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Sorry for the double posting people, but I feel I need to broadcast something. :curious:
As I mentioned in the above post, my boyfriends father is not well. He is actually currently in a hospice with pnemonia as well as the cancers. My boyfriend is not fantastic either and neither am I. I may well not post here as frequently as I did and if I do, I do apologise if I seem distracted or angry. We're going through a rough time anyway.
Thanks Lea members.
:love:
I hope things work out, Dyani. Your boyfriend's family, and you, have my sympathy and prayers. Thanks for the concern for my mother as well, I appreciate it :)
Thank you too, Sonique :hugs:
I hate to say it, but we've only had bad news since we found out my mom was sick. The doctor said she isn't responding well to any of her treatments and he's moved her up to Stage III Multiple Myeloma. We're looking around for alternative treatments and she'll be involved in a few clinical trials for drugs or treatments that are in their final stages of developement. We may be moving quite a ways away as we pursue different treatments.
Sorry to hear that Pnt :hugs:
I have a dilemma of my own mm'kay. Y'see, I want this job at Bristol airport which is about 200 miles from where I currently live, I had the interview today and I find out on Wednesday if I got it or not. Thing is though, I was gonna stay with a friend of mine during that time, only to find that the contract on his house runs out at the end of August, and my contract at the airport would run until the end of autumn. This would therefore leave me high and dry 200 miles from home with a job and no accommodation if my friend isn't able to renew or get another contract before then. So should I take the job and hope for the best or turn it down and sign on? For those who don't know, to sign on means to register at the job centre.
I'm just unsure, I mean I want to stay at home because it's cheaper but at the same time I really want this job, but I can't run the risk of losing my accommodation half way through my contract at the airport. Because I'd have to quit half way and go back home, something which I simply cannot do.
So what do y'all think?
In my opinion, if you're really looking foward to this job and it's something you really want to do, then take it. If your friend is living there, then surely he'll have to either renew the contract on the house or find some other place to live there. And I'm sure if you were there you both could work something out with that and help each other with either renewing the contract or finding another place to live.
Tiikeri, if you already have a current and stable job I would stay where you are at... what you describe is a risk taker... but sometimes in life to get what you want you have to take those heightened risks. However given the setup; the means outweigh the ends... personally I'd stay right where I am, until a restore of assurance was fully established ...
I've got a real problem. All my life, I've wanted to do two major things with my life. Learn foreign languages [[many of them]] and fly.
I've been working and have like 900 USD right now towards my private pilot's license. I'm taking German and plan to further both these things in college. It's what my heart and mind have been set on for so long now, it's like my purpose I feel.
My doctor today in therapy told me I'll always be on some form of Bipolar medication that limits "the spread of my wings" basically.
In order to get a private pilots license, I have to do like three to five night solos across country. My doctor says I"ll never be able to stay up all night because it'll upset my Bipolar; that and I could probably not fly a plane on the drugs I'm taking.
[[long sigh]] So I said "Well..then..I guess I could just do foreign languages." and he says "How?" and I felt shocked like, ..dude this is therapy could you please contribute a bit a of optimism in here?
He's like "You are 2 years behind in basic schooling right now..how do you think you're going to accomplish learning another language?"
I'm kinda...just so depressed right now..a part of it I can't control because of my disorder ..so he says...the rest is because I feel like..I'm never going to do anything I really want.
The medical insurance I'm on right now is being taken care of by the Navy, from my father's service time. If I'm not in college by 19, or 21..[can't remember] and if I don't do at least 4 years of college before I'm like 23 years of age, they'll drop me. So..I'd have to find another medical insurance...right now my medication costs like 9USD...because of the navy insurance. LOL...without insurance it's like 654 USD. Makes me sick. I feel stuck...and panicked.
I'm diligently picking up my schoolwork and doing the best I can at every day. I break down and cry because I can't cope with this. I'm sure a lot of other people got it way worse..and I'm probably coming off as an arrogant and selfish person.
