Community Advice Thread

[Juniper]

Originally posted by Utora
I hate the sin, not the sinner.

I am sorry that it came to this, and you know how I feel.
As I said, there are other options but one chooses death?
The paradox is; I cannot say I didn't wish for this, for my speech contradicts it, but I did not wish for it this way, directly.
In the end -


I just cannot believe you did it under my name, for my instinct tells me this is your cause of illness. Me.

I do not feel guilty however. I didn't force it against your will. I am just shocked.

Utora, under no circumstances are you ever to contact me again. You did wish for this, Utora, you cannot deny that. Don't you worry though, you aren't the cause of all this, you're merely one of a few catylists. But as I said before, you will never contact me again, and that's all I have to say to you.

[nathalie]

I hope nothing serious happened, and I really hope you'll be better soon, and that you'll feel much better !

[Simbaspirit]

um, ok. i hope you'll be back on your feet soon, pnt.

[Utora]

I am not in a good position. It has alot to do with death threats, explosives, stalkers, private property, guns, stealing a vehicle and my name. First let me state I didn't kill anybody or harm little ones in any way here - at least, I think not. BUT - I did take the vehicle.

At the same time I go to Russia in about 7 hours. The police are thinking, "Culprit found - culprit fleeing country." along those lines etc etc.

Also they've disocvered some stuff of mine - nothing too promising for the politcal junkees out there and now they want to take me in. Mental lab I donno' but what I'm saying is if I dissappear between now and the end of March for no explained reason, just know it's because I don't want to be in jail that I'm gone. I'll probably make it to Russia without them inquiring me, but once I'm over there I don't think it will be any better from what I'm being told.

Am I scared? More than I've ever been in my life.

[Ravincal]

In 7-8 days I'm going through an operation, my ribs are actually going to be breaked out. (Not out of the skin of course). Well, the actual reason is, when I was a kid, I was really FAT! Then suddenly I began growing at a EXTREME rate, so my ribs couldn't follow me, so now it looks a little like my ribs have been pushed back into my chest (You can't really see it THAT much yet, but in time you will).

So... Yeah I'm pretty much VERY scared.. Well though I'll be on morphine the first week (I have to stay at the hospital for a week), then I'm going home and HOPEFULLY I will live with the TERRIBLE pains in my chest.

I am DEAD nervous! ;(

[Utora]

I'm praying for you Rav. I'm terrified of surgery myself. You just have to remember, they know what they are doing, and they'll make sure everything is alright. I'll try to see if I can call you on your operation. Hang in there.

[Xinithian]

Originally posted by Ravincal
So... Yeah I'm pretty much VERY scared.. Well though I'll be on morphine the first week (I have to stay at the hospital for a week), then I'm going home and HOPEFULLY I will live with the TERRIBLE pains in my chest.

I am DEAD nervous! ;(

Did the doctor mentioning anything about pain in breathing after the surgery? I've had my vocal chords worked on, and it hurt a lot whenever I would swallow... but I can't imagine how it would be like if it hurt whenever I would breathe. Hang in there, though, in the end it will be worth it. Also, they're not working on any organs (or at least from what you said), so there should be no difficulties during the surgery.

Totally random, but a good reccomendation for you is to not listen to any of your favorite music in the hospital. It may seem strange, but from what I've experienced, when you listen to a song when you are distressed or in a bad situation, all you can think about is that time when you were distressed when you hear the song again afterwards.

[Dijesolo]

I'll be away that week as well, I'm going to stay there. It's located 3-4 hours from where I live and no internet or anything.

You can do it Rav, just believe in yourself, when it's done you will be VERY happy! Promise.

[Azerane]

Originally posted by Ravincal
In 7-8 days I'm going through an operation, my ribs are actually going to be breaked out. (Not out of the skin of course). Well, the actual reason is, when I was a kid, I was really FAT! Then suddenly I began growing at a EXTREME rate, so my ribs couldn't follow me, so now it looks a little like my ribs have been pushed back into my chest (You can't really see it THAT much yet, but in time you will).

So... Yeah I'm pretty much VERY scared.. Well though I'll be on morphine the first week (I have to stay at the hospital for a week), then I'm going home and HOPEFULLY I will live with the TERRIBLE pains in my chest.

I am DEAD nervous! ;(

Hope it all goes well for you Ravincal, and you'll have your brother there to support you Take care and make a swift and full recovery. Best of luck

[lion_roog]

Goodluck, Ravical. Stay strong, dude.

[unregistered user]

*sigh* I really don't like to use these advice threads too much, but I need some comforting or something right about now..

I'm going home for Spring Break Friday (I'll have internet there, so I'll be able to keep in touch still ;P ). Now for most people would be like; What's wrong with that? Well, here's what..

I have a growing and sinking suspicion that my siblings hate me, my older ones mind you, my younger siblings love me to death heh. My two older sisters though.. everything they do seems to be a sort of attack against me. They constantly try to turn my parents against me. Saying how spoiled I was when I was a kid and all. And I've admited to them and nmow here as well, among other places, that I was spoiled. However it has stopped, has stopped for quite a long while now, but my sisters fail to see this somehow.

