Love Life

[jazonhyena]

No, don't worry, you're not sounding like those people. They tend not to have -anything- to say about it.

And yeah, your advice is sound. I've taken it from myself as well; believe me, I'm able to see the learning aspect of it. But, suffice it to say, when one experiences a breakup of this caliber (not like my friends, some of whom act like it's the end of the world when the girl they've dated for 2 weeks lets them gently down; mine lasted for 8 months and my entire reality/worldview/future plans were pretty much shattered) it makes it hard to appreciate the positive side of things.

It doesn't necessarily make it hard to realize the positive side, or to focus on it, but it takes away the ability one usually has for truly feeling better after having considered the bright side. To be perfectly honest, this is one of the only bad experiences I've ever had in my life where it hurt me so profoundly that I can truthfully say I would rather forfeit the learning, however important or helpful this knowledge is, simply to erase the experience from my memory.

[Alli]

Well, we finally admitted it to each other. I was talking to chris on the internet and it started out as innocent talk and than, he asked me if i wanted to come to his house for lunch wednesday (Which i said yes even though i shouldn't) And than he asked me when i can date. Out of nowhere. Turns out the house rule is you can't date till you're ready for marriage. So i told him that and he's all, "That sucks." And we talked and than he said, "Well what if i want to take you dances and i want to hang out with you and do stuff with you." And i said i don't know cause i'm in a tough situation. I want to date and hang out with people but it'd be giving up everything i've earned in my faith and my friendships. He even asked what would happen if he joined my church. He's willing to do that for ME. I told him he didn't have to and than i finally just said it, "Chris, i really like you a lot...and i'm kind of tired of not saying it so i am now." And he said, "I like you too...You're really cool...and it sucks..." He said he wants to date me but i told him i'd definatly be his best friend and he was all, "Yes. BEST friends." So now we've promised we'd try to talk to each other at school more even though it's hard cause we have only one class together.
And we joked around about going to harvard together a couple weeks ago and he said in this conversation, "Well...When we go to harvard and we're away from your moms and pops, maybe than we can date."

Omg le faint! He likes me back...It's so surreal...I can't even believe it hardly. My friends started crying when i told them. It's so sad and yet great.

[LunarCat]

awww. so cute Alli!

[Alli]

I know, i'm so happy. And yet scared. If i get caught going to his house wednesday i'm in deeeeep trouble. But i have such bad butterflies, my stomache is like turning cause i'm like, in love and excited that he likes me at the same time.

[Xinithian]

Originally posted by Alli
Well, we finally admitted it to each other. I was talking to chris on the internet and it started out as innocent talk and than, he asked me if i wanted to come to his house for lunch wednesday (Which i said yes even though i shouldn't) And than he asked me when i can date. Out of nowhere. Turns out the house rule is you can't date till you're ready for marriage. So i told him that and he's all, "That sucks."

You mean your house rule is you can't date until you're ready for marriage? That makes no sense whatsoever... are you sure you didn't misinterpret it as dating instead of sex?

[Sharifu]

Yeah Alli that's kind of weird... You can't date until you're ready for marriage? o_O I'm not ready for marriage and I'm 20...

It's so weird, I have a b/f, but I never go out on dates, I just spend time with my b/f (of course when I can) but I never dressed up fancy to go out for dinner on a date, it's just not me I guess.

[Fear The Paw]

Clap clap clap Well Said Saraifu

[Muruwa]

Originally posted by Sharifu
It's so weird, I have a b/f, but I never go out on dates, I just spend time with my b/f (of course when I can) but I never dressed up fancy to go out for dinner on a date, it's just not me I guess.

I've never dressed up for a date either. I prefer just cuddling on the couch watching a movie ^_^ And Alli, maybe your parents just want you to be careful with who you date. I've been told so many times that you marry who you date, meaning that the kind of people you date are the ones you marry. Of course this is probably more true when you're older, but whatever...

