer to my final goal. After that I'll be completely ready for new start. Sounds like a good thing, and it probably is. But it frightening me either. It's almost five years I live single life and sometimes I feel uncomfortable when I think about new relation ship. That because I'm complicated person and I would like to feel that somebody loves me with everything I am. But when I'm observing relationships around me it looks like the most important part of the love game is keeping low in expectations. Like there are things you never can tell your partner or so. Every relation ship seems to be complicated. If you love a lot and your ambitious aren't too high then you might find a way thru it. That scares me the most that I'm afraid to be completely honest and yet If I will be completely honest then how big chance I got that she will likes it? Being tolerated is not very happy option. Not for somebody who needs to have free soul. Free soul mean being wildest myself, share it and enjoy it.

I have the exact same realization. To find someone who wants to be free with you, and not have it where you hinder them or they hinder you - is huge.

Also by hinder, maybe this sounds so abraisive but believe, it just seems to happen. In my situation I was with someone - well, to start off, I'm not a normal female. Not that I knownormal even is, but I come across as stubborn, maybe unyielding and too direct. With me there is no hidden agenda, I say it as it is. I could use sopme training in tact but I'm sensitive enough that it balances out I suppose. The biggest issue is I'm not known to invest in something I'm not interested in, or am bludgened into emotionally or verbally. So with all of that, I was with someone who was ideal because he knew himself, was not intimidated by me (could see I am caring, etc despite the lioness exterior ) and was not bothered if I kinda told him things as they were. Well, the issue is, it seems to be these people are also like me in that they're very certain of what they want. I however am will to compromise, and my biggest desire is to be in it together, i.e., decisions (most), future goals, our lives, etc. This guy, was not. But when I couldn't stand it anymore and wanted my space, I was told I was lazy and ran when it got hard. There's a difference in running when it's hard vs seeing the dead end and mopving onto a better path.


I don't know what the answer is to self lead, confident and independent people. What, do we need someone so codependent they bend at every request? I can't have that. Is it so much to expect we will be in an actual REALTIONship and share life together? I guess so. I guess it's like that. Yes, lower the bar for expectations. Take it as it comes. I may just end up being alone ...


Only problem is this is death for an extrovert.

[Guntur]

Right now I'm just keeping the love life all by my self alone right now, because I do think that if I start a relationship now with my current mental state? It would be hindered by her or by myself, Don't think women will appreciate who I am at the moment, because my mind is like a maze that only a top number one rated physician would solve my mind's maze.

In my current lifestyle and mental health, I'm getting anti social physically days by days by days to second. I'm getting seclusive even deeper than ever, I don't think someone who is my partner would appreciate that if she finds out that her boyfriend is in, in his own world day by day. Remember the day that I told you guys that I'm literally obsessed with this woman that I know? it has fade away by now thanks to my lifestyle, From the last post I made about her in this page? I never have any feeling that cling to as she kept my "love life" alive for 11 years as time goes by. as I became free from that feeling, I do feel a little lonely here and now. I just need to find someone who really understand what's going on with my head, I think if she ever try it, it would be a nightmare of maze in my mind. That's why I need someone who are strong will in life, a firm women that could decipher my words and my thinking.

I do have a lot of online friends in steam, because pretty much they understand how I play my own games in my mind. I don't really care about commitment, I already did that and like it, all it left now is someone who can unlock my mind and get out from it unharmed. I just need someone who have desire to change both of us to the better for the relationship.

Hmmm, maybe I talks to much here, I'm 27 and still single and living with my mom and live in my own fantasy to escape the pain that I've been through.

[Leorgathar]

Okay, I'll be honest here now. You know that girl I mentioned in my previous post? well, turns out I don't think it will ever happen
There are reasons I prefer to keep to myself, but in short, she isn't the kind of person I thought she was. I got to know her better, and she's a nice person in many aspects, but there were also some other big turn-offs. She's just not for me, I'm afraid. At least she didn't seem that interested in me anyway, so it's all ok.

So that's where I am now, just the way I started. I have no one in mind (at least not here). Maybe I should keep some lower expectations, just like Lweek put it, but I also think I'm not surrounding myself with the right people. I mean, I'm usually a confident person in myself, but there's many people here that do give me a reason to have trust issues. I have some good friends, but I know no-one here I can totally be an open book with, they're not the kind of people I can share my real feelings to and expect a kind, understanding response, not even in my own family. I really don't like pretending to be someone that I'm not, and I certainly don't want that in a relationship.
There's only so few people I've had the pleasure to share that openness with, and all of them live so ridiculously far away (among them, you guys know who you are).

Nonetheless, life goes on, and like Lweek, I too will work on sorting out some issues in my life first before getting back into looking for that special someone. Also... I recently stumbled across with a big new life opportunity, which I'm seriously considering on taking. Basically, it's a scholarship to do a Masters degree or a PhD in Europe, I still don't know if I'm elligible for it this year, but if I get it, it can be quite a game changer. I'm very curious to see where in life would that take me.