Concerned?

[Nicoga]

She's 18 or 19. She always tells me what her dad does and all the crap she puts up with... No one likes him, including me. He just REALLY needs to lay off making her life miserable while he tries to spiffy up his own... He acts like she's loose baggage...

[Lt. Trevor]

...If she's 18 she can now press charges, legal age...she can even sue over the stuff she owns should he beg to differ.

[Nicoga]

She's too soft... She won't do that to her own family. She doesn't even stand up for herself over almost anything.

*sigh* This is all frustrating... I'm sorry for doing this. I just... can't stand seeing her like this...

[unregistered user]

Hmm... well if she was under 18 a suggestion would be to call a local department of child protective services. Since she's 18, she should make her dad eat some Miranda rights.

But if she's skittish, perhaps some external help is warranted (all of what I've said would be appropriate, however it's also highly dependant on the demeanor of her dad).

[Nicoga]

I don't know if he's one of the violent types or not, but it still worries me. I just hope she can hurry and get out of there if she's so miserable.

Thanks everyone, at least..

[unregistered user]

Ugh.

Just came back from the hospital about 2 and a half hours ago. How scary is it when a family member has a seizure right in front of you. Don't want to talk much about it; I think I'll take some off-time.

:(

[Daniel]

Originally posted by SoniqueX
Ugh.

Just came back from the hospital about 2 and a half hours ago. How scary is it when a family member has a seizure right in front of you. Don't want to talk much about it; I think I'll take some off-time.

:(

wow, i'm sorry to hear that sonique :(

and take as much time as you need, we'll all still be here for you when we come back :) :hugs:

[la_reina]

Sorry, Sonique :hugs: And like Dan said, we'll be here for ya ;)

[LunarCat]

:( i'm always here for a chat or a hug Sonique! :hugs:

[Nicoga]

Sorry to hear that, Sonique... Um... I guess there's nothing much I can offer, but please don't get worried about posting here. Just.. take as much time as you want, 'kay?

[unregistered user]

Thanks everyone. What I meant by off-time is work time for the most part, but not limiting to the Internet. Because the Internet helps reduce stress, and it helps to keep your mind off real problems that you might be having; however not with outstanding adverse effects.

Again, I appreciate your guys' ♥.


Thanks! :hugs:

-Sonique

[Daniel]

Originally posted by SoniqueX
Thanks everyone. What I meant by off-time is work time for the most part, but not limiting to the Internet. Because the Internet helps reduce stress, and it helps to keep your mind off real problems that you might be having; however not with outstanding adverse effects.

Again, I appreciate your guys' ♥.


Thanks! :hugs:

-Sonique

i do that a lot sonique :D but like i said before, we're all here for you :hugs:

[unregistered user]

*squeezes Dan a HUGE hug* Oh, sorry. I popped out your glass eye. Many apologies.

:p ; ) ...

Thanks again, buddy ... :hugs:

[Daniel]

Originally posted by SoniqueX
*squeezes Dan a HUGE hug* Oh, sorry. I popped out your glass eye. Many apologies.

:p ; ) ...

Thanks again, buddy ... :hugs:

*grabs glass eye* phew, there's a drain there :p

[unregistered user]

:idiot: Funny Guys
Well I feel abit pain in the thoat, like when I cough it give me the pain you know.

[unregistered user]

Something has been concerning me before I left the United States.

My father took me, my younger brother, and my mother to this Mastadon Site. It was very fun, being there with the scenery and such.
I like doing those things.

My mother wanted to stay in the car and sleep, she works alot and it didn't bother me too much. While we were walking around my little brother asks my dad, "Why doesn't mom want to be with us?"

I knew why. She'd worked so much and she didn't really want to go hiking in these mountains.

My dad replied, "She doesn't want to be with us anymore."

If I was my younger brother, that would scare me. It would hurt me as well. I scoffed and shook my head. what a wreck my family is. My parents are spiritually sepreating and my father behaves as if no one loves him.
But we do.

Later on, about an hour later, we were deep on the trail. My little brother is ahead shaking a tree and chanting like some God of the fairies gone wild, and my dad says,
"When I said that mom doesn't want to be with us anymore, I was joking. Ben made a radical statement and I was just replying in the same manner. You know?"

He's always covering his tracks. I know, I've heard and it's mentally sick.

I told my mother in the gas station. Not to be Spite the Fairy but to inform her that there are things going on, and as to why I stay secluded from the family in my room for days at a time.
So when we get home she tells me father. I'm in the loft and I hear it at the end. He says he's angry with me, and she doesn't want him to be. So she says she's tired of being in the middle and she's done talking to people. My dad at first however thoughtit was Ben, but was more shocked when he heard it was me and was angry.

I confronted him, and told him that I heard both his stories. But I also felt in my heart that he was covering tracks in fear of being hated if we told mother. so he wanted to sedate me, make me forget with a soft exit. I didn't. I can't.
He starred at me all through dinner, and mumbled in the kitchen.
I love him, but he is also something I fear. Not in the respectable manner like I fear God. I'm on his hit list so to say haha.

I'm glad I'm away for now. But I don't think I will every be right upstairs.
I wonder if anyone's else parents do this? Or, is it just me alone?

[unregistered user]

Originally posted by Fendi
:idiot: Funny Guys

:p

"I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you. I make you laugh. Whadda mean funny? How am I funny?" - Joe Pesci

[unregistered user]

http://roadtrip.arcticcircle.ca/2003/P7082942.JPG
The light will show you the way. ;)

[unregistered user]

Originally posted by Fendi

The light will show you the way. ;)

Been there, done that. :evilgrin:

Yada yada yada!


@Utora: :hugs: =) !!!

[lion_roog]

Would it make me a bad person if I felt like putting my fist through someone's head right now?...:D

[Simbaspirit]

no, of course not!!! why would you think that??

[Lucy Lioness]

Mmm...I didn't know where to put this, so I'll just put it here.

My Grandad is ill. It was just a cold the other day, but he isn't feeling well anyway - chest problems and stuff. He's in bed and my mum is there waiting for the doctor. I'm going over, but I'm kinda scared it will remind me of my nan and what happened. Her being in bed all the time, and having to wait for the doctor there. Just basically watching her deteriorate. I'm scared the same will happen with my Grandad.