[Sharifu]

Originally posted by Muruwa
I've never dressed up for a date either. I prefer just cuddling on the couch watching a movie ^_^

Yeah. I like that so much better anyways.

[Alli]

Originally posted by Xinithian
You mean your house rule is you can't date until you're ready for marriage? That makes no sense whatsoever... are you sure you didn't misinterpret it as dating instead of sex?

No, my parents believe dating is a courtship, something you do with somebody you would consider somebody you would marry. When you're 14 you're in no way ready for marriage. It's not that hard to make sense of.

[lion_roog]

Originally posted by Alli
No, my parents believe dating is a courtship, something you do with somebody you would consider somebody you would marry. When you're 14 you're in no way ready for marriage. It's not that hard to make sense of.

How can you consider if you want to marry an individual if you can't even date them to get to know them?....Well I guess you could become their friend...it's the same as dating, but without the kissing and a deeper emotional attachment growing from it.

[Alli]

Originally posted by lion_roog
How can you consider if you want to marry an individual if you can't even date them to get to know them?....Well I guess you could become their friend...it's the same as dating, but without the kissing and a deeper emotional attachment growing from it.

Why would i date somebody and get to know them 4 years before i can even marry them? It's senseless. Plus, i'd give up my whole life, my parents trust and everything and we'd probably go out for a couple month and than somebody would dump somebody else and than what do i have? Meh, oh well. I'm satisfied with being his best friend. We've decided that's all we are. I mean, even i can say i'm only a freshman.

EDIT: But that doesn't mean i DON'T want to date him, i'm just being mature...trying to think before i act. But there's no doubt that i like him a lot

[Sombolia]

Originally posted by Alli
Why would i date somebody and get to know them 4 years before i can even marry them? It's senseless.

Um.. most people get to know eachother, like, four or five years before they marry. I understand your situation, I'm just saying. <3

[Xinithian]

Originally posted by Alli
Why would i date somebody and get to know them 4 years before i can even marry them? It's senseless. Plus, i'd give up my whole life, my parents trust and everything and we'd probably go out for a couple month and than somebody would dump somebody else and than what do i have? Meh, oh well. I'm satisfied with being his best friend. We've decided that's all we are. I mean, even i can say i'm only a freshman.

EDIT: But that doesn't mean i DON'T want to date him, i'm just being mature...trying to think before i act. But there's no doubt that i like him a lot

If you date somebody, you get to know what they'd be like as a partner, rather than just a friendship where you don't know what it would be like to truly live with them. If you date when you're serious about getting married (like after a year), and find out that they're not worth it, I think that would be a total waste of time rather than dating them as soon as you were interested in them and found they weren't worth it.

[Sharifu]

I agree with Xinithian, I think it's better to get to know your partner years before marrying them. Really I think a year is too short, in my opinion.

[Shadow]

Originally posted by Sharifu
Ohh boy... I think my love story is kind of different, meeting this person online and all... Well some of you older members should know the member SimbaTheMighty. He doesn?t post much here anymore, but I talk to him on Yahoo or MSN almost every day. Petteri (STM?s real name) first started talking to me, October 2003, when we first joined the board. We were good friends and talked a lot, almost everyday. Around last September I can kind of tell that he started talking to me differently, and last December he told me that he loved me. He said he didn't know how this happened, especially since we were online friends. I always thought he was very sweet, but I told him I don't think I can fall in love with someone without spending time with them in person. A few weeks after he told me, I started thinking about him a lot. I could not get him out of my mind. My heart would even race at times when I thought about being close to him. (And sometimes when he told me really sweet flattering things) I loved hearing his sweet caring voice. He is handsome and I love his smile. (Web cam chats)