Nobody has advice. My doctor..well..he advises I just get my schoolwork done and go from there. I can't even drive yet..I have no idea...I don't even want to drive but I know I'll have to eventually to even live.
Any advice, any words of wisdom or just ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks lea.
:hugs:
about learning a language, any one can do it if they really want to. You just gotta start from basics, practise grammer and take it easy. by learning 10 words a day you will be able to learn 3650 words a year which is quite decent vocabulary right there especially after one year of study. So my advice for you is to get a grammer book of t the language you want to learn and compair it on your first language. I don't know how good you are at the grammer in basic but even better you are it even faster you will undestand the grammer in other languages.
I'm studing swedish right now because I have to and I'm not really motivated to do so. But still in past year I have started slowly understand some of the basics and learned how the grammer works. So I wouldn't listen your doctor but at least give it a try.
( You probably want to learn russian sinse I think you are fasinated by the country, so the first part is to learn the alphabets, but to cheer you up, I can tell that my friend learned decent russian in 2 years and started in age of 18 )
Best of the luck with both of your dreams :hugs:
Problem is though with something like that, you're only learning the words, not the grammar associated with them. Like with me and Finnish. I learnt that the word bed is "s?nky" but to say "my bed" is "s?ngystani" (I think), so to learn all the words with their correct grammar would take a LOT longer since you'd have to learn stuff like "my bed" "his bed" "your bed" "our bed" "their bed" etc.Quote:
Originally posted by SimbaTheMighty
about learning a language, any one can do it if they really want to. You just gotta start from basics, practise grammer and take it easy. by learning 10 words a day you will be able to learn 3650 words a year which is quite decent vocabulary right there especially after one year of study.
That said, if you really tried hard, you could become really good within a year. The only reason I still suck at Finnish is because I only have a CD and a book, you'd need one to one tuition with a native to improve dramatically.
I'm sure you can accomplish the language thing Utora, it doesn't matter how behind you are in school, if you're focused enough, you can accomplish anything.
Doctors tell their patients that they'll never walk or run again, and they do. They tell they're patients they won't live past 30 and they'll live to 50 or 60. Doctors aren't always right. Just because the doctor says you can't do something, doesn't mean it is that way. If you want to learn languages and that's what you're passionate about, then learn languages, don't let what people say about you get you down about it.Quote:
Originally posted by Utora
[[long sigh]] So I said "Well..then..I guess I could just do foreign languages." and he says "How?" and I felt shocked like, ..dude this is therapy could you please contribute a bit a of optimism in here?
As for the flying, I can't really comment on that as I'm not too familiar with bipolar, but it might be a warning to heed. But still, keep saving for it and I'd say see how far you can get with it. Even if it gets to a point where you can't be flying all night, at least you will have had good experience with it.
The guy I've liked since 8th grade-I'm in 11th grade now-has a girlfriend. It's his birthday today, and I drew him a picture as a handmade card-I drew it 3rd period, by the way-and gave it to him just two minutes ago in the hallway. Two of his friends came up and jokingly teased him about going to kiss his girlfriend. They left, and I asked him if it was true and he said yes. Then he said that my drawing was really awesome-I am proud of it myself-and thanked me for the picture.
Anyway, the guy is a Christian, very cute, kind, smart, on the football team, has been a friend of mine for several years, etc.....and I find out that he's taken. And I liked him even before I knew that his dad was a pro football player(Freeman McNeil-he was on the New York Jets in the late 80s and early 90s).
Sure, I am happy for him. Which shows that I really do feel something deep for him beyond physical attraction....But it still hurts. It really hurts....:(
I feel like crying....:tears:
P.S. The guy doesn't know that I like him....as far as I know.
Well... it's bound to happen.. It shows you are a good person for being happy for him... What else can you do in short of telling him your true feelings.
Sorry, Marikunin. :hugs:
It's ok.....I just need some comfort right now....and he's a really good guy, too.....any advice? What should I do?
Yeah....but still, I really like him....but I want him to be happy....:(
please pray for me to feel better....