[King Simba]

Aww, Lucy. :hugs: It seems that my Grandad is in the same boat too. :(

We've been receiving phone calls from the hospital all night saying that my Grandad (who is 84) is turning for the worst. I went with my mum and dad to visit him yesterday and he seemed to be pretty ok--well, at least you could get something out of him.

He's been put on a drip and he's had to be put on oxygen since he's not breathing as he should. It started off as a chest infection but now, apparently it has lead to him catching pneumonia.

My dad is very worried and doesn't know if he should go to work or not. He's worried about his dad and what will happen to him. Last time he was in hospital was 4 years ago when he'd just turned 80. He pulled through that time--it was something to do with his smoking addiction so he gave up shortly afterwards, along with my dad.

Now, we're starting to think he's not gonna pull through this time. :( It's just making me feel so bad and worried lately.

Anyway, Lucy. I hope your Grandad pulls through sooner or later. :hugs: I remember when my mum had to be my Grandma's carer for 4 years when she had liver serosis. I never saw the last of her but I'm determined to see the last of my Grandad and I will be going to his funeral when the time comes.

[unregistered user]

Sorry to hear that about your guys' grandparents, it's very scary to see family members bedridden. I wish I could comfort you guys a lot more... Here's wishing for the best.

-Sonkakee :hugs:

[Simbaspirit]

aww, i wish i could make them better for ya. :( thats so sad....*hugs*:hugs:

[King Simba]

*sighs sadly*

Well, I just went downstairs and my dad just told me that he died, at 11am. I'm incredibly upset as I am whenever I lose a close family member. I was sorta seeing this coming, especially after all the phone calls we had the night before last. He was ok the last time I saw him but he was still poorly. He was asking for drinks to be brought to him and was asking for people to plump his cushions up.

I didn't expect to see him go so quickly though, especially since he only went in on Monday. :( Now, that's both my dad's parents gone and now there's only one of my mum's living, so I only have one Grandparent left. He's 80 this year but still seems pretty healthy and fit and I get to see him more regularly than I did my other Grandad--I hope to see him last a few more years yet.

So, to sum things up. I'll be off to his funeral to pay my last respects.

[nathalie]

Really sorry to hear that KS :(

:hugs:

[Azerane]

Lucy I hope your Grandad shows improvement and that he gets well soon :hugs:

And KS, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad passing away, it's never easy when someone dies :hugs:

[unregistered user]

Sorry, KS... :tears: :( :hugs:

[Simbaspirit]

*hugs KS* aww. :tears:

[Tiikeri]

Sorry to hear that KS, losing family members is always really hard :hugs: :(

[Ravincal]

Oh I'm terribly sorry to hear that :(

I lost my brother 1 year ago when he was at a sailing trip, he fell into the water and...

No one saw him again

[King Simba]

:( Thanks guys. :hugs:

My parents went to sort out the funeral arrangements today with the rest of the family. His funeral is a week next Tuesday so I'll be taking a day off school to go and pay my last respects to him.

According to the nurses and doctors at the hospital, he died of septicemia (which is in other words blood poisoning) and pneumonia. In fact, he had been ill for some time in the nursing home before. He was rushed to hospital on emergency call on Sunday. The last I saw of him alive was on Tuesday and to be honest, he actually seemed quite talkative on that day. We all thought he was picking up but of course, we were wrong.

But seriously, thanks guys. *snugs and nuzzles* :hugs:

[This Land]

:tears:, I never really go on this thread, even when somthing has been posted so sorry if this is late :(.

Im So sorry to hear this KS, *Gives a big hug* :hugs:
It is hard Loosing family relations, Anything you want to talk about, even if its just chat to help you feel better, im on MSN most days of the week for you :hugs:


Im sorry to hear about your grandad aswell Lucy, i hope things get better for him and that he makes a good recovery :hugs: If you want to chat to me on msn about anything, I am here for you :hugs:

[Lucy Lioness]

Sorry to hear about your Grandad, KS. My Grandad is ok, luckily it was just a chest infection. And yeah, it is scary how quick it happens sometimes, my Nan deteriorated incredibly fast from when she was told there was nothing the doctors could do for her. She went to a hospice in the afternoon, and she was dead by 11pm that night.

Anyway, looks like I might be going to a funeral as well soon, my boyfriend's great grandmother died the other day.

And yeah, I only have one grandparent left as well, and my Grandad isn't too well, like I have said.

[unregistered user]

I heard this news at the camp, that my one of my fav auntie died at mecca after her completed her Hajj duty. This is quite sad news for me but I'm smilling because I might see her in heaven after she done her duty as a muslim women.

[lion_roog]

Man...sorry to hear about your losses, KS and Fendi.

[unregistered user]

Least she gone to meet her husband though. =)

[la_reina]

I don't believe it...

Just yesterday I saw one of my mom's closest friends, who had just come back from making Hajj, and she looked so happy and healthly, just the she did before she left. To think that she made it back home, while someone else didn't is so...ironic. I'm so sorry to hear that Fendi. But you're right, she died doing a righteous thing, therefore she'll prosper :D

[Crystal]

Awwww King Simba & Fendi,i'm so sorry :tears:.Poor you :hugs::hugs

[Azerane]

Has anyone seen BlueStef around recently? Her last post was on Dec 2nd last year, so almost two months since she posted. I'm just wondering if anybody knows what's happened to her since she's usually around frequently. Hope she's ok.

[lion_roog]

Well..BS's last upload on TLKFAA was the 28th of this month...maybe she's busy with school and all?

[Azerane]

Oh I forgot to check TLKFAA, thanks Roog, and I'd say you're probably. She could have gone away around christmas time as well maybe, but I don't remember her saying anything about it.

[Azerane]

I just wanna give some extra big hugs to Kintaru :hugs: :hugs: I can't imagine how awful things must be for you at the moment, and I know there's not much I can do, but just know that I am here for ya, and I always will be. *hugs tight* love you

[Utora]

I feel like crap. :tears:

Like, not the crapy food you eat, like doggeh crap.

