Seeing as there seems to be no admins...

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Originally posted by Lion King Stu
Don't tell her to chill the sooner she gets everything off her chest about this the sooner we can hopefully have of getting back to normal.

I have my own opinions about this but I'm gonna keep quiet about them because most of the thing I would have said have already been stated by Neph and Matabu; and would be pointless to be brought up again.

Fully backing you two either way cause its the truth.

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I mean, I only told her that becuase there are politer ways of asking a person to repeat a sentence.

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Originally posted by Mabatu
I'm going to be completely honest about my opinions here, because something needs to be done.

For quite a while now, i've been very unimpressed over the way 'PhantomBPR' behaves himself on here. Granted, even though he annoys me a lot, i knew he wasn't really breaking any rules, and was just one of those 'unpleasant' people you come across in life. But for him to start sexually harassing one of our members proves to me that he really should no longer be a member at Lea.

His words via PM don't really surprise me either. It's obvious he's got some kind of preoccupation with anything sex-related. Just look at his sig, and that thread he made about the 'lick' smilie for example. I don't care if it is all just in fun - it is not appropriate for this forum.

I'm certain PhantomBPR knows most of the stuff he says is unacceptable, but he continues to do whatever he wants because there are no admins to stop him. In one post of his which i've never forgotten, he said: "I thought Lea was a place where i could have a badass time". To me that sums up most of the stuff he has done. It bothers me because he thinks he can come to Lea, and say whatever he wants, without any respect to how anyone else might feel about it. But i know almost every other member here, including myself, always takes the time to make sure they are not being offensive toward anybody, and makes sure they show an adequate amount of respect. PhantomBPR continually ignores all of this, and his actions via PM top it off.

Tragically a few of the members here think he's a good member, they think he's funny and so on. I find him to be very immature and ignorant. It seems quite clear to me that he thinks he's something big around here. Ultimately i'd be happier if he would go.

Either leave, or sincerely show that he's sorry, and that he'll change, and actually stop being such a low-life.

I don't like being so harsh about this, but i am sick of how everyone at Lea admits there are problems with spam and so on, but never ever points fingers at the causes of the problems. If we make members such as 'PhantomBPR' welcome at Lea, then how can things ever improve? Phantom posts lot of spam, posts sexually-oriented things (even though most of it may not be highly sexual, it is unacceptable on a TLK board), and he also sexually harasses one of our members. Not to mention that he's never really shown any respect to the people that have been here for so long (i can accept that this is more of a personal opinion of mine on the matter, thus not really relevant). An example of why i think he's disrespectful would be when, in the thread about the spam problem, other members said there is too much spam, and he said he has the right to post whatever he wants. That's basically his attitude.

Where do we draw the line? I think 'PhantomBPR' has gone too far this time. If we decide it's ok for him to do all this stuff i've described, Lea will eventually turn into a very unpleasant place to come to.

And what's with the sudden randomness? Am i the only one who actually thinks this is a big problem? :confused:

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I completely agree with you Mabatu. Very well said.
And actually, it's very true the thing about the randomness. It might be fun and stuff, but leave it in the threads for it. It can be quite annoying reading like 30 posts with just random spam when actually the thread is about something completely different.

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Originally posted by Guntur
Can i ask you one question?
Why Do you make this thread???

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Maybe you should read my previous posts.

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Originally posted by Nalinda
I completely agree with you Mabatu. Very well said.
And actually, it's very true the thing about the randomness. It might be fun and stuff, but leave it in the threads for it. It can be quite annoying reading like 30 posts with just random spam when actually the thread is about something completely different.

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I posted earlier about this;)

Oh, sorry Miz. I guess I'm to lazy to read everything :p

Yea, I couldn't be bothered reading the second page:lol:

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Originally posted by Nephilim
Naming no names, I do think I had every right to make this thread, as I said in the title. We have no admins active, and I know mods can't do anything. I've been annoyed at his attitude for sometime now, and this just crossed the line. Hell, he deserves this thread, and while I posted it in a humourous mannor to some extent, sexual harrassment online is creepy, no matter the scale of it. I was upset, I did what I needed to. End of.

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I think Neph had every right to make this topic... As for the reasons she said. I like Neph, and I respect her. Obviously, PhantomBPR did not. :disagree:

wow, it looks like this topic has caused quite a bit of controvosy...

Ive seen worse and I agree that Neph had the right to make this thread.

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Originally posted by Sharifu
I think Neph had every right to make this topic... As for the reasons she said. I like Neph, and I respect her. Obviously, PhantomBPR did not. :disagree:

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I must agree here:ayecapn:

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Originally posted by Sharifu
I think Neph had every right to make this topic... As for the reasons she said. I like Neph, and I respect her. Obviously, PhantomBPR did not. :disagree:

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Well yeah, what Phantom did was really immature, and I hate how some guys just don't get it when you tell them to leave you alone :mad:

What he SHOULD do is apologize, unless he enjoys being humiliated this way.

And I know Neph is pissed, I'd would be too, but she should just take her anger out on the people who angered her, not others, unless they're contradicting her.

Well seeing as Neph received those type of PMs from Phantom, I must also agree with Sharifu. Also, seeing what content those PMs included, that also makes it more understandable.