8th - 11th grade mean nothing to me :s (I need ages, lol)
I can understand how you feel.
You can still keep enjoying his company whenever you can, and be a friend for him.
I'm not quite sure what you could do though...
If there was a way you knew he'd like you to, you could always try and talk to him about it I guess.
My advice is to just stay as his friend, even if you do like him a lot I wouldn't go and tell him that you have feelings for him while he is together with someone else. even it might be hard, you should be happy for him being happy with someone.
And well if something happens between them in somepoint and they brake up, then after you can tell him you have feelings for him, after he has gotten over her that is.
I can't really give you any other advice than that. Just try to keep it cool and the worst you can do is to show that you are jealous... that most likely makes you just more distant... :hugs:
My advice would be to stop liking the guy deeper than friend level. Be friends with him, no more. Trust me, it will hurt less should things go worse than they are now and no, him going out with another girl is more of a blessing than a curse. At least you know he's straight.
PS Personal Experience is a b*tch. ;)
(Also, this would have been better posted in the ATTN thread in The Shadowy Place. Just for reference for if there is a next time.)
Thank you all for being so kind....Dyani, what happened with you? There's a story behind that 'personal experience' comment, I know it....:evilgrin:
STM is right to say that you shouldn't feel jealous, if you act jealous about it, your friend will just think you are trying to be mean or something and why you aren't happy for him. So be happy for him and support him about it. If you support him through it and it ends up not working, then he'll know that you're still a good friend (unlike if you'd been jealous about it) so just try to sit it out. Sometimes waiting is all you can do.
:: Cries ::
Everyone's so supportive!
:: hugs everyone ::
Thank you all so much!
Woudn't that be awkward if you just were to stop being his friend? Especially if you really like him? That logic would cause emotional damage, for both.Quote:
Originally posted by Dyani
My advice would be to stop liking the guy deeper than friend level. Be friends with him, no more. Trust me, it will hurt less should things go worse than they are now and no, him going out with another girl is more of a blessing than a curse. At least you know he's straight.
I'm still going to be his friend. He's a good guy.
Sorry I wasn't stating it well. What I was meaning was try to stop having feelings for him except for being a friend. Thus, still be friends with him but don't feel anything other than that. (Which is difficult but nessisary in a way. Stops you being hurt later on. What if he marries this girl, for example?)Quote:
Originally posted by Elliot
Woudn't that be awkward if you just were to stop being his friend? Especially if you really like him? That logic would cause emotional damage, for both.
Marikunin, my personal experience is explained here. Its kinda old news now but... well I'm still daft enough to be recovering from it. Can you see what I mean, what with my personal experience?
:: reads thread ::
:: hugs Dyani ::
Not really needing advice, but didn't know where else to write this. Didn't want to start a thread. Just kinda down, I have an assignment due in the morning, which I've spent so long researching, but am behind with writing. Working on it now, but I feel so overwhelmed and swamped right now. I haven't been sleeping well either, just can't get to sleep, haven't slept a full night for over a week, it's really starting to take its toll on me. I feel exhausted both physically and mentally. I feel like sleeping for a week, have work all day tomorrow though, not looking foward to that.
i know how you're feeling, i have the same problem now as well, with too much work and barely no sleep, im constantly exhausted and never have a quiet rest or time for myself. Eventually its taking over you, and in my case, i can do nothing about it but to continue to work (cuz during my job as AP, i just cant leave it and say i cant take it more, im going home now ..) i have to be there 15 hours a day 7 days a week, at least for this month, then its summer and i hope i can get some time off then. I wish i cold give you an advice, but i cant cuz i need one myself too .. But things will always be solved in the end, im sure about that, its just to stick around till then and not give up ..
