The Love Life Thread

[KanuTGL]

Thanks so much Audra. It is exciting, though I think I'm still not properly feeling the excitement because we haven't submitted the VISA application yet. I just want it done already but Pat has to renew his passport first before we can do that. So I feel like I'm just sitting around and time is being wasted. Trying not to blame him or think about it though. Otherwise, yes, depending on when we get everything submitted and how long the approval takes, he could be here before the end of the year or at the latest, early next year.

Oh, wow! That is exciting! Here's hoping the application process will run smoothly for you both

[Sharifu]

I just want it done already but Pat has to renew his passport first before we can do that. So I feel like I'm just sitting around and time is being wasted. Trying not to blame him or think about it though.

Did he at least start that? I know that can take 4-6 weeks to get a renewed passport.

I need to renew my passport with my married name, but I don't want to do that until I actually have plans to travel outside of the U.S. And I have no idea when that will be.

[cleargreenwater]

Wow, KS & Leor. I'm shocked, you guys seemed like you had it so worked out.

Well...I haven't been around as long as some of the members here to be as close to....well, the lot of you, Kanu & TL, Leor & KS...so maybe it doesn't mean much but for what it's worth, I think one of the suckiest things about dissolving a relationship is when one or the other has to give up friends along with. I don't know what happened and don't want to, you're all still my buddies though.

Good luck sifting through the pieces and recovering to all

[Lweek]

Wow, KS & Leor. I'm shocked, you guys seemed like you had it so worked out.

Well...I haven't been around as long as some of the members here to be as close to....well, the lot of you, Kanu & TL, Leor & KS...so maybe it doesn't mean much but for what it's worth, I think one of the suckiest things about dissolving a relationship is when one or the other has to give up friends along with. I don't know what happened and don't want to, you're all still my buddies though.

Good luck sifting through the pieces and recovering to all

Yup, as well if only one of pair decide quit. Then there is usually reason that brings conflict and a lot of pain for them both as well as for surroundings.

[Leorgathar]

Thank you all for your support. I've talked with some people here and it has helped to some degree, but there's really nothing like talking to people who have been under something similar and understand much better our situation. I've already chatted with some of you, and I can't thank you enough

Anyway, congrats to Audra and Petteri for their 9 years and Bec and Pat in advance for their 8 years

[ThiagoPE]

I also want to congrat Audra, Petteri, Bec and Pat. I hope you all can stay together for many many many more years

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[Azerane]

4 to 6 weeks! He told me it was far less than that. Damnit no, he hasn't started it yet. I keep asking but he keeps saying "I'll do it soon." I just want to get things moving.

[Sharifu]

Well that's just the info I got off this website: http://travel.state.gov/content/pass...rts/renew.html

Looks like he can expedite it though, but I am sure that cost more money.

[Azerane]

Eww, you're right. I suppose the time can be used to make sure we have all the other VISA stuff in order though.

[Guntur]

Okay guys, I have this weird tale about my self and my love life.

Back on 2003, there's a new student in my high school, she is the same age as mine. For me without a doubt she's the sweetest girl I ever known in my life, till this day.

She was on my high school for a year and I didn't talk to her at all in the entire year over lack of confidence. On 2006, I was in the boot camp or National Service I saw a glimpse of her at the canteen hall. I asked her why is so familiar and such it turned out to be her twin, I mean Identical twins.

While I never saw her again, I'm quite close but ups and down friendship with her twin. It took a toll on 2006 and we never chat with each other again. But early this week I was a little weird about this facebook chat because there's a chat log on the message. It turns out to be her again and I apologize about my behavior and she does the same. It just weird that this kinda like a turned around in my life. But the real problem is I still fell into her despite all these 11 years. I'm so torn over it and I'm kinda restless about it as they both are married and have families. I feel that slowly but surely it would heal the wound.

[Sharifu]

I'm not sure what to say about this. You're upset because both of these girls are married and have a family? Is it because you wish you would of talked to them more in the past? Tell them how you felt?

I'm sorry I don't have an suggestions to make you feel better. I have never been in a situation like that so I don't know what to suggest.

But I hope it will pass and you'll feel better about it soon.

[Guntur]

I'm not upset about her getting married or have a family, although I wish that I could talked to Her in the past and tell her about everything.

it's cool that she contacted me again and want to befriend me. I tried million of time to approach her but this time she approach me and say hi to me personally.

what puzzled me or upset me that I still have feeling for her after all these years, the feeling never fade and I tried million times to bury the feeling and it doesn't work. With her approaching me again just give me a full nostalgic love feeling that I had in the past.

