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unregistered user
March 19th, 2005, 09:20 AM
Alright people, I haven't made a thread in a while it seems, time I did :p

Alright.. so here's the thing.. I can write poetry,or so I've been told by some of my friends I've made here at college. But what I find irnoic, is that I really don't care for poetry. Eh.. so I just wanted to know if you guys think that my poems are poetry or not.

Poem #1~
Reality Check
Reality has left me barren.
Society has confused me.
Love has forsaken me.
Friends have left me stranded.
Family has gone before me.
You killed me.
Death consumes me.
I die.
I wake up.
To do it all again.

Poem #2~
Lonely Mr. Rain
I saw Mr. Rain sitting by himself one day.
Most would say that he seemed very sad.
But I was determined to make him glad.
So I walked outside that rainy afternoon.
To sit on the bench with Mr. Rain.
?What is the matter ole? Mr. Rain??
He turned with a gloomy disposition.
?Young Miss Sunshine has left again.?
?Every time I visit, she leaves me here.?


I have more, but those are two of my most recent ones. What do you guys think?

King Simba
March 19th, 2005, 09:50 AM
Some nice poems here, I like how they're written too. Short and sweet. ;) :cheese:

Azerane
March 19th, 2005, 10:19 AM
I like the second one better. I think it's awesome!! :D :cheese: The first one is cool as well but I seem to like the idea behind the second one better. Great job on both of them Ravoc!

Lion Roar
March 19th, 2005, 12:13 PM
Very nice poems Ravoc! :wow:

Huma
March 19th, 2005, 04:14 PM
I like second one too, nice poem rav ;)

Ngatuny
March 19th, 2005, 04:19 PM
They are both great, I like the second one better or rather I'm more familiar with the feeling there.

unregistered user
March 19th, 2005, 07:16 PM
Thank you guys :cheese: Glad you like them ^^ Yes, the first one was inspired over Spring Break when I was left stranded on campus and it was a really crappy day for me.

And the second one was inspired by me having to walk to the local Subway when the rain was pouring down hard. I personally enjoy the rain ^^

EDIT:

Here's two other poems, both fairly lengthy:

Poem #3- An Evil Love?
How can one stop the desires of the heart?
Or the lust of the flesh?
Who is he that can deny his dreams entry into the reaches of his soul?
Where is the land of love?
When will I reach this sacred place?
Or am I forever doomed to lock away these desires, these hopes and dreams, these wishes, into my own little black box.
I have tried so many times to close that which lay inside, but the box refuses to lock.
One can not lock such things away, for if they are ever successful, they can never be happy.
They can never be free.
But I dare not open this box, for the power it holds could destroy us all.
Love is a powerful thing.
Sadly, love has turned on me, it is now my enemy.

Poem #4- Restless Searching
You know I've often wondered something,
That no matter how hard I search,
If I were to travel the entire earth,
My mission would fail.
My search for;
Dignity and Valor,
Righteousness and Holiness,
Truth and Honesty.

Oh, I know I won't find it in myself,
I'm searching for it in others.
To search for any of these things in oneself is impossible.
Cause even if you have one of those things
You've lost it by claiming to have it.

I'm looking for something,
That I shall never find.
And yet I continue my unending search,
Based solely on the hope that somewhere,
Someone out there,
Is the one I've been searching for.

Evil loves nothing better,
Than to drag the Good down into Evil.
Or at least to mock the Good,
Telling them that it is hopeless.
It is because of this,
That I continue my search.

Oh, and lest I forget, love.

Sombolia
March 19th, 2005, 10:47 PM
Those are all really great Ravoc! :wow:

Darkslash
March 20th, 2005, 02:28 AM
Ravoc, you have a way with the figurative language... metaphors, and personification as well.

Great Work!

unregistered user
March 20th, 2005, 06:53 AM
Thanks Sombalia and Darkslash ^^ I wanted to make sure that my friends here at college weren't just saying that it was good to jus tbe nice. thanks, now I feel as though I'm good at something! Weeeeee! Always a good feeling ^^

Huma
March 20th, 2005, 07:42 AM
Believe me Ravoc, you ARE good. and you know what, you shouldn't worry too much about that. Some poems are better than the others, but it won't make them more worthy. the good of poetry alway is, imo, the honesty that beyond all other forms of words. I love all the poems that made by truthful thoughts and honest feels, nothing sprays upon.

unregistered user
March 20th, 2005, 05:06 PM
Those are great Ravoc :wow: i love Lonely Mr. Rain :cheese:

unregistered user
March 20th, 2005, 08:02 PM
Thanks Huma and Rogue Lion ^__^ :cheese:

Only-now
March 21st, 2005, 04:57 AM
Hey, I dont want anyone to think im trying to steal Ravoc's light here..lol...cause im not, those are good, but this just reminded me I havent posted a poem of mine in a while either..so..im going to here. It is a bit old, but being as I have been visiting again, Im gonna post it..k..? Here 'tis!

