Memories

[unregistered user]

I recently had a very in depth conversation with one of my friends. His old best friend sent him an email the other day and basically told him that they never wanted to see his face again. It hurt him pretty bad. Not to mention that I also told him off the same night he got the email. (Before I knew about the email).

Now first, I came to find out about this because Josh (my friend) and Brian (another one of my friends) had went gambling, using real money, but no actual winnings. The thing is, I didn't know there were no actual winnings, and Josh decided to take the money right out of my wallet, I didn't realize it till much later. And when he returned he put it on my desk and said nothing to me. No apology, nothing. He basically stole from me with no regret or anything....

That's why I went into his room not too long afterwards and told him that I didn't appreciate that and I expected better from him and such. I told him that I knew that they'd bring the money back, but I felt as though my trust had been violently attacked.

He apologized and told me about the email. I felt sorry for him, but still slightly aggravated. However, we begant o talk. He was supposed to leave at the end of this semester, but he was considering leaving earlier than planned, and I was already going to miss him enough when he left at the end, but if he left early it would suck more. He considered himself to be worthless and annoying to everyone around him.

Now, I never would have expected someone like him to be like that. he seemed like a popular person to me, I mean, I had never heard anything but good about him. he told me about his past, how his sister is a druggie and had sold his dog for drug money... He told me about the present, how his parents, in their three bedroomed house didn't have any room for him there, his sister didn't live there anymore, and they had no other kids, yet they couldn't fit him there.

We talked about the future. How he would be leaving and missing all of us, and wanting to leave before he made any more memories with his friends. But then again he didn't feel like he had that many friends int he first place. he felt like he just got in everyones way and annoyed them accidentally. He told me how he was worrying about what to do in the near future, so many different problems he was going to have to face.

And we mostly talkeda bout memories. he didn't want anymore memories that would later bring him pain. he said that college/uni friends don't keep their friendships. And that the memories would only bring him pain.

I comforted himt he best that I could. I told him to focus ont he present, to ask god for guidance and grace, to know his friends will be there, tha tnot everything goes the way we want it to, but nothing stays bad or good forever, all things have a beginning and an ending. And a whole bunch of stuff that i myself had learnt ove rthe years. I also told him a lot about myself. And we discovered that we're more alike then we realized. And I told himt hat it was going to hurt seeing him leave. But together, I think we decided to have the best time we could with what little bit of time we had remaining =)

On the 29th I'm throwing a big ole' party for all of the friends that I've made at college.. when I first started, josh and Brian were the only ones, it has now grown to over thirty people =)

I just really wanted to share this with you guys. ^^

[unregistered user]

I'm certain that I will ^^ Thanks :cheese:

[Sombolia]

Wow.. your friend sounds nearly exactly like mine. =/ She thinks she's worthless and annoying and that nobody cares and she wants to leave >_>

[unregistered user]

Good luck Sombolia, I hope that you can help her, jus tbe there for her =)

[Aurelian]

Ravoc, you have MORE then prooven yourself to be a good freind. Even after he stole from you, you still gave him a shoulder to cry on. That is loyalty and dedication right there. I am proud of you, and proud to be your freind.

As for "Josh", I really hope life comes through for him. From what you described, sounds like he could be suffereing from abuse/neglect releted depression. What he needs most is guidance and love.

[unregistered user]

Aww, thanks Roquivo =D

I'm not sure what he's going through (the exact name that is) but you could be right. He definitely seems depressed, and he stores it inside, he told me that it had been a long time since he last cried, cause he did cry while we were talking (I was close to tears myself), some real personal stuff that both of us had to tell each other.

And once again, thank you for that comment, that made my day ^___^

[Azerane]

Wow Ravoc, it seems that you just did so much for your friend, well done. It's sometimes just needed to have someone to listen and you did very well and it's great that you could also share with each other and work some things out. I'm sorry that he's going to be leaving soon but I hope that you have many good times in before he goes. :)

[lion_roog]

You're a top notch dude, Ravoc. I have a few friends in real life like you and I feel so lucky to have them in my life....I don't consider them friends, I consider them brothers.:cheese:

[unregistered user]

*:hugs: all* Awww, thanks guys. Hmm.. have any of you guys had an experience like this one? A friend and you had something wrong and it was solved by talking, or something?

[lion_roog]

Originally posted by Ravoc
*:hugs: all* Awww, thanks guys. Hmm.. have any of you guys had an experience like this one? A friend and you had something wrong and it was solved by talking, or something?