It's like this. I don't have an outside life, other than Kove.
I don't go out and hang with 'friends' or 'neighbours' or whatever. I'm homeschooled, and basicly live in the home 24/7. Well being at home allows me to have plently of time to be me. Recently, or maybe like, 5 months ago, I started to really involve myself in WW2. Then it got bigger, because i could teach myself, at my own pace, in my own home, you know, like a hobby. I became a wee bit more interested with the Germans. Then, I became interested in the Russians. Either way , I played the video games, did reports, collected items, and even now it's one of my most craziest passions. I'm a freak, yeah i know.

Well, being in the home, I got to do these things and be me. I even had a Soviet hat that I still wear, until today.

I went ahead and started learning the languages; Russian and German. Also, they're both my backgrounds so it was very intriuging to me.
In his anger my brother lashed out and in front of many called me a Nazi. :disagree:

Now, they talk. About me, and my 'issues' . When I'm with them, they engage me in a conversation about WW2, but when I'm gone I can hear them, discussing my 'problems' and the like. For a while I just ignored em'. I knew I wasn't a Nazi. Then I really felt strange. Even if I knew that, they didn't think the same. Today my brother in law, the one who a while ago called me a Nazi, and my dad were talking about me and how "I'll show her what it means. She doesn't know."

My home is my life. And now they push away from me something I've devoted a hoard of time to, and still do. My mom too ridicules me.
I donno why I post here, maybe yalls'll ridicule me too, and then I'll really know I got problemos. I just ask for prayers, that I'll find peace and quiet, in my own home. and for the Love of God they'll understand me some time soon.

Next stop ; mental home. :cheese: Then again, I always got my bedroom. so I can act like I'm happy, and I've dropped my fettish and then when I'm in my room, go back to reading and living....just like my life used to be...hidden and shut down. Ahh well...... ((zips into lamp and sits with ps2 controller))

:evilgrin:

[Kovu The Lion]

awws... *Hugs Tory tighty and pulls her away from her family* Stupid .. Antagonists..

What I don't see is how you're parents can treat you like that. You would think if you're brother said something like that ESPECIALLY if your family is christianized (Christians or something) Wouldn't they find the word "nazi" not something to joke about and actually put the kid on some kind of punishment.. Geez.. My parents HATE the word Nazi, and if anyone uses it near them they give this hatred glare and its like "OMG you got the glare!" And stuff like that..

Heres what you say to you're brother if he calls you a -Nazi- Once more. "Twerp" Or something :lol: ^^. What I find to work the most is to just ignore them and show no emotions towards them (Especially anger) if they try to put you down or call you a name. Because over time they will realize that them calling you or doign that certain thing to you is doing nothing to you and they will get bored of it. And eventually stop and B-I-N-G-O Problem solved ^^ IT works a lot for me IRL in my public school since all kids can think about is ways to put me down >> << ><...

But heres to your happy future hopefully Utora *Throws everyone a round of the beers and what not* But yes.. I hope your brother and your family stop doign this.. Obscene stuff to you, and though (not to sound mean I face it to) Here most girls are always away from home (either doing drugs or some stupid stuff..) And most guys do to. But not me so I find us very much the same (no wonder we are together :love: ) And I am mostly on the computer 24/7 because thats all I can do ;____; Parents don't trust me to leave the house since all this stuff has been happening lately here but this isn't about me, its more about you, I think maybe you could probably go outside around your neighborhood and possibly look for kids your own age and just.. Stand and hang out or something and meet people xD Just a suggestion but Yeah ^^

I hope your life starts to turn around for you Utora, when and if at all possible that I do get down to see you, You won't ever feel a bit of loneliness, and your brother will get the taste knocked out of his mouth if I hear the word nazi or any word thrown at you thats offensive.. :P

Love you Utora :hugs:

~KTL~

[unregistered user]

What happened to Kintaru, Azzy? O_o ????

Utora, KTL: :hugs: !

[unregistered user]

I'm a bit concerned about LunarCat. Last DA journal entry would depict some stress that she's going through. I'm hoping it isn't nothing serious, but I will get in touch with her... will give a phone call if needed....

:hugs:

[Azerane]

I hope everything ok Lunar, hugs to you :hugs: :hugs:

[King Simba]

Last time I saw Lunar online was last night I think. :thinks: Still though, I hope she's ok. I haven't really heard from her for a while as it is. :hugs: So yeah, hugs to her. She's a good friend.

[Kovu The Lion]

I've been talking to LunarCat a lot recently and she seemed Okay, though she did have some down problems about her life, sadly :(

but many hugs :hugs: and kisses *KISSES!!!!* To you LunarCat, hope you start feeling better! ^^

And I just talked to her not.. 10 mins ago :P

~KTL~

[Simbaspirit]

i know how you feel Utora, online friends 0and more than friendfs:p) do help alot though, because they like/love you for you.

ill be praying for you all! :hugs:

Simbaspirit

[Sombolia]

Geez. There are several people at my school I thought I hated, but right now, I've never appreciated them more. I hate to say it, but my best friend would be lost without them (most likely depressed and the on the way to anorexia..). Christ, I'm worried sick about her.

Also, this quote can sum up my feelings at the moment: "I'm not going to say anything, because no one believes me when I do."

[Simbaspirit]

i'll believe you

[Tiikeri]

I might have cancer :(

[Azerane]

Tiikeri that's awful... I take it you've been to a doctor maybe? If not please get checked out, because it might not be. I hope it's not, because that would be awful. :hugs:

[Tiikeri]

Yeah I've been to a doctor. I've been having severe chest pains for well over a year, and sometimes my chest muscles have spasms and seize up, so I can't breathe, and if it goes on for longer than I can hold my breath for then I suffocate and could easily die from it. So when I went to the hospital today (I had a bad one this morning btw) they said that it was a possibility that the muscle cells might be cancerous. So in the mean time I'm worrying myself stupid until the test results are in :tears:

[Lucy Lioness]

That's awful Tiikeri. :alone: I really hope it isn't cancer. When do the test results come back?