Maybe I'm expecting too much, right now I'm not making move and just wait for her to start the conversation. we had a good chat like yesterday talking about our personal life and such, one things that she changed into a better person, It might be the time for me to changed to a better person too. She, Inspires, Me.

[cleargreenwater]

Inspiration is great and it's wonderful to have friends that do that, that inspire you to be a positive, forward-moving person, but she may very well suspect you still have feelings for her & be why she looked you up despite being married and having a family in the first place. Tread carefully and don't let anyone take you for a ride, be wary of the potential that she's filling holes in her own life and you would be the one with sorrow from it.

[Leorgathar]

I'm very sorry to hear you going through all that, Utora. I don't even know what to suggest If I were in that situation, I guess I too would have many mixed feelings. But I also think that if someone doesn't value you as much as you do, as much as they say they love you, that probably won't change in a very long time. He might still have his feelings for you, but people don't change that easily. I think a good and healthy relationship is one where you admire a person and they admire you back with mutual respect. And you must value yourself in the first place to know that you deserve the same respect back.

Then again, I don't know the situation well enough since I haven't really been through something similar, so I'm no one to judge. I just hope for the best for you and that eventually things will look up

[Kirauni]

Whoa... that's really a sad story, Utora.
I agree with Leorgathar there. I understand why you're having mixed feelings. I don't know how I would react if I found out about my husband having a dating profile or something like that... or maybe if he started a relationship while on one of his buisness trips. That would be horrible...

I'm so sorry for you, really. But don't think for a second that you're worthless, stupid and weak. I know these feelings are natural if you've been betrayed. And that's what has happend to you. I think you're actually very strong, because you don't just give up and resign. You know very well that you have to live with these feelings for some time now. However, instead of giving up, you know that you'll get over it sooner or later and you just have to move on. I really admire this ability. I don't think I could do this.
I really wish you the strength to go on and of course I hope your family will back you up instead of saying "See? Told you so!".

All the best!

[Guntur]

Sorry to hear that Utora. as other says I would have mixture feelings and second thoughts about the relationship. But I will keep this short and simple, If you stumble into a situation like this, there's no second guessing that he's going to leave you for another girl, I'd say ditch him and find someone who willing to stay with you until god's knows when. I would not go far and try to find someone beautiful or anything just find someone that you can and willing to put your trust on.

It's running in my family, when my mom found out that my dad was dating with someone else my mom said he want a divorce with my father. As I did to reina, I ditch her with someone I know or a mutual friend of my cousin. But we only dated for 8 month and things ain't work out on my side. And I was single for my whole entire adulthood since then.

I just want you to know that find someone who you can trust 100% totally, which is checking his (New BF) history, it might sounds hard for you but once you got the answer you may just lay your head on his shoulder. I just keen on someone who I could trust on someone and there's where the feeling grows.

[KanuTGL]

...I just found out that a fellow I kinda sorta have a bit of a crush on apparently is single now.

Ooh, dear...

I've only ever met this guy once, some time ago now, but he made such an impression that I haven't been able to forget him. The fact that I'm now I'm really debating whether to say something to him or not tells a lot about how blown away I was after seeing him that one time, hahaa. Is it weird to get in touch with someone you saw three months ago and haven't spoken to since?

[Guntur]

...I just found out that a fellow I kinda sorta have a bit of a crush on apparently is single now.

Ooh, dear...

I've only ever met this guy once, some time ago now, but he made such an impression that I haven't been able to forget him. The fact that I'm now I'm really debating whether to say something to him or not tells a lot about how blown away I was after seeing him that one time, hahaa. Is it weird to get in touch with someone you saw three months ago and haven't spoken to since?

Kanu, You're not alone on this case. I had to wait for 8 years for her to reply my message in Facebook. Luckily these days I look for a better future after listen to advise from my close friends about moving on because she's married already.

talk to him and Seize the day Kanu, or else you're going to be stranded in the rain for long period of time.

[Sharifu]

Is it weird to get in touch with someone you saw three months ago and haven't spoken to since?

Yeah, I wouldn't know how to approach that without it seeming weird that you haven't talked to him in three months and that all of a sudden you want to meet again. Where do you see him? Do you go to the same school? Can you become friends with him on Facebook? Maybe that wouldn't seem so obvious. That way you can chat a bit and ask maybe to go out to lunch after talking for a bit? But I'm honestly not very good with advice like this, as the last time I was single was almost 10 years ago, and I was way too shy and nervous to be the first to approach a guy that I had a crush on.

[Vidan]

I'm probably the worst at keeping up with people, regardless of how well I know them, but I suppose you could play it casual: "Hey, I remember you. We should hang out sometime." I'm assuming this is someone you know online. If not, I suppose it would be more awkward to suddenly start talking to him if you see him all the time, but you'll never know unless you try.