Sleep is very important. If you get any time to do so, try and get some day sleep. You need to offset those missing hours... That's why you're probably feeling exhausted both physically and mentally. That and any stress can cause loss of sleep. Do what you can; and get that much needed rest ...Quote:
Originally posted by Azerane
Not really needing advice, but didn't know where else to write this. Didn't want to start a thread. Just kinda down, I have an assignment due in the morning, which I've spent so long researching, but am behind with writing. Working on it now, but I feel so overwhelmed and swamped right now. I haven't been sleeping well either, just can't get to sleep, haven't slept a full night for over a week, it's really starting to take its toll on me. I feel exhausted both physically and mentally. I feel like sleeping for a week, have work all day tomorrow though, not looking foward to that.
Quote:
Originally posted by Azerane
Not really needing advice, but didn't know where else to write this. Didn't want to start a thread. Just kinda down, I have an assignment due in the morning, which I've spent so long researching, but am behind with writing. Working on it now, but I feel so overwhelmed and swamped right now. I haven't been sleeping well either, just can't get to sleep, haven't slept a full night for over a week, it's really starting to take its toll on me. I feel exhausted both physically and mentally. I feel like sleeping for a week, have work all day tomorrow though, not looking foward to that.
that's tough, best advice i can give is if possible, to set aside some time, about an hour or so, to do something that you enjoy. Something relaxing, or just something fun. Sleep is good but sometimes you need a release while you're awake. :D best of luck!!!
@Elliot: I've been trying to get day sleep, I have trouble with it though, and I keep getting disrupted by things so that hasn't worked.
@Lc: Problem is, when I get stressed about things, I draw. Then because I've been drawing instead of what I was meant to be doing, I get more stressed, so I draw more.
I'm just so tired all the time and just can't sleep. I really have to energy and concentration left.
Thanks for the advice though
Because of your age....get 7.5 to 8 hours of sleep. :)
Quote:
Originally posted by Azerane
@Lc: Problem is, when I get stressed about things, I draw. Then because I've been drawing instead of what I was meant to be doing, I get more stressed, so I draw more.
ah ok, so there's not enough time in the day huh? this is tough, i've been through some times like that. Try setting some goals, like finish 2 paragraphs of your paper before you can get up or something. Then give yourself a reward at the end of it.(i usually have ice cream, ice cream makes me happy, lol, ok moving on) SO yeah, then set another "2 paragraph" goal. take it one step at a time.
I now work at Jack in the Box. They hired me so quick, and when I applied I said I would only want part time. I watched the manager that hired me, Justin, punch into the computer for part time. The first week I worked there, I worked 41.5 hours, and that's not including training. I worked mainly 8 hour shifts, and one day I did a 6 hour shift. I don't mind the 8 hours..as long as I get at least a 5 minuet break. That's the problem. The secondary manager, named T.K....he doesn't believe anybody needs a break. I asked him , "When I work an 8 hour shift, do I at least get 15 minuets for a food break or something like that?" and he said "Well I've worked her a long time and nobody here takes breaks."
It's ridiculous. I'm standing on my feet for 8 hours through a breakfast rush, and a lunch rush. I do premium quality work...but I can't keep up the good work after about the 6th hour and I feel bad because I like working my best. I ask for a break and he says, "No..I need you.". They're understaffed severely but that isn't my problem...is it? If I stand still for more than 10 seconds he says , "No no...find something to do you can't just stand around."..and I'll catch him standing there talking to people..or just standing still thinking or even taking a fancy lunch break. If we as employees eat, we have to eat where we stand.
I'm not in that good of shape right now..I sat on my *** for about 2 years..but I can do good work.
In America...is a person entitled to a break? I feel like it's law to have some manner of a break..but I'm afraid if I confront him I'll be fired. My mom said she's going to call in the labor board to audit the place. I don't know if she should...what if there is no requirement? If we can't have breaks..I'll have to quit. I work solid 8 hours with no pause, and when I take a chance to stop or even go back and take my medication he criticizes me. My feet hurt so bad at the end of the day, and I had to order in my own shoes for crews shoes..well they haven't come in so a manager told me to wear one of the pair in the break room that somebody left there. They are a size 9..I need a size 9 and a half. My heels have blistered and I get home and my socks have some blood in them. Nothing severe but it's painful as hell right now and I feel as if I'm just weak or I'm not good enough. Nobody else says anything about breaks...then again nobody hangs around for 8 hours unless they are a manager.