[Azerane]

So sorry to hear all that Tiikeri... I hope the results are for the better. Negative for cancer. Try and stay strong. :hugs:

[Utora]

Originally posted by Tiikeri
Yeah I've been to a doctor. I've been having severe chest pains for well over a year, and sometimes my chest muscles have spasms and seize up, so I can't breathe, and if it goes on for longer than I can hold my breath for then I suffocate and could easily die from it. So when I went to the hospital today (I had a bad one this morning btw) they said that it was a possibility that the muscle cells might be cancerous. So in the mean time I'm worrying myself stupid until the test results are in :tears:


Wow. I've never expieirenced it, but I know what it's like to be alone. I want to let you know, you're not alone in the stuggle for hope.

:hugs:

My prayers are for you TikiMan. :cheese: If you don't mind the 'new name' :lol:
Member' they said possibly. And in the end, if it is what is feared, there is always hope. I have faith in you bud. :browlift:

[Simbaspirit]

ill be praying:hugs: i hate waiting for cancer results....hey, did you get a CT scan? those machines creep me out....:cringe:

i hope everything goes well, Tikiman*hugs*

[Sombolia]

As if there hasn't been enough crap going on lately, there was all kinds of yelling and slamming of doors coming from Christine's house last night. I dunno if she went to school today (I didn't), and I'm worried sick about her. I was going to text her during lunch at school to see if she was okay, but sometimes the messages get sent late, and I didn't want her to get in trouble with her phone beeping in class. She's not gonna be home for about another hour, so.. :|

ETA: After speaking to KTL a bit in the Lea chat, I think I'm going to throw up.

Please be okay, please be okay..

[Simbaspirit]

oh no....is Christine a good friend of something? that really sucks....i'll be praying...:(:tears:

[Sombolia]

Originally posted by Simbaspirit
oh no....is Christine a good friend of something? that really sucks....i'll be praying...:(:tears:

Thank you. :hugs: Christine's my best friend, she means the world to me. :eww:

[Simbaspirit]

oohno....:tears:

[Kovu The Lion]

This is for Pnt, Right now he's not having the best time in the world right now thanks to a few things, and I feel I may have done something to cause it, But know Pnt you are not alone in your problems buddy :hugs: , Please do start feeling better about yourself, Your presence, and speeches are always great to be around/see ;) Think higher than what you are right now..

And in due time, I hope things start looking up for you pal more hugs to ya! :hugs: ^^


~KTL~

[lion_roog]

Man, I'll be praying for you, Tiikeri, dude.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Sombolia...as someone who was never physically abused, yet lived in an abusive inviroment for years...I can imagine some of the stuff she could be seeing...and hopefully herself, and no one else is getting abused.

Man, Pnt, dude...I hope you start feeling better...work on some of that kick *** art you do.

[Simbaspirit]

hope you feel like yourself soon, pnt...:hugs:*hugs*

[lion_roog]

Man, on Wednsday I wanted to beat the s*** out of my Mom's boyfriend...but i was at school and the police got to him first...I ain't a kid no more...If you touch my Mom, I'm going to f*** you up...


--Edited by Azerane for swear words.--

[Simbaspirit]

:(*hugs*man, thats gotta be so hard to live through......:tears:

[Tiikeri]

Test results, positive :tears: I'm gonna be put on treatment though which should make my life a little longer, because without it I'd probably die before I'm 40.

[Lucy Lioness]

Oh my God. :alone: I don't know what to say, Tiikeri. I'm so sorry.

[Azerane]

Originally posted by Tiikeri
Test results, positive :tears: I'm gonna be put on treatment though which should make my life a little longer, because without it I'd probably die before I'm 40.

I've spoken to you a little bit about this already and yet I still can't think of what to say that might help ease this for you, all I can offer you is :hugs: But at least, it's not some form of cancer that will only take one or two years, but still... all the best with the treatment :hugs:

[Simbaspirit]

:tears: ill be praying for you every night. i hope you get better *hugs*

[Kovu The Lion]

awws xX.. Damn.. Xx *is speechless but not really* Tikerii dude, you can make it through this.. Just have hope buddy!

*hugs the tiger vury tightly* =3

[Utora]

Tiki man, my church is praying for you, as is my family. I've seen countless people saved by the power of faith and prayer, even in cancer. A man I knew to this day overcame brain cancer and is living because he fought the fight. I'm with you, every step of the way in mind, spirit, faith, hope and prayer. God bless you, and may you live twice 40 by His power. :hugs:

[Kovu The Lion]

mmkay might as well spit it out seeing half the forums knows already.

This past weekend I got in a fight on friday about some friends online with my step father, and well got hit upside the head with a baseball bat, (also why I wasnt online all day friday - sunday), I was in the hospital from having a concussion whilst being hit and I was said to possibly be affected by Amnesia, and yays. I was -___- I forgot totally my school experiences, I can hardly even do the Geometry stuff I learned, and my IRC Scripting has gone down the pit, Though I remember a few simple things. And as for remembering who people are. I have naught the slightest clue who they are until I stare at the name for hours on end.

My family isn't what you would call, The greatest in the world. My mom, brother and I, dearly hate and wish to leave my step father because of his arrogance and hatred to everyone. But theres one problem, We are in a financial hole, my mother and I (Plus brother) Rely heavily upon his income, and if he were to walk out on us, we'd be up **** creek (Screwed in life). I'd have to end up dropping out of high school to pay for the family and my mom to work again which she is doing now and is hard enough being an asthmatic and a cancer surviver from Chemotherapy which has weakened her body EXTENTLY.

One thing I am worried now, is if my step dad will leave us, He has been threatening it on and off and i'm sick and tired of him abusing me and my mother, my mom puts on fake smiles, laughs when he makes a joke even if its rude, and puts up with him 24/7. He treats us like CRAP. and we have NO CHOICE but to sit here and endure it. I want OUT I want him TO LEAVE but I have no choice for him to stay.. We've broke down many a times because of him and still he doesnt care, if I want to continue my career in computer programming, which is unlikely now thanks to that amnesia crap, I would have to have his financial support and I really really want to succeed in life, to show all the bullies and popular kids in school i am /not/ a freaking retard.

