so yeah ... sad day today

[nathalie]

I haven't putted this on facebook, as I have relatives on there, and I didn't wanna start a "hype".

But this morning during the 9am news on the radio, we heard a woman had a car crash in our town.

At 12.15pm my boyfriend's sister calls ... it was there mother (my mother-in-law).

We didn't get along at all, but even I had my share of cries today already :tears:

[Aurelian]

Geez, I am so sorry to hear that. My deepest condolences.

[Leorgathar]

Oh no... I'm very sorry to hear that, Nathalie :( My deepest condolences to you and their family

[Guntur]

I'm very sorry to hear about the news Nathalie, My deepest condolences to you, your family, your boyfriend and his immediate family. :(

[Kirauni]

Oh my dear... that just hit me. I had to read your posting a couple of times until it really "sank" in. That must be horrible for all of you and I don't really know what to say.
I understand that you didn't get along with her too well, but I don't think that matters in a moment like this. My thoughts are with you and with your boyfriend and of course the family.
I'm always having difficulties when it comes to expressing condolenes to somebody else. When my father suddenly died 10 years ago I didn't want any of that. Everytime somebody expressed how sorry they felt, the sadness and anger came straight back to me. It was a hard time... On the other side, it's so great to have people who care and it hurts when they don't respond to the issue at all just because they're afraid of saying something wrong. The time, when the first "wave of grieving" is over and some friends actually stop talking to you, because they don't know what else there is to say... that's a hard time, too. And I really hope that you don't have to go through this as well. Take your time and rest assured, we do care :)
Although there's nothing neither I or we at lea can actively do right now, to ease your pain, be sure that we'll lend you a shoulder to cry on.

I wish you all the best and a lot of strenght and courage!


*hugs*

[cleargreenwater]

That's devastating. My heart goes out to you guys and my thoughts are with you all so much right now.

[nathalie]

Thanks so much you guys.

Kenny is doing, well ... he keeps strong during the day, he wakes up between 4 & 5 am and then probably because he's on his own (as I don't always get up with him that early, but I obviously hear him cry/scream) he completely crashes.
Not much I can do, he's one of those who much rather handles things on his own, I do try to comfort him, but he doesn't always want me to.

*sigh* :hugs:

[cleargreenwater]

It's anyone's nightmare and I'm so sorry he's stuck in it for real. Good luck over the next few days getting through the services, still in my thoughts.

[nathalie]

Yesterday I was still asleep, it was 8am or so (don't think I'm a lazy person, lol, I've just had a lot of sleep-shortage in the past few weeks and this isn't helping either getting my energy up again), and he just ran in the bedroom and threw himself on me and started to cry, and he kept asking me to wake him up :/ I don't know what to do.

[Lweek]

I'm sorry for your and especially your bf lost Nat. Let him cry and express all sadness, be patient. That's the only way and only thing you could probably do.

[nathalie]

He usually turns me away when I wanna comfort him.
Yesterday he threw it in my face that the entire week I was no use to him.
But, you push me away all the time!! That ain't fair towards me.

[ThiagoPE]

That is so sad. Lose mother this way must be one of the worst thing that can happen in your life. (to me is the worst)

I just can say my condolencences for him and his family and ask you to understand his pain and try to manage his behave during the next few weeks, as he can do or say thing that he would not do if this hasn´t happened.

[KanuTGL]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, Nathalie :worried: My condolences to you and the family; this must be absolutely awful to go through :(

[nathalie]

Thanks guys :hugs:

The funeral is behind us now (goes fast in Belgium, usually within the week of passing). Now it's just a matter of formalities, letting certain companies know she passed away, and most importantly, what to do with her house she just bought about 3 years ago.
Sell it, or rent it.
I think the funeral wasn't even the most emotional thing yet my boyfriend has to go through.
For the past 2,5 years he's putted blood and tears in that house, to get it to what it is now together with his mom.

Other then that, her car is in possesion still, they are still investigating how this accident could have happened.
As the car was hit completely on her side against a tree, and then somehow spinned around and ended up in the ditch next to the tree, it's completely strange how the car ended up the way it did.
(I know "ditch" sounds awfull, but I don't know another English word for that)

[HasiraKali]

I'm just now seeing this... I'm so sorry to hear about this. :( Let me know if you need anything. :hugs:

[nathalie]

Thanks Amanda.

It's like he thinks he's the only one struggling right now, he can't imagine that it's effecting me too. Figures.

How odd it may sound, even I need someone to talk to about everything that's been going on.
My therapy got cancelled yesterday, and will have to wait till next Wednesday *sigh*.

[Kirauni]

I'm glad the funeral is finally over and I still wish you two all the strenght you need to go through this mess.

Yes, that whole situation is just so unfair. I'm glad that you keep in mind that you both are in a very hard situation right now and that you know he doesn't even realize how hard everything is for you. But that's not helping you, because you also need a place where you can be true to yourself. I can really relate to that.

When my father died, I also thought it wouldn't affect my husband that much. It wasn't his father afterall... but I've spend my whole life with him and now he was gone. I simply had to rely on my husband for strength, because I couldn't face it all alone. I must have been really unfair to him, too. Although I tried my best to remain calm and focused to other people, there were times I simply broke down. You know, when nobody else can see you... Seeing me like this and not really being able to help must have been awful for my husband. Today I know that he also went though a lot back then and that losing my father was very hard on him as well. I feel sorry for him, but I'm glad that we've made it though these hard times.

So... what I want to say is that although this is very hard for both of you right now, it's understandable and I really wish you two all the patience and love for each other to get though this.

Remember, we're here when you want to talk. Or maybe just ranting makes you feel better, too. *hugs* :hugs:

[Azerane]

Oh Nathalie, I'm so sorry. I know I'm a bit late here but my deepest sympathy for your loss, I can't imagine how hard it must be. :hugs:

[nathalie]

Thanks Rebecca :)