I think I'm just going to quit. :zzz:
Dont Quit Utora, you are working hard there so you much enjoy it, its just that your boss is being unfair.
IM sure in America, People are entitled to breaks, you should definalty look it up.
Dont give up Utora, look up your employer rights and shove it in his face, and your mum is going to help you with that so thats cool ^^.
And if he Sacks you because you have told him by law he is not giving you suffient breaks. then you can sue him for Unfair Dismissal. So dont give up Utrora, ^^.
There should be a alloted break when you are on your feet all day long. I found this with a quick google search: http://www.dol.gov/esa/programs/whd/state/meal.htm
There should be plenty of information available on different parts of this page. http://www.dol.gov
I will look more tomorrow and send you any links I find that look useful.
I'd quit, personally.
I'm unemployed too, so it's not like you'd be the only one without a job. But there's a fine line between a bad job and an awful job. A bad job being one that's kinda crap but it'll get you by for a while. Whereas an awful job is one that wasn't worth applying for because conditions are so bad.
Your situation reminds me of when I worked at Primark, the place was roasting hot, usually in the 90s and I was stood up at the back of the store on a cash register for hours on end. We weren't allowed drinks of anything and more often than not we were too busy to go for breaks.
But that aside, I think you should quit Utora. But don't quit before you find somewhere else first, that was where I went wrong. I quit my job because I was so unhappy there and didn't apply for anything to take it over, now I'm sat on my arse all day every day because nobody will hire me.
So yes, quit, but find a replacement job first.
If you work 8 hours, by law; they are required to give you one-half hour break. Most places will give you 30 and 2 15's if you work an 8 hour shift. Fines and/or penalties are plausible by the Department of Labor to your employer.
When you work a full day (8 hours or more) you legally must have a lunch break. This lunch break can't be less than 30 minutes long. And you are also allowed to 15 minute paid breaks. I would suggest familiarizing yourself with the law and letting your manager know you would like the breaks you are entitled to as an employee who is working a full day.
Utora, your situation reminds me of what my sister has had to go through at her workplace. She works at Instore (Formerly ?stretcher, a store that sells homeware products in the UK) They hardly ever give her breaks. The only break they give her is about half an hour for lunch (sometimes less) and she works 9 hour shifts. For the rest of the day, she's kept on the tills serving customers. She has asked to be rotated to the shop floor a few times stacking shelves, but they just keep her on the tills all day and give other people the job. She hates the job and is looking for a new one.
People are entitled to breaks in the UK, so why not in the US?
You shouldn't be entitled to work under as terrible conditions, so if I were you I'd quit. But at the end of the day, it's your decision, not anybody elses. Just do whatever you think is right and then go from there. But personally, if it was me in that situation, I'd quit because I wouldn't think it was right for me to be put under those conditions.
We are, but some employers try and act the fool. Nevertheless, fines can be quite high because of insurance purposes, etc.Quote:
Originally posted by King Simba
People are entitled to breaks in the UK, so why not in the US?
Thank you everyone for the advice. It's brought me to a big conclusion.
I probably just got fired because I didn't come to work today, and instead I slept in. I'm calling in to apologize and see if they need me to finish my shift. Hopefully Justin is in and I can ask him about allotted break and meal times.
It's not hard at all for me to get a job, but I don't like changing it all the time. It's not going to look right on my records.
So far the majority say I should be allowed one half hour lunch break and two 15 min breaks on the clock. I'll try to see what their policy is and if they give me a hard time about I'm quitting.
Splah. Their policy don't mean beans. They can't fire you if you have worked 8 hours, and wanting an half-an-hour. Your boss is exceedingly crooked. If employees follow in his footsteps; then you're in bad shape. Quitting accomplishes "nada." Getting him fired/new management, would be the sure way of doing things.