But the most I am worried about, is my mother, and lately. I havnt been caring a lot about myself and my health, I havnt slept peacefully and right for weeks, and i havnt eaten correctly since.. God knows how long.. And it seems I am screwing up everyones life by the actions I make, For when I talk, I have to have the last word, and it gets me in so much trouble and it makes everyone scream and yell when i am in an argument and its quite annoying being grounded all the freaking time cause I cant keep my mouth shut, and I hate it.. I've thought continues times of just ending it all and not worrying about it, yes suicide, But I end up not doing it because i cant degrade myself to do something such as that, I have to many friends that care and worry for me a lot. But most of all I feel as if I need help, help from someone but i don't know who to go to. I find it really hard to express my feelings to others for some odd reason.. I can't go to psychologists(or whatever) because I can't tlel him the truth, its to embarassing and degrading to say I have no friends, i have no life, and i'm on the computer 24/7 talking to people i have no clue who are, and that i like the lion king at age 15. The last one i went to laughed for like.. 20 minutes before I walked out of there.

I have no freaking clue why I am even typing this up for some reason, Wait nevermind, Now i'm talking to myself..


Anyways just wanted you guys to know why I havnt been on lately.. Or havnt talked to you pastly... Yeah,

~KTL~

[LunarCat]

Originally posted by Sonkakee
I'm a bit concerned about LunarCat. Last DA journal entry would depict some stress that she's going through. I'm hoping it isn't nothing serious, but I will get in touch with her... will give a phone call if needed....

:hugs:

awwws thanks for the concern guys :hugs:

but as you can see, all is well. And there's never need for concern on my behalf. I lead a good life, with of course the occasional dips and downs. :hugs: much love!


I'm so sorry to hear of everyone's losses, and troubles. My deepest sympathies and heartfelt prayers. :hugs:


Edit: KTL-i suggest reading over that exact post and thinking hard. Think of who you want to help, and how they should. What you need. I've told you once and i'll tell you again, you need to get a sufficient amount of rest. Your body can't function without it.
Second, I suggest searching for 'an escape', as i call it. Something in which you can express your feelings, whether it be talking about it, drawing, writing, even just thinking to give you a start. Something that can draw you away from everyday life and turn that frown upside down.
I'm always here to talk, you know that.

[Utora]

Originally posted by Kovu The Lion
mmkay might as well spit it out seeing half the forums knows already.

This past weekend I got in a fight on friday about some friends online with my step father, and well got hit upside the head with a baseball bat, (also why I wasnt online all day friday - sunday), I was in the hospital from having a concussion whilst being hit and I was said to possibly be affected by Amnesia, and yays. I was -___- I forgot totally my school experiences, I can hardly even do the Geometry stuff I learned, and my IRC Scripting has gone down the pit, Though I remember a few simple things. And as for remembering who people are. I have naught the slightest clue who they are until I stare at the name for hours on end.

My family isn't what you would call, The greatest in the world. My mom, brother and I, dearly hate and wish to leave my step father because of his arrogance and hatred to everyone. But theres one problem, We are in a financial hole, my mother and I (Plus brother) Rely heavily upon his income, and if he were to walk out on us, we'd be up **** creek (Screwed in life). I'd have to end up dropping out of high school to pay for the family and my mom to work again which she is doing now and is hard enough being an asthmatic and a cancer surviver from Chemotherapy which has weakened her body EXTENTLY.

One thing I am worried now, is if my step dad will leave us, He has been threatening it on and off and i'm sick and tired of him abusing me and my mother, my mom puts on fake smiles, laughs when he makes a joke even if its rude, and puts up with him 24/7. He treats us like CRAP. and we have NO CHOICE but to sit here and endure it. I want OUT I want him TO LEAVE but I have no choice for him to stay.. We've broke down many a times because of him and still he doesnt care, if I want to continue my career in computer programming, which is unlikely now thanks to that amnesia crap, I would have to have his financial support and I really really want to succeed in life, to show all the bullies and popular kids in school i am /not/ a freaking retard.

But the most I am worried about, is my mother, and lately. I havnt been caring a lot about myself and my health, I havnt slept peacefully and right for weeks, and i havnt eaten correctly since.. God knows how long.. And it seems I am screwing up everyones life by the actions I make, For when I talk, I have to have the last word, and it gets me in so much trouble and it makes everyone scream and yell when i am in an argument and its quite annoying being grounded all the freaking time cause I cant keep my mouth shut, and I hate it.. I've thought continues times of just ending it all and not worrying about it, yes suicide, But I end up not doing it because i cant degrade myself to do something such as that, I have to many friends that care and worry for me a lot. But most of all I feel as if I need help, help from someone but i don't know who to go to. I find it really hard to express my feelings to others for some odd reason.. I can't go to psychologists(or whatever) because I can't tlel him the truth, its to embarassing and degrading to say I have no friends, i have no life, and i'm on the computer 24/7 talking to people i have no clue who are, and that i like the lion king at age 15. The last one i went to laughed for like.. 20 minutes before I walked out of there.

I have no freaking clue why I am even typing this up for some reason, Wait nevermind, Now i'm talking to myself..


Anyways just wanted you guys to know why I havnt been on lately.. Or havnt talked to you pastly... Yeah,

~KTL~

Don't ever comit suicide. You're right soldier, there are people who care. I being one of them. :love:
We've talked and you know how I feel on some parts.
I cry to hear the abuse you recieve, and the cause...bitte ich bin krank.
You're father angers me. Not with a rambling of anger, for no apparent reason, but with a passionate anger. Not reallyat him though. It is like me and my father. I hate the part of him that's angry, but Ilove him for he's my father, for he brought me life and protection. I can see your father bails out in some of those areas. Social workers will not help, I've had em' here, and they act like they're snowblind in the desert. They'll lock your father up, put you in a home because finacialy you can't work it out, and chances are your mum would go to jail for not being able to barf up the money. I wish I could take you in, your entire family. Lie in our furished, wellcared for basement, and eat with us on taco night specials. :noogie:

But it's all a fake dream. My mom isn't too thrilled with what's going on between you and me, but she respects my life and says it's my decisions right now, as long as it's beneath their boundries. I don't think you moving in would be on the list. I'm praying, thinking, living it all for you now. If he ever beats you again, I'm coming out there. Not as a joke either, I'll take the freaking ww2 bike, I have the money in bday savings, I have the street smarts, I'll hike my *** if I have too. Sad but neccesary none the less. If we keep sitting, you'll end up dying at this rate. And while I walk the Earth, that's not going to be happening.

