Thanks: 
Let's talk about yo momma! XD
YO MOMMA SO UGLY...
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!
Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road!
Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco bell and they all ran for the border!
Yo momma so ugly people go ask her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
YO MOMMA SO FAT...
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "
Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!
Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"
Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat we're in her right now.
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
Yo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.
Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!"
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn."
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please."
Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the *****'s good side!
Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips!
Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo.
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu.
Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whoelband skips!
Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo momma so fat when the ***** goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo momma so fat she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn-X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide.
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!
Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.
Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 757 caught in her teeth.
Yo momma so fat to her, "light food," means under 4 Tons!
Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!
Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!
Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development.
Yo momma so fat she won, "Miss Bessie the Cow 94."
Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans.
YO MOMMA SO STUPID...
Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!
Yo momma so stupid, she thought, "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.
Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo momma so stupid, she couldn't read an audio book.
Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hourr virus.
Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.
Yo momma so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.
!!!
:Psst:
I've heard variations of that one...