And well, when he told me in December that he loved me, a month later I started feeling the same. We all knew Petteri was coming to California for a vacation in April, and we were looking forward to it so much. We both were wondering if we would feel the same towards each other after meeting and spending time together in person. Petteri told me before he left for his flight, that is was ok if we didn?t get into a relationship. (Aww, he didn?t need to worry though) Well here comes April 26, Brad (the member SimbaLKD, or now known as Fuzzy) and I went to pick Petteri up from the airport. When Brad and I were getting something to eat at the airport, waiting for Petteri to get out, Brad asked me, ?So are you nervous?? And I said, ?No.? And then he said, ?Well that?s because you?re not thinking about it.? And damn it I did get nervous after he said that. After waiting for a while, I was looking at the ground, (Brad and I were sitting down) then all of a sudden I hear, ?WTF are you doing here?!? And then I hear Brad talking, and I look up and there was Petteri! (Petteri was asking that to Brad haha, because he didn?t know Brad was going to be there, it was a pretty big surprise, because Brad lives in Southern California, like a 6 hour drive to the San Francisco airport, where we were.) Then Brad gave him a hug then I gave him a hug. ^_^

Brad drove us around to see San Francisco, we went to the zoo, and then the road trip to Brad?s place (and Eric?s, the member Woes, they used to be room mates) started. (That was fun!) The next day was my birthday and Brad?s. Petteri gave me a golden heart necklace for my birthday and it?s really pretty, I wear it everyday. We stayed there for a week, doing fun stuff like going to Disneyland. Petteri and I started to get a little closer during that week? And like one week after he was here, we started kissing! ^_^ It?s a day I'll never forget.

After that week we went back to my house, and he stayed with me for 2 and half weeks. (We even saw TLKoB, he paid for most of it, he got really good seats too! That was so neat? And he bought me a tablet, he told me I?m such a great artist, that?s so sweet) Then after that, we went to Oregon to my mom?s house with Brad and Eric. And even though I had lots of fun with Brad and Eric, it was really great to be alone with Petteri? When he left we were both really sad? But Petteri is going to be here on August 7! (Really soon!) ^_^ He?s going to be here for 3 weeks. He wasn?t planning to be here again that soon, but he missed me so much once he left, that he wanted to come back as soon as possible. It?s hard being away from each other like this? But after he finishes school he wants to move here. Even though I love him, I couldn?t be in a long distance relationship if we never planned to eventually live near or with each other. It?s going to be at least few years till he can move here? But we?ll try to see each other a few times a year. Petteri also wants to come here during Christmas. (My mom and sister don?t mind, I always spend Christmas with them.) And I?m going to try to go to Finland next summer. (That would be so neat, I?ve never been out of the US?)

I don?t really have any love stories before this? This is the first time I fell in love. Of course I had crushes, but nothing like this.

I love Petteri and I can?t wait to be with him next week.

haha...yeah i will never forget that...STM never stoped talking abut you and i mean never....i rimember when i told you this that he never stoped talking abut you...you where like

"oh....he do ?..."

that was just so cute i will never forget that period ^^

[Sharifu]

Well I knew STM loved me but at that time I didn't know he talked about me all the time to other people...

Even Nephilim told me a long time ago, "When does STM not talk about you? "

It's sweet though.

[Shadow]

yeah it sure is ^^

i rimember that it akshely got you on your nervs...but i didnt tell hehe

its akshely quite amazing how a person can talk just abut that preticilar person for so long time but it is just so cute to see aswell

[Sharifu]

On my nerves? Do you mean I was annoyed? I'm a little confused what you mean by that.

[Nephilim]

Heh, after reading this thread for some time, I'm quite shocked how some people are relationship-wise. Different people and different situations though, I suppose.

Although I guess my group of friends is very open and comfortable with their sexuality. For instance, it's not uncommon for me to walk into a room and see two straight guys kissing, or to have one of my female friends pull me aside. It's not even just when we're drunk. Sadly society now sees sexual acts as a ebil thing... and it's weird, because we are probably the least slutty people you will find. The general rule is, as long as you do it with someone of the same gender as you, then it's not cheating. ^^