Thank you both for the kind words, really. Especially you Safila, I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories from before. I feel your pain aswell, now more than ever before. Thank you for the heartfelt advice. And although I know the bad feeling never really goes away, I hope it gets easier for you and you learn to remember more of the good times you had with your dad. That's what I try to do anyway.
Sorry for your mother Sharifu, I really hope it gets better for her. Loneliness is almost the worst part I must imagine. Make sure to call her whenever you can. That's the one thing I started doing a lot more often during recent months, even if I couldn't visit.

We visited him twice today, for about 5 hours in total. He can't speak, open his eyes or move at all anymore except for the occasional moan and twitch, so it's almost impossible to know whether he's sleeping or not. Especially since they amped up the morphine and seditatives, for the pain and the anxiety.
The hardest thing to think about is that he might be awake, but completely unable to respond to anything we say to him or tell us how to soothe him. We try do things that we think might make him feel better, like spraying his dry mouth with water, applying chapstick on his cracked lips, and fanning him to cool the fever. The nurses came about 3 times during the day to change his diaper and turn him over, and everytime his skin was bloodred where the swollen tissue had been pressed against the wrinkles in the sheets.
He's starting to show a lot of the signs of the end. Breathing is very shallow, hands and feet are cold and turning color... Even during last weekend, when he could still somewhat speak, he was saying he wished he didn't have to die, and wanted to live more.

One hour I feel strong and like I'm handling it well, another moment later I feel like breaking down in the middle of the street, and then back again. Even though my family is not all that close, I'm happy we're all gathered here.