Here, I have to give my support fully to Neph and Mabatu, but also to Roog and Sharifu, I don't really have to say much else.

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Originally posted by la_reina
And I know Neph is pissed, I'd would be too, but she should just take her anger out on the people who angered her, not others, unless they're contradicting her.

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Huh? :p Who else did I take my anger out on?

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Originally posted by Nephilim
Huh? :p Who else did I take my anger out on?

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well, not me that's for sure.

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Originally posted by Nephilim
Huh? :p Who else did I take my anger out on?

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Well, maybe it wasn't anger, but you could have found a nicer way to ask Guntur what he
was saying, that's all=D

What Phantom posted, and even more so, what he PMed, was sexual harrassment. Now that I know more of what he said, I dunno, I just can't have any other opinion than to say that we just can't have members like that on our forum. Now, for whatever reason, some people here don't get along with Neph (Which I don't see why that is), but get along with her or not, we should have her back on this one and not let someone harrass her. Remember how everyone said Lea was a family way back when there weren't 600 members? (November-ish) I'm not family with most of the new members, many other members feel that way too, but I am still a lot closer to a lot of the older members, and family sticks together. That means that we have eachother's back if one of us needs it. If someone came up to me and said that crap, I'd be pissed. I don't think there's a person here that would be happy to let someone harrass them like that. Phantom is not the victim here.

But, Phantom, bud, all is not lost. You're in a lot of trouble and some people are even talking about having you banned and I have to agree that I think that would be best. You're not banned yet though. If I were you, I'd use my time wisely and try to gain back our trust and respect; it will be hard, it will take more than an apology, and it [i]isn't[i] guaranteed that you'll be able to do so, but you do still have the chance. I'd start by regaining Neph's respect and gaining forgiveness from her. Good luck.

I do agree with Mabatu to a point. I personally think Phantom needs to go (A bit different from my first post, yes, but things have come up since then and now I have more info). I don't, however, think we need to start pointing out individuals who are the spammers or unnecessarily random. (If I understood Mabatu correctly) We already know who they are, and it'll probably just turn into a witch hunt. I already know that there's at least a few people here who would like to see me go, I couldn't care less. I personally have people here that I'm not fond of. Trouble is, we're gonna have the issue of people just saying "This person is part of the problem", whatever that problem is, and have people all over them. Every person here has people who like them and people who don't like them, for whatever reason, and the popularity contest will come into play. We may back up the people who are the real problem because a few members will defend them no matter what the situation, and we may tear down the people who really aren't the problem but not as many people like them. If you guys haven't noticed, it's mostly the younger members of the forum that are the spammers. Now, that's just a rule of thumb, not set in stone, there's some great younger members and some older members who are spammers (younger/older referring to both age and seniority). Why is it that the younger members spam more? They're young and having fun in their own way.

There has to be a compromise between the two groups; I don't like the randomness on the forum, some other member genuinely think it's fun. Because there's no admins for the forum right now, howabout the members who love randomness just all get together and make their own forum. If anyone needs help with Invision Powerboards (setting them up), I'd be happy to help set one up for you. Then you can be as random as you want on that forum and the members of lea who don't like spam are happy too, as long as you keep it off here. Or, the members who don't like spam could make/move to another forum and have all the great conversations we want to have without the annoyance of "OMG!!11Qq I'M A TOENAIL!!1!.!>" every post. The real Leahalalela is the people on it, not the forum software or the Night Sky theme; we'd be the same forum no matter where we were. Hell, everyone here could go to another forum, we'd be the exact same, have MODERATION (Admins that are here and mods that can do something), and we'd be able to solve issues like this. I would throw in 20 bucks a month for webspace if it meant that much to people (Though I'd probably pay yearly). That doesn't mean we have to leave of course, I wasn't saying we should or shouldn't, just throwing another option on the table to get people thinking. My point is, we're aren't this damn vBulletin Board, we're Leahalalela, the group of friends.

i sense tension....

well, my opinion on the topic, is that all this is going to do is make someone leave. Personally, i don't know Phantom nor Neph very well. SO i don't take sides, and i write the following in general terms.

Respect-Respect is needed between two people and/or a group of people in order for them to get along. If there is a sign of disrespect, one needs to have the ability to apologize AND one needs to have the ability to forgive.

I also believe this is a private matter, and in my opinion should have been kept between the two people. However, it is a good way to show what needs to be kept at all times, respect.

EDIT: I believe that noone NEEDS to leave. It should be there choice and not ours. However as it seems the way some of us are replying we just might force them to leave which I do not wish to witness.
People can change, all it takes is time and patience.

Seeing as how Neph had no way to get a hold of Mufasa or Sarabi (who could do something about the problem at hand privately) and seeing that even if she did tell a mod, we couldn't do anything about it.

If someone started harrassing oyu on a street corner, would you just ignor eit and walk on, or would you do somehting about it if you could?

Well, I congrats Neph on her decision. Something like sexual harrassment NEEDS to be brought to attention. It's a crime for goodness sake <<

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Originally posted by SimbaTheLion
If the PM system can't be used responsibly, it may have to be removed; that's what we've done on other sites that I'm a mod/admin of. However most people can use it responsibly...

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It can't be removed. That's the problem. The admins aren't here, so nothing can be done to remove it.