They hate me because they're jealous of my parents love for me? I'm not sure, but one of my sisters is extremely manipulative and has screwed me over so many times it's really depressing to think about. My oldest sister is different, she thinks she can flat out tell me whatever to do whenever she wants to. But that's not what is the worst at all, the worst part is that they want me to be something I am not, and refuse to be, sad thing is that my parents are with them on it.

They want me to be interested in mechanics, carpentry, sports. They expect me to get high and drunk, smoke, do illegal activities.

This is not me.

I hate almost all sports, I find them pointless and boring, save for a select few. I know nothing, nor care to learn anything about carpentry or mechanics. I did use to smoke and drink.. a LONG time back, but haven't since. Besides smoking and drinking under age now and then back in middle school, I've never done anything illegal.. I'm a law abiding person, breaking laws doesn't make sense to me, and the fact that they want/expect me to disturbs me. I don't know.. basic classic personification of an American guy, is what they want me to be, but I refuse to fit into their standards for me.

I really hate going home, and college has indeed become my haven from all of the stupid problems I have at home. There's more to it tha tthis, and I know this 'problem' isn't as big as others in this thread, but it's still something that concerns my heart and soul almost entirely, I actually dread to go home.

[lion_roog]

That sucks dude. If I was you I wouldn't let it bother me, I'd just let them (your sisters) do what they want. And if anyone wants an explanation about who you are and all...I'd just tell them "I'm my own man, I make my own decisions, you just have to accept me for me."

[unregistered user]

Thanks Roog, sadly they just refuse to do so =/ ah well

[Amaryllis]

Well the only advice what i can give you, is to organize this sort of meeting with both your parents and your siblings. And really talk and try to work it out. And you tell them how you feel about it, and let them do they word aswell. Everyone needs to know exactly how you feel and whats going on. That is how i would do it, and i think it really c?uld work. Im sorry to hear this, and i hope it'll turn better for you soon. =3

[Only-now]

I guess I would let them know how you feel, but may I ask...do you HAVE to go home for Spring Break? If you dread going there, then don't go. In fact, you NEVER have to go back if you don't want to...maybe some time away from you..as in a few years, will give them some time to get used to "you" as an "adult". I guess that sounds a bit harsh, but being in college, and being an adult brings all those things with it. You ARE your own person. regardless of what even your family says...because sometimes they aren't right. Thus, you don't have to stay close to them, visit them, abide by what THEY think is right for you, etc. You are on the right track with your life, and maybe they can't handle it...so if they cannot, yet they still try to change you, then FORCE them away from you so you do not have to deal with it. Just a thought, that's all.

~Kiva

[Utora]

Originally posted by This Land
Well its simple really,

Do I Quit Collage

over the last month i have been finding collage really hard, its really getting to me and i dont think i can take anymore.

First off its the corse itself, its blooming hard, and the fact that i think its hardly got to do with engineering at all in my opinion. I get handed piontless assignemnts every hour and its really annoying. The amount of student support i get is complete ****.

Next is the students, I Have about 3 decent friends there who dont mind me for my interests (TLK), but then there is about 20 other Tw*** who always treat me like complete ****. And the problem is, they are always with me every lesson, and its pretty hard to ignore them.


I just need advice in should i really quit it, because at the end of the 2 years i do get a "National Diploma in engineering with applied robotics".

So im just really stuck in what to do

You'r going to hit work, life, everything like a roller coaster. You'll have highs, and you'll have lows. Sounds like you're in a low right now. Why are you at college? Is it for the people? If not, then you've answered the first part well. Yes the students make inflict a character to your atomosphere, which in fact may influence your studies. However you have to be willing to block them out and look onto what is more impotant ; your education. Learning is not a destination but a journey. You have to keep going every day - it never ends. Which isn't bad mind you. Learning is life and in the mordern world, learning is imprisonment and to be away from it is freedom because of atomospheres as you describe.

Engineering. My dad had a fit with that when he was much younger. It's going to seem useless now, idle and invalid. But it's like this ; learn it like you use it and use it like you learned it. Some time down the road you may become interested in a career that requires the knowledge you're obtaining now. You won't have that liberty to say, Hey I can do this! because you've got to go back and learn. Keep going, keep learning and pess on is my advice. Ignore the peer pressure, learn and grow always and don't give up. If you ever need any help, don't be afraid to ask.

Once it's over - you'll feel like a hero.

[Juniper]

I've thought about it, and I've noticed that I am completely different from who I was. Even up until two months ago, I had self-confidence, understanding of individual's situtions, tried not to judge people, and all that. Now, though, all that is just... gone? I don't know, but it's not there. A while ago, I could debate almost any argument (both online and off); now, if someone even respectfully disagrees on the smallest issue, I feel personally hurt and sad. My self-confidence has turned into self-hate. I used to think logically, but now I jump to conclusions without thinking it through.