Cries echo through the plastic halls.
Pleading, and begging to break these walls.
A shield of devotion, a sword, the same.
His love is struck,beat, and maimed.

But still, through this red clothed fight.
Both stand for what they know is right.
To sacrafice all they've known.
To drop, with regret, all they've shown.

A day is named for silent leave.
And one day named for a man to grieve.
His mind disposes of his pains.
As he waits, and readies for those plains.

The dirt and dust coat his boots.
He has finally broken all his roots.
And maybe in a twist too late.
A small poem falls as if in fate.

The paper thin, and the ink now worn.
It's smooth like cloth, and its edges torn.
He reads its' lines, and remembers the day.
When a friend too loved, let him slip away.

I liked that one, and I wrote this one today while i was at this meeting. It really doesnt have a title yet...but that last one was "A Friend Too Loved" Here's the other.

It's a quiet urge.
Just a simple feeling.
One simple sight.
And your head goes reeling.

Time and time again supressed.
Thats shield decays, there's never rest.
And when you try to break that bond.
You feel you felt it all along.

If you ask, it's all the same.
You wish your heart could take its aim.
The time to think, has come and passed.
You forget once more, peace at last.

That took a few minutes, so the first one was obviously better..lol.

unregistered user
March 21st, 2005, 05:18 AM
Both of them are very nice buddy ^___^ Congrats ont hem, I particularily like the first one.

Only-now
March 21st, 2005, 05:55 PM
Thank you, as I said earlier..yours are too..hehe :)

unregistered user
July 29th, 2005, 11:54 PM
I've made several mor epoems and I thought I should update you guys on them =)

~~~~~~~~~
Woe

Have you ever felt forgotten, lost, and all alone?
Have you ever been forsaken, abused, and chilled to the bone?
Has fear ever pranced upon your weary heart with glee?
Have your dreams cost you much too high of a fee?

Then flee this evil place of yore and go as far as you can go.
?Fore all is lost and you too shall soon lose your very soul.
The devil he?sa after you, but he?s not your greatest foe!
Look deep inside your heart and you shall find your true enemy is woe.
~~~~~~~~
The Old House

There was an old house at the edge of the town,
And whenever Miss Betty would pass it,
She would always wear a frown.

?Imperfection and ugliness disgust me? she said,
?That house is old and rusty,
It?s purpose it?s fulfilled? she told the courts.

And so on January first,
The old house was plowed down,
There was no remorse.

But an old man had lived in this house,
A long time ago,
He sat down beside me and told me his tale.

?A king that is now dethroned,
A movie star that no more shines,
And countless dreamers, forgotten?

?Sir?? I asked,
Confused by his mumbling,
He then stood up.

?But, we are all destined to fall down?
The old man said,
And then he was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Imagine A Poem

When I am alone in my own world,
I fight dragons, witches, and evil spells.
Against the wind, into the rain,
Storm the castle fortress!

When I am alone in my own world,
I fly through the air,
As I see the world's wonders!

When I am alone in my own world,
I save damsels and do great deeds!

And then I wake up.

But, when I am alone in own world,
Everything is alright,
And I have found peace.

In my own world of imagination.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dreams Lost

A great Inventor,
But there's nothing to invent.

A famous writer,
But the pages are blank.

A renowned artist,
With no feeling in the picture.

A visionary,
But blind.

A wonderful poet,
Without a soul.

A voyager,
Yet there is no voyage.

A Hopeless Romantic,
And no one to love.

All had dreams.
But lost them along the way.

Hold on to your dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
(This poem is dedicated to someone here, they know who they are x) )
A True Friend

It's funny,
how quickly everyone you trust,
can suddenly turn on you.

And then the person,
you didn't expect to be there,
by your side-

Picks up his shield,
to defend you,
from the blows,
dealt by those-

That had proclaimed to defend you.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Can You Hear Me?

Where will I turn,
When there?s no way out?
When I?m lost and afraid?
When I?m all alone?

Who will I blame?
When I fall?
When I fail?
When I harm?

When will this end?
My sorrows.
My jealousy.
My hatred.

How has it come to this?
Depression.
Loathing.
Suicide.

Why?
Was I born?
Have scars been made?
Isn?t there blood?

What has become of me?
Of my dreams?
Of my future?
Of my heart?

It all lays sprawled out,
On the floor,
In the open.

Covered,
Hidden,
Secretly and slowly-

Dying.

I?m screaming for help.

Why can?t they hear me?

LunarCat
July 30th, 2005, 12:22 AM
very nice Ravoc, beautifully done ;) :D :cheese:

DarkElf
July 30th, 2005, 07:50 AM
I'm impressed with the poetry of both Ravoc and Only-now. Very good stuff.

I am immersed in a world of artsy-fartsy stuff and, I assure you, your poetry is considerably better than the vast majority of crap being published today.

The best advice to a poet I've ever heard: keep observing, keep thinking, keep working.

You're good. Don't stop and don't let anyone dissuade you from your desire to write. I did and beat my head against the walls of a career in Accounting because "that's a real job". Too late for me, but not for you.