Ich liebe dich, and never give up the fight Kove. If you ever find yourself lost, or alone, go to God, and then to me. :hugs:

I want to sa so much more but for some reason, I can't find the words. :tears:

[Simbaspirit]

Originally posted by Utora
It is like me and my father. I hate the part of him that's angry, but Ilove him for he's my father, for he brought me life and protection.

that brought me to tears, Utora. thank you so much for saying that, i believe that has made a difference in my ilfe. thank you. *hugs and cries*

KTL, i wish there was some way i could help. you can talk to me anytime, ill be praying. know that God loves you, and stay with us. I hope you will get out of this mess soon. *hugs*

[Sombolia]

KTL, if you commit suicide, I'll kill you.

....

But seriously. Try not to let him get to you, you're better than him. I.. didn't know about the whole concussion thing, so. If it's only amnesia, it's very likely that you'll get your memory back soon, so don't worry about that.

:hugs:

[Nicoga]

Why am I even posting here again? Spamming up a board about my problems when everyone else has something even worse than I do. Death threats, suicide, family troubles, and what not. Makes me feel like my problems are petty and aren't even worthy to be mentioned. But, with these tears and the pain I feel, I have to at least say something to make me feel like I am worth even a notice...

To anyone who cares to even read this, my family is not abusive. My school is not some trigger-happy group of crazed students. My life isn't poor or debt-ridden or whatever. But I do know that I have been utterly alone ever since I was about 12 or 13. Every day, I would go to school or look out my house window and think, "God, when will you send me someone to be with? Someone to talk to or have fun with?" I'm not close to my parents. I'm even further apart from my mom than one would want to be. No kids my age live near me, nor do any of the people at school even care to give me a glance when I try to smile and be nice. I even went so far as to cater to their needs just so they would notice me. I'd give away my lunch, I'd lend them money, I'd do ANYTHING.

My worst mistake was letting my "friends" manipulate me. The day we all met, I thought "Finally! I have people that are like me!" I thought I had "friends". Well, they were nothing but little devil spawns. I was the butt of all the jokes and insults, they talked behind my back, they took things from me when they wanted them, they verbally abused me, and they stole any of my ideas or artwork or writings that they liked. And I LET THEM, simply because I was so desperate for friends. That pretty much killed me all through middle school and my freshman year of high school.

Now that I've finally torn away from them, I've found that most people LIKED their little leader. And since their "leader" is angry that I won't bend down and kiss her precious feet, her vast amount of friends are shunning me. She's rich, she's popular, and she gets her way, no matter what. I find myself trying harder and harder to be nice, smile, talk to people, try to be friendly and be a friend, but no. I don't get anything in return but being ignored, insulted, or pushed away. People don't want me as a friend because they already have friends. There's no room for me. And here I am, almost a senior, and I STILL have no good memories of laughter or fun to look back on these pathetic years.

Even online, it's the same thing. Chat rooms, AIM, doesn't matter. People end up being so mean to me or ignore me. I go to forums, and it's the same thing. Even here, at Lea, where I thought I'd find some people to at LEAST talk to, I find myself summarily ignored. I tried PMing a few people, didn't get but one reply before they go silent. My posts are mostly ignored. And seeing these mentions of people talking to each other and all the popularity polls and whatnot, I am only reminded time and again just how deprived I am. And yes, I AM jealous of how people have unlimited friends, but don't seem to want to include me, no matter how nice I try to be.

Now, yes, I know you're probably thinking I'm selfish, lieing, or whatnot. But I will tell you this: I am sick of being so alone and trying so hard and praying for so long just to end up with nothing. I myself have thought about suicide, but my more logical mindset slapped me out of it. No, I didn't have "friends" or "family" to tell me not to do it. It was ME who did it. I had no one to turn to ANYWAY.

Call this a rant, call this a selfish act for attention, call it whatever you want... But I can't stand keeping these emotions bottled up inside any longer. I'm tired of being the quiet one in the corner who is never noticed. I've been thinking for a while about my place here at Lea, anyway. If I should just leave without telling anyone. No one would notice anyway... They have enough friends, and they don't bother to know me anyway. I've already been embarressed here, and the rising amount of attacks against opinions is disturbing as it is. At this point, I don't care if I get blocked or suspended or whatever... I might as well high-tail it out of here before I make an *** out of myself anyway...

[Kovu The Lion]

Thanks guys for the comments, I'm fine just trust me on what I say.

:)

~~

Nicoga, I can understand what you are going through, and its tough. I basically do the exact same thing :\ It gets pretty annoying having to go to school, come home... Sit down, and do nothing all day when you know that there are kids you're own age out there somewhere having more fun than you are right now. But one thing you should try to learn is the fact that you are being /tested/ I dont know if you are a christian or not but if you are you might find some sense in this then. God put us all here on earth for a certain reason, and for a purpose in life, and right now he is testing you right now to see whether or not you can with stand and up hold this purpose he has given you. My parents and you'res to probably say this "These are the best years of you're life, get out there, make friends, and have fun!", Because thats what mine tell me all the time. My parents think finding and making friends in my life the way i am, is a sentch, something that can be done in a matter of seconds when it is not.

Here I want you to add this address to your MSN, Fatcatgoeswest@hotmail.com

or this address to your Yahoo, Goten1702

or this address to your AIM, The Lion Kovu

I can offer you one of the best friendships you probably will ever have, and yeah :) Though sadly i am going to admit what you said here.


. No one would notice anyway...

I am sadly going to say, I wouldn't notice you left. Because i seriously never knew you were even here...

I am also sorry that i'm relating myself to you when you are obviously in a worse predicament than me, but I've heard relating certain issues back to other things can sometimes be useful when trying to make a point so I do it a lot.. But if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to, Add those names, and I'm on basically 24/7 :) :D

Heres some ways to make some friends..