I've been thinking a lot lately, maybe too much for my own good. I think about meaning in life and all that, but thing I think about most is death. It is part of almost every thought, and as more than a few on MSN can vouch, it's part of quite a few conversations. To be more specific, I think about my death; I'm not suicidal anymore, not those kinds of thoughts, but more of a matter-of-fact sort of thing. I wonder when it'll happen, how it'll happen, if I'll get a chance to do A, B, C, etc... that I've always wanted to do. I'm afraid, as well. I also think about my insignificance; the more I think about it, the more I realize it. I've decided that I, as a single person, am completely worthless; my hopes, hates, sadness, happiness, accomplishments, and failures just don't matter. That's what hurts me the most, that I am (or think I am) completely insignificant, or expendable. I try to counter those thoughts by telling myself they aren't true, that ever person is significant and all that, because a part of me still thinks that, but it's usually no use. Sometimes I have panic attacks as well, and every so often, I feel a bit like normal, and I'm able to make a comment here or there that's... me, but those times are few and far between.

What adds salt to the wound is that I'm being treated by a professional psychologist and it's really not doing much good. Not to be a drama *****, but this is ruining my life, and what else is there to do? A psychologist is usually considered a last resort, outside of a mental institution; when that last resort is exhausted, what do you do then?


Really, I don't see the point of this post; there's really nothing to be done about the issue and I try to keep my problems off this forum, but for some reason I was compelled to say how I feel, and I did.

[lion_roog]

Sorry to hear that, Pnt. I guess maybe you feel that way when someone debates or disagrees with you is because you take your opinions and views to heart. So when someone disagrees and such, it is taken more personally. And, in my experience, thinking too much or letting yourself dwell on your thoughts for too long is never a good thing. that's why I always try to keep my mind occupied with things, whether it be studying, conversation, playing ball, etc because my mind is always on...and if I let it wonder it'll come across things that I don't really care to think about too much.

[Juniper]

Originally posted by lion_roog
Sorry to hear that, Pnt. I guess maybe you feel that way when someone debates or disagrees with you is because you take your opinions and views to heart. So when someone disagrees and such, it is taken more personally. And, in my experience, thinking too much or letting yourself dwell on your thoughts for too long is never a good thing. that's why I always try to keep my mind occupied with things, whether it be studying, conversation, playing ball, etc because my mind is always on...and if I let it wonder it'll come across things that I don't really care to think about too much.

Through what I've gathered so far (Remember, even I don't know myself completely), the fact that I'm so sensitive lately, and my personality change as a whole, has come from the sheer stress of some serious mental things that I need to get sorted out as soon as possible. It's like everything's interwoven, and it all leads back to my insignificance, mortality, and hate for myself; it's taking its toll on me, and that's why I just can't stand the stress of debates right now (and tend to stay out of them). The problem is, these are all very deep questions and issues, and frankly, things I shouldn't be concerned with at this point in my life. But that doesn't change the fact that I am and that it feels like there's so little to be done to help. I just feel helpless, ya know? I've tried covering it up, that doesn't work either. Even when I go to get help or talk or whatever, I feel like crap because I think I'm just "Whining", so when I make an attempt to improve, I tear myself down as well.

[This Land]

Originally posted by Utora
You'r going to hit work, life, everything like a roller coaster. You'll have highs, and you'll have lows. Sounds like you're in a low right now. Why are you at college? Is it for the people? If not, then you've answered the first part well. Yes the students make inflict a character to your atomosphere, which in fact may influence your studies. However you have to be willing to block them out and look onto what is more impotant ; your education. Learning is not a destination but a journey. You have to keep going every day - it never ends. Which isn't bad mind you. Learning is life and in the mordern world, learning is imprisonment and to be away from it is freedom because of atomospheres as you describe.

Engineering. My dad had a fit with that when he was much younger. It's going to seem useless now, idle and invalid. But it's like this ; learn it like you use it and use it like you learned it. Some time down the road you may become interested in a career that requires the knowledge you're obtaining now. You won't have that liberty to say, Hey I can do this! because you've got to go back and learn. Keep going, keep learning and pess on is my advice. Ignore the peer pressure, learn and grow always and don't give up. If you ever need any help, don't be afraid to ask.

Once it's over - you'll feel like a hero.

Aww, thanks so much Utora
That truly means so much to me

What is bugging me about collage, isnt just the people and students, its the actual course i am doing. You see im a very practical learner, i learn through "hands on" activities. And the course i am taking is too much paperwork. So ive decided to quit collage but still carry on my education and get a decent qualification through a apprenticeship, which is alot more pratical

Pnt - Im sorry to hear this dude, you just have to be yourself, and think think what is right for you, i wish i could say more but unfortunaly im not that good on mental health etc, i dont really know what is feels like.

But i just hope for the very best for ya man and that things improve