*waves*

Hi, I'm Nathalie, and I'm an emotional-over-eater.
I'm not ashamed to say my weight, if you look at me, you can kind of get the idea, lol.
My ideal weight would be around 60kg (132 lbs), and my weight now is about 84kb (185 lbs).
I'm a shorty, I'm only 1m64 (5 foot 3).

I feel like, the older I get, the lazier.
I'm not sure if it is connected with all the problems I have.
Because lying depressed on the sofa for an entire day, isn't really being lazy

I've been struggling with my weight for all my life.
I was never skinny, always just a bit chubbier, lol.

I hit my highest point in 2006/2007, when I was also what I am now, about 84kg, but back then, my face was blown up.
Where now, the fat is just more spreaded, haha.

I lost 15kg (33 lbs) when my first ex managed to hurt me quite bad, within 3 months or so.
I loved it, so I tried to keep at it, when I was doing better, and managed quite fine.

Met my 2nd ex, started gaining again, because our time together, even though we had great times, we also had sad times, and whenever I feel sad/depressed/alone, I start eating.
During 2008 I managed to get a job there, but had to quit do to depression reasons after 3 months. The job wasn't that great, but somehow I liked doing it, had to stand all day/walk around all day, walk to the factory and such, it helped a lot for my figure.
But after I quit, things just got worse and worse, and I gained a lot again.
But then the reletionship ended, and another 10kg or so (22 lbs) got lost in 2009.

Also, I had more then half of my teeth removed in 2008, I actually thought that would help, as I couldn't eat regular food for at least the first 4 weeks.
Somehow I actually managed to gain about 2kg in those 4 weeks o_O

At one point, I weighed about 65kg (143 lbs), which was great! I felt better about my weight, and was determent to drop just those few more kilo's to get back at 60kg.
My face looked so much better, nu double chin, skinny instead of blown up.

But then at the end of 2009 I finally got a job.
I loved this job with all my heart, but it was a very stressful one.
Sometimes I would take with me, a jar of cheerio's, just to snack during the day.
But if the jar would be empty after 2 hours already, it meant the day was terribly stressful.
Other days, I would still have some left in the jar at the end of the day, which meant it was a good day, lol.

Also, having a job that requieres you to sit an antire day on a chair, doesn't help, and due to me having to take public transportation, coming home at 7.30 pm every evening, and then still needing to have dinner, really didn't help!

Anything you eat after 7pm just stays on you like a parasite, because usually after that hour, you don't do anything anymore (unless you actually go to a gym, hehe), besides take a few steps inside the house and watch TV.

In the past 2 years, I've gone up 2 jeans sizes

I try to drink only water, but after 3 days I'm so sick of it, and my body just NEEDS sugar.
With everything going on in my life right now, depression, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, it has made my life so much more worse then it already was, not having a job, being bored out of my brains ...
When I'm bored, I go look in the fridge, freezer, cabnets, and I'll just stuff my face with anything I can find.
Because when I'm cooking, I'm busy for at least half an hour, and then half an hour eating it, so *yay* I managed to not be bored for at least an hour.

Kenny got me a Wii Fit last year for my birthday.
I was so exhited! He said he was doubting between one of those excersize bikes, and the game.
Looking back on it, the bike might have been a better idea, conserning my weight loss, lol.
I do like the Wii Fit, how it keeps track of your weight and such so easy.

I actually love doing aerobics / step excersizes, but the Wii Fit only has 1 excersize, and only lasts for 5 minutes.
I usually do it like 5 times in a row.

I started looking up gyms nearby that would give aerobics classes, but most were eather very early in the morning, or late in the evening.
Then I finally find 1 gym nearby that had classes at decent hours, and when I finally wanted to go in and see what it was all about, about membership and stuff, the gym changes name and is now part of another franchise, and they don't offer aerobics anymore.
*just my luck*

I then got the idea to just buy a DVD, or look something up on youtube.
A while ago, I did download an aeorbics video from youtube (it has Mark Brunetz in it, haha, from Clean House, as 1 of the trainers).
I was determent to do this!!!
I was going to put it on a USB stick, so I could put it in the DVD player, and watch it on TV.
Didn't work
I converted the damn thing about 4 times, the DVD player kept saying it couldn't read the screen resolution or the file format.
I didn't want to waiste an empty DVD on it, but ended up doing so anyways, so converted it into DVD files, played it on the DVD player, and there's no sound *aaaargggghhhhhh*!
It's very hard to do an aerobics excersize, when there is no music, haha!

OK, so I'll just bring my media center next time I go home.
I did bring it back with me to Kenny's, all I need to do now is put the file on an SD card, and hook up the media center to the TV.

It's been at least 2,5 weeks now, and for some reason, I'm too lazy, and can't get myself to do it anymore.
I was so sure I was going to do that excersize every morning, I had even watched it a few times, so I could already memorize the steps a little, to make it easy on me.

I really need to bring myself up to it again, to actually start doing this.

I want to drop those 2 jeans sizes again, I wanna be able to wear nice things, because I tend to wear baggy stuff again, so you don't see all the curves.

The upper-2-things (lol, you know what I mean ) need to get smaller, but I've heard when people loose weight, those things mostly don't get smaller, and I absolutely hate what they are now
(always wished I was a boy anyways, different story, haha)

I think if I could just find a job again, not being bored so not being able to eat when I'm bored all day long, would help so much.
But no one will hire me, so the depression isn't really going anywhere eather.

My old phone has a built in pedometer, I loved it, lol.
I've been trying several apps now for my android, and none of them even comes close to what it should be.
The one on my old phone is quite accurate. I used google maps years ago when I got it, to see how far it would be from A to B, and then walk it with my phone with me, to see if it was kind of correct, which it was, haha.

I believe a regular person should take 7.000 steps a day, and not 10.000 like Audra mentioned.
But when you have an office job, try and get to those 7.000 steps ... I dare you ...

I've took my old phone to Disneyland last week, and we did about 15.000 steps each day.
Which is about 11km, and losing about 700 ckal.
But, I ate quite a bit when being over there, haha, so I acutally gained about 400 grams