RolePlay in RP's here, I met half my friends in Lea from that,
Go to active members who are here normally and add them to your IM list and get to know them better, Thats also what I did ;)

just because a member doesnt liven up to you at that moment, doesnt mean they wont ever, because making a bond between friends takes time to build, that relationship of trust just doesnt.. Appear, you have to earn it :)

And iwth that Nicoga, I wish the best of luck to you :hugs:

~KTL~

[Simbaspirit]

i really enjoy talking with you, Nicoga! and i would definatly notice if you left... add me to MSN

simbaspirit@hotmail.com

wait a sec. you dont have MSN :thinks:

I KNOW!!!! RADIO BRAIN WAVES!!!!! *taps radio brainwaves mic* hello?? is this thing on?? can you HEAR ME??

[lion_roog]

Sorry to hear that, KTL...did they file charges against your step-dad? It may seem like y'all can't do it...but maybe you can live without your step-father...with relatives or something...or you can get food stamps or something and you mom can go on disability. If they're married, your Mom can also be entitled to stuff in the divorce.

Nicoga, I wouldn't try to make friends that way...you wont like the friends you will attract, as I see you have found out the hard way. I find that the best way to make a friend is to start a conversation with them over a similar interest. The being nice and giving stuff away type of stuff will only lose you respect in their eyes...to them, you're just a push over. You want friends who like you for you, not becuase you give them your lunch.

[Nicoga]

Sadly, I have tried doing those tactics, Kovu. Many of the PMs I've sent out were never replied to. Many members here don't have AIM. Most use MSN, and if they do have AIM, I either don't see the name or it's "hidden". And I'm in about three or four RPGs, but either the Mod has YET, after about three months, to give me the go-ahead in [despite PMings and postings] or the RPG has even yet to begin, and there's no one else supporting.

And I'm sad to announce that if God did give me a test to see if I'm up for something, I probably failed. Makes me wonder if this is my punishment for failing whatever test it was. I am a Christian, but not as a faithful one as many people here I've seen.

And after so many times to being ignored and whatnot, I'm too shy/untrusting to PM or AIM anybody new. This place seems pretty tight-nit and centered around the popular members, so I'm suspecting most people are like the ones I've already seen. And I'm taking the precaution to not even attempt it because it just hurts me more when they do it over again.

And yes, I realized that people just use me when I try to cater to them. It's in my nature to make other people happy, not myself. But if I ever do stand up for myself, I'm slapped back down because it's not "permitted". I've tried just being nice and friendly, and that doesn't even work. People are too busy with their groups and hang-outs to care to even talk to me.

On a last note, I do not want to force someone to talk to me. If you truely do not care if you talk to me or not, and you're just forcing yourself to do it, then I will not answer you. The thing I've learned to hate most is false friends.

[Azerane]

Nicoga don't feel like you're ignored, don't feel like that at all. I may not know you at all, but I simply can't ignore your posts... why? Because of that wicked avatar of yours! Hehe, it may seem like a stupid reason but I see that avatar of yours and I have to read your posts... *turns into a gryphon/griffin* Although you may not think it... there are people on this forum who notice you, and care about you, it can take quite a while to get to know people well though *clacks beak and bobs head up and down* hehe...It took me a few months before I really knew anybody here. Though I'll admit it would be easier to get to know people if you had an IM service... though that can't be helped, so e-mailing/pm'ing it is. *turns back into a lioness* I would hate to see you leave Lea just because you feel like you're being ignored. If you ever feel the need e-mail/pm me... or better yet, I'll pm you :) Don't know what else to say at the moment.... hmm... :hugs:

[Kovu The Lion]

Hmm if thats what you think I'm doing, then that is totally not the answer er umm thing that I want to do ^^ *Is the one who wuvs to make friends x3...* So I'll find out your AIM in about 3 seconds.. and Start talking whenever you get on! And if you don't, I will cry, and you will not like it when I cry :(...

:D

~KTL~

[Nicoga]

I'm just saying that people have "forced" themselves to talk to me, when they really didn't care how I felt or not. I guess they do it for karma points or something, or to look good in front of others. Just a simple "hi", "hey", "Cool. *walks off*" thing. Ugh... Annoying...

[Nephilim]

Oh, worry not Nicoga; most people here hate me, but that sure as Hell doesn't mean I'm gonna bowl out at anytime, and stop spamming and stalking people.

Drop me a line sometime if you'd like. My bark is worse than my bite, or some shizzle.

[Kovu The Lion]

Hmm I'm not going to say I havn't forced myself to talk to some people,

People that just add me for a reason to get something out of me, Is the ones I dun like.

However, This is not the case. I'd really like to talk to you :( Because I havn't got a lot of people on AIM ;) Give me a reason to keep it ^^ And if you are one of my friends, then you would know. - I don't shut up - ;D

[unregistered user]

Yes, Nephilim is a very nice someone to talk too off-board. :p (No, really she is = ).

@Nicoga: Just by reading your last few posts on this thread, I would say, you were bottling things up - and you just splurged it all out. I believe some of the things you've said you don't quite understand, fully. Let me skip ahead a bit... I can see you want someone to really talk to a bit, and it is clear you don't wanna force your intentions on someone to do so, am I right? I'm sure you'll notice that just about anyone here will listen to what you'd have to say, it's just the way of conveying the means, if it were to fall upon deaf ears. We're all here to help one another, and the way that you feel is very natural.

Retrograding to the previous, "I believe some of the things you've said you don't quite understand," I could say you have some displaced anger. You feel like the one left all alone, and you have had patterned advances with those feelings. Hell, I'm sure a lot of us felt that way one time or another. But hardships like those can be ruled-out by friends like us. As far as making new friends would go... "You'll catch more bees with honey than with vinegar." The people who have turned you away, don't treat everyone like that as a whole - instead find out who are the real McCoys are and I'm positive you'll be content. Nicoga, I believe you have already found us, we were under your nose the whole time; we as well as you, just the same, we want your friendship and not the heartache.

=^^= . . .