A very good friend of mine told me that he wanted to kill himself. We talked for hours, I was the only one he told because he knew that I had wanted to do the same when I was about 14 years old and that I have been through a lot of crap, so he could relate to me...plus I was the only one he felt like he could trust. I told him that everything seems like crap and that there is no hope now, but you gotta fight through it because things will get better and all.

[Mabatu]

That sounds like a really nice situation there. By 'nice' i mean that it's great you were able to support someone, and really be there for them. And to me, people doing that for other people seems pretty rare, so i hope you know how much of a great person you are Ravoc. :)

As long as Josh remembers that there are actually people like you that actually do care, and will be there for him, then things will be fine for him, no matter what happens. If he continues thinking nobody cares about him, thats when things make become regretable. I'm sure after your talk, he knows that people do actually care :cheese:

This has got me thinking about how my situation with friends is at the moment. I don't mean to make this about myself or anything...but i don't have any good friends at university. When i think about it, all i have is acquaintances at uni, but there's nobody i could say i actually care about, and actually want to go places and have fun with. I have a good friend that i've known since primary school, and the other day we went out to a movie and that was great fun, but come to think of it, he's the only person i would call a good friend - in the realm of "real life" that is. At my old school i used to know quite a few people, and everybody knew me. They knew i was 'the smart one' :p which is debatable, but i actually used to be surrounded by people that did care, to a certain extent.

All of the people at uni (so it seems) aren't the type that would care about anybody else. They all obviously have the mindset that they are number 1, and their priorities revolve around the way they make themselves appear - they basically aren't 'down to earth' people as i'd say - they're all stuck up. This is probably the penalty i pay for going to a uni where all the stupid rich kids from uber-expensive private schools go to :rolleyes:. The thing is, i want to be friends with people (who doesn't?), but none of these people would want to be my friend anyway, and i really don't want to know them because of their attitudes, but that certainly doesn't mean i don't try.

I guess there are nice people there...i mean i've met a couple of people who are quite nice, but they have friends from their old schools and while they are willing to talk to me, its obvious that their group is already established...leaving me as an 'acquaintance'.

I and just realised this has turned into a bit of a rant, well i guess i had to talk about it sooner or later. Obviously its somewhat of a big issue for me. I'm not a disagreeable person at all, and i never act unpleasant toward anybody even if i pretty much hate them, and yet apparently i'm not good enough for anybody to actually want to have anything to do with me. Lately i've not had much time to visit Lea, so i don't post a great deal. When i do, nobody seems to care about what i said anyway. So while i used to feel really cared about on here, now i think that nobody on here even cares about me. So obviously i feel great about that. I'm pretty sure i won't get much of a reply to any of this, so that'll pretty much confirm what i think :confused:

Uh, so i guess in answer to you're question Ravoc, no, i haven't really had a situation where i've talked about serious things with a friend. In "real life" that is.

[Fyxx]

You know it's very hard to find friends like you. You are a diamond in the rough so they say. Josh is very lucky to have someone who cares so much for him. I hope that he can work thru his problems and realize that he isn't a bother to anyone. As for his family not having any room for him...my in-laws are the same way basically *not just my husband's Mom and Dad...but the whole family*...except they hate me with a burning passion for some reason. *shrugs* It's hard being rejected by family, and it also hurts deeply. This thread made me smile, because it's hard to find decent friends sometimes...and again I say...Josh is very lucky. =)

[unregistered user]

Aww, Mabatu :( *:hugs:* You're important to me, you're one of my close friends here at Lea. And I didn't find these friends, they found me. But they taught me really how to get out there and make friends. Just shoot for the stars but be willing to fail when it comes to making friendships, be honest and loyal and only a total moron wouldn't want to be your friend buddy =) :hugs:

And thanks to both of you for the nice comments. I do have good news, that my friend Josh has headed back to California to visit his home for a few months and then he's going to either live there or move to North Carolina with his girlfriend, soon to be wife ^^ So good things are in his future =)

[Mabatu]

Thanks heaps for your kind words Ravoc :) :hugs: I appreciate it very much. I guess eventually i'll come across one or a few people who are genuine and nice - i look forward to it. In the meantime, i'm pretty much content with just having a few people from Lea as being good friends, and of course my other friend "in real life" :cheese:. Sometimes i get down about certain things, but things aren't really so bad for me. I hate it when i get the idea that everyone dislikes me...it can be hard to convince myself that it's not true - and that's another reason i'm so glad i made the decision to join Lea all that time ago, it's given me heaps :hugs: