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View Full Version : Let's talk about yo momma! XD



unregistered user
October 13th, 2004, 08:51 AM
YO MOMMA SO UGLY...

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!

Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road!

Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco bell and they all ran for the border!

Yo momma so ugly people go ask her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

YO MOMMA SO FAT...

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma so fat we're in her right now.

Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her...

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!"

Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn."

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please."

Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the *****'s good side!

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips!

Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo.

Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu.

Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whoelband skips!

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Yo momma so fat when the ***** goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma so fat she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn-X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide.

Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!

Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 757 caught in her teeth.

Yo momma so fat to her, "light food," means under 4 Tons!

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!

Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!

Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo momma so fat she won, "Miss Bessie the Cow 94."

Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans.

YO MOMMA SO STUPID...

Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!

Yo momma so stupid, she thought, "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.

Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

Yo momma so stupid, she couldn't read an audio book.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.

Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hourr virus.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.

Yo momma so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.

:eww: :D :lol: :cheese: !!!

nathalie
October 13th, 2004, 09:06 AM
wow O_O

lion_roog
October 13th, 2004, 09:06 AM
:lol: :lol:

you nearly took them all....:D

Well, here's mine...it used to be in my sig...

Yo' Momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror, she said "Yo, who put this mountian in my way?!"

EDIT: and anothers..

Your Momma's so ugly, that when she was born, the doctor slapped your Momma's Momma....

Your Momma's so ugly that when she was born, her parent's asked for a replacement...

Nala-Rules
October 13th, 2004, 09:09 AM
:lol:

I got loads of these :D But I remember very few now though :confused::(

Shatara
October 13th, 2004, 09:41 AM
Well...well...well.......

...YO MOMMA!!!

lion_roog
October 13th, 2004, 09:57 AM
You're mean....:(


:D

unregistered user
October 13th, 2004, 10:16 AM
Yo momma so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her own reflection threw up!
:lol: :lol: :lol: XD

Ngatuny
October 13th, 2004, 03:14 PM
:badnews: :lol::lol:I'll ad some later.

King Simba
October 13th, 2004, 03:52 PM
:lol: Wow, that's a lot! :wow: :Psst:

Nephilim
October 13th, 2004, 05:05 PM
*coughs* the pikes of London's finest insult:

Your mum plays rugby.

TakaTiger
October 13th, 2004, 09:11 PM
:lol: good stuff sonique

Neph: i guess sence im not from around there, ill be lost on that one? :confused:

CheshireCat
October 13th, 2004, 10:37 PM
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
LOL!

ChancellorScar
October 13th, 2004, 11:03 PM
that stuff is good! hehe keep em coming!:cheese:

unregistered user
October 14th, 2004, 04:38 AM
Yo momma so fat, when she got on the scale, the scale said: 'GOD DAMN BIT**!'.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Juniper
October 14th, 2004, 04:50 AM
Yo momma's so fat and clumbsy, she was on her way to Walmart, tripped over a Big Bear, and fell right on Target.

Kinda corny, but still funny if the right person tells it.

lion_roog
October 14th, 2004, 05:43 AM
Originally posted by pntbll248
Yo momma's so fat and clumbsy, she was on her way to Walmart, tripped over a Big Bear, and fell right on Target.

Kinda corny, but still funny if the right person tells it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v468/Rugar12/Kiara%20Smilies/LaughKiara60.jpg I've heard variations of that one...

The one I hear the most is the: Your Momma's so fat that on the way to Walmart she tripped over KMart and landed on Target....:D

unregistered user
October 15th, 2004, 04:22 AM
Yo momma so fat, when she approached the scale. The scale got up and walked away. XD

Yo momma's underwear so crusty, even Betty Crocker couldn't scoop it out. XD

Yo momma so stupid, she put a dollar in the change exchange machine... (dumb bit**, thought she won the lottery!) XD

lion_roog
October 15th, 2004, 07:53 AM
Yo momma so stupid, she put a dollar in the change exchange machine... (dumb bit**, thought she won the lottery!) XD

:haha:

"Can I go?....There's this game there, where you put in a dollar and you win four quarters!!!.....I win everytime!!!"

-Chris Griffin

:D

unregistered user
October 15th, 2004, 10:49 AM
Yo momma so fat, she got her big toe stuck in the toilet.

"That's a huge bit**!" - Richard Pryor XD

:lol: :lol: :lol:

unregistered user
October 22nd, 2004, 07:54 PM
Yo momma so fat, her cholesterol is Oreo Double Stuffed! XD o_O

:lol:

unregistered user
October 30th, 2004, 12:38 PM
Yo momma's so fat,
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo momma's so fat,
a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

unregistered user
October 30th, 2004, 11:54 PM
:lol: These used to be great a long time ago, though nobody around my parts never say them anymore, because they either got to be really offensive or that it just got to be incredibly boring.

nafklt
October 31st, 2004, 01:53 AM
:lol:

Shadow
October 31st, 2004, 09:16 PM
i dont like this threat:badnews:......how can you even make fun off mothers:Ohno:........
:(

Lion King Stu
October 31st, 2004, 09:36 PM
gotta agree with shadow here i hate it when things come to these kinda jokes

unregistered user
October 31st, 2004, 10:10 PM
Originally posted by shadow
i dont like this threat:badnews:......how can you even make fun off mothers:Ohno:........
:(

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, these jokes are pointed at NO ONE. x_X

Shadow
October 31st, 2004, 10:16 PM
Originally posted by Sonique21837?
FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, these jokes are pointed at NO ONE. x_X

yeah i know....but still:(.....

unregistered user
October 31st, 2004, 10:20 PM
*orders LH antidepressant pills* XD

Shadow
October 31st, 2004, 10:46 PM
Originally posted by Sonique21837?
*orders LH antidepressant pills* XD

very funny......

Monai
October 31st, 2004, 10:47 PM
Is that the American version of the British 'chill pills'?

unregistered user
October 31st, 2004, 11:26 PM
Originally posted by shadow
very funny......

Actually, it's not...

*retrieves legendary quote*


Originally posted by Nephilim
Also, has anyone noticed about how all we're doing in *****ING about the forum, making it worse then it is? Heck, it wasn't even bad to begin with.

You're right Neph, I've noticed that too. XD

la_reina
May 4th, 2005, 11:07 AM
Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale. :lol:

unregistered user
May 4th, 2005, 11:10 AM
Mummy Thread :lol:
this gonna be early mothers day thread :lol:

lion_roog
May 4th, 2005, 12:01 PM
Yo Momma's so Ugly, that when the arrested her, they took her to the pound!!!.....:D

la_reina
May 4th, 2005, 12:36 PM
:lol::lol::lol:

Shadow
May 4th, 2005, 01:30 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v351/Shadow_89/Smylies/nuka.gif.........

Lion King Stu
May 4th, 2005, 01:49 PM
oh god not this thred again *smacks head with paw* plz don't go overboard with this please...and watch wat you say

Shadow
May 4th, 2005, 02:43 PM
yeha i say the same but sense this topic is tipcaly abut "momma" i will stay out of it and not cumpline....come on LKS let them yo momma how much they want.....we dont need to go here and nether are we asked to....so let them have there yo momma.......

King Simba
May 4th, 2005, 02:45 PM
Originally posted by Lion King Stu
oh god not this thred again *smacks head with paw* plz don't go overboard with this please...and watch wat you say
Yeah, I agree there. :bleen:
All I'm saying about my 'momma' is that she started weight club the other week...that isn't an insult either. :p

Aurelian
May 4th, 2005, 02:50 PM
I am with KLS and Shadow. I never could figure out how these kinds of joked amused people. Espicailly when they don't even know if the target's mother is ac6ually heavyset or not.

Guntur
May 4th, 2005, 03:44 PM
haha.. i think anybody whos become a momma gonna be mad when they read this thread :lol:
talk about mothers day....
well..
1. Dont take this seriously.. we all know this is a Joke
2. and yes Momma give ya birth and suffer for 9 month
3. haha and one thing.. respect ya mama.. ;) we all know that we dont exist without her
:cheese:

Shadow
May 4th, 2005, 05:16 PM
Originally posted by Guntur
we all know that we dont exist without her
:cheese:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v351/Shadow_89/Smylies/nuka.gif

you could say that :tears:.......

Nalinda
May 4th, 2005, 07:36 PM
I laughed at many :lol:

lion_roog
May 4th, 2005, 08:07 PM
If you guys have a problem with this thread, there's this thing called "not clicking on it".....There's a lot worst things people can say about your Momma, and believe me, I've heard some nasty stuff...so maybe a "Yo Momma" joke doesn't really bother me.

LunarCat
May 4th, 2005, 08:51 PM
personally i agree with Roog, if you can't handle it, don't read it! ;)

unregistered user
May 4th, 2005, 08:51 PM
^^ Indeed, Roog! Of course, you can also gouge out your eyes if you like too, (it's REALLY fun)...

:D ;) :lol:

unregistered user
May 4th, 2005, 10:39 PM
yes roog... :p
gotta agree with you

Sombolia
May 5th, 2005, 01:42 AM
I was about to say that, Roog. :bleen:

If this stuff doesn't amuse you, stay out of it. No need to ruin our fun :p

I got one.. :idiot:

Yo momma's so poor, she can't afford to live!

Alli
May 5th, 2005, 01:43 AM
Haha, i love these! They're hilarious!

Lion King Stu
May 5th, 2005, 06:07 AM
yeah you lot are right I can handle these but certain members can't thats all I am saying....Since I don't agree with this then this is my last post you will ever see here on this thred.

Fear The Paw
May 5th, 2005, 06:37 AM
I like to have fun to but this the wrong kind of fun, SoniqueX once others start disregarding when the truth is being said. It's time to close the thread, I believe you know what to do SoniqueX close the thred before even more people get hurt, one is too many, and you had your funs so close it NOW.

Azerane
May 5th, 2005, 07:01 AM
hehe, I know this thread has all good intentions and you're just trying to have a bit of fun but I sadly also agree that it should be closed. It can be very offensive to people, I know you say people who don't like it can just avoid it which is all well and good but even the title can offend some people. In my opinion it's just better to have it closed. You may not agree with that but just thought I'd say so. Thanks for reading this anyway :)

unregistered user
May 5th, 2005, 08:04 AM
Well...Boos is grumpy now...Boos just woke up....Boos just wants to go back to bed but doesnt because he is just....err..cool?


Anyways..since you all are going to start *****ing here I will close it..I have nothing against the Yo momma thing..because it is obviously not pointed at ANYONE.

*sigh*