:hugs: =)

[Nicoga]

I've been told time and again to be nice to people and they will be nice to you. And I've honestly tried to be nice to everyone I met, even those who are mean to me. But it is sad to say that that saying is not always true. People can and sometimes will be cruel right back to you if you're trying to be nice.

And it just makes me wonder... if you say people don't treat everyone like they treated me, then why treat me badly and not someone else? I try my best not to make anyone mad. I hate it when someone is mad at me. But just deciding "hey! I'll ignore this person just because I want to!" just doesn't make any sense to me.

My anger may seem misplaced, but I am truely sick of seeing people treated improperly, not just me. Little rings of friends are too tight these days that no one can join in, and I've seen such a "ring" displayed here. Everyone who's ever "popular" are in this ring, and others are cast aside. At least, that is how I'm seeing it from the posts and reactions I've seen. If people are wanting this "friendship" you're talking about, then why have none replied or tried contacting me? It doesn't make sense.

Flame me if you want, but this is how I truely feel, and I'm not going to lie about it and say it's all right for how I've been treated here and in other places. Lieing won't get me or anyone else anywhere.

[unregistered user]

Let me get this straight... you are seeing popularity "rings" among Pride Members because of their posts and to its responses? Well... actually such things do take place and you are correct, partially. But this shouldn't let you dictate a negative influence towards everyone. However, I do see where you'd feel confined at. Things like these cannot be controlled, and this is the way things are. Why haven't people contacted you ? I have no idea. I only speak for people at large, and nothing more. People being mean ? Well... that's just life. If you're nice to someone and they don't give you the same respect back, hey who's the better person, hmm?

It all comes down to this Nicoga, you are a bit displaced, and you have every right to be, attentively; we care and you do too, and I believe that's a firm basis of friendship ....

=)

[Simbaspirit]

why not sogn up for a hotmail account? its free:D

[Utora]

I want my father. I need my father. And I can't get him. It'll be too late and I hate myself and wish to God that it will all be over soon. It has to b so difficult to share time with someone you love, you're only friend. And to be harassed, attacked for it all hurts more. I'll always be alone. I've never had a true friend, never had someone that inside I really felt was there. I want to die if anything. I need to. :(

They don't have to suffer me.

[unregistered user]

Well today is 40th day since my teacher death at NS.

12-02-06 around 0200.
He Died Near Bandar Kemaman, Chukai Terengganu. 25km from the camp, he's involved in Car Accident. We(Trainees and Teacher) accept his death as a tragic and we are all satisfied of god choice and return to our loved one.

[la_reina]

May he rest in peace.

[Kovu The Lion]

well. I come back after 3 days, bearing worst news possible in my case. Prepare for a long, crappy post.

On Sunday, March 20th I think, idk maybe it was the 19th. I was told my cat, the last one I had (Friskey died about 4 months ago) Now Tabanasi, (Not tabansi -.-) had "ran away" from the house. Now I expected nonetheless, because our cats always wander away from the house from time to time, and usually come back after about an hour or two. But this was not the case. I sat on the front porch calling his name for about.. 5 and a half hours, parents wanted me inside at around 10 pm because it was about 48 degrees Farenheit. and I was already blue as the sky on a sunny day. But besides that, That night I had went up to my parents room on the third floor, and hid by the stairs because they were conversing with one another.. And believe it or not. it was about how they were to tell me what had happened to Tabanasi. All I wanted to do, was to go up and ask to stay up for about 10 more minutes to pack my school stuff. Since I had left my backpack upstairs to use on the desktop since they took my laptop away from me after a humungous argument about school, and other IRL events I was going through that they had no clue about since I wouldn't tell them. I was shocked, realizing after my stepdad had said he was "eaten alive" basically by a stray dog that wandered into our neighborhood. They had already buried what had remained of him in the side of the house, (Yard whatever) and I really didn't care to check anything out about the yard, unless I was about to mow it or something.. But this was not the case. I ran to my room, and fell asleep crying, to wake up to them telling me that cat was gone, my 8 year old cat I had had since I was 7 years old, the cat I recieved on my birthday. The one that slept with me every night of my life, had died. This was monday that I was told this, a day I was supposed to go to my public school, but I fought with my parents, and they got pissed off at me majorly. Because I told them I wasn't going to school, and I wasn't going to go anywhere. Basically I had good reasons to not want to go to school, but I never tell my parents anything that goes on with my life at school, or anything. Hell they dont even know i'm bi, Ffs they know nothing about me o.O; But still, I never told them and they never saw the truth in me, the truth being this:

Everyday that I went to school, I was greeted by kids holding the front door shut, mainly seniors and sophmores that hated me majorly. Every day I was thrown around, I'd open my locker sometimes, and get it slammed shut by some passing guy, sometimes ones that I know, some that I don't that were just told to do it cause it would be funny to "Pick on the little guy" or some stupid excuse. In class, I was constantly poked fun at, mostly because I didn't do drugs, I didn't smoke, I didn't wear cool clothes, I didn't drink, I didn't have sex every monday, I never partied, and I had no friends. The biggest reason, being I was bisexual. I put up with this for about.. 8 years of my life, and I had never told anyone about my problems, just day by day would go by with me going to school and the same routine happening to me. And believe me its not a fun thing to experience. I was told the schools I went to were a positive learning environment, and full of friendly people. I had seen different than what I was told. Because the kids were not positive to me at all..

Back to the point, on monday morning my parents yelled at me, and told me "Fine be a reject, and a person that never will succeed, see if I care" and slammed the door on me, I was still in my bed, wrapped up, crying to myself as they took my little brother to school. I woke up at around 6, got the "glare" if some know it, by my parents, ate my dinner silently, and went back to my bed room and tried to fall asleep but couldn't and hell that was the only thing I could do, until I grabbed a hold of my cell phone. And started to talk to Prince_Kivoru via text messages. I had some fun in that, for about 4 hours or more just talking away with my online bro, who's probably one of the nicest persons I have ever met in my entire life.. And when my parents walked in my room and saw me using my cell phone to "communicate" outside of the house with people I wasn't supposed to be talking with, aka People I don't know being on my cell phone, because my parents think if I meet or know someone online they are just someone wanting to find me and rape, or kill me. My parents are just way to overprotective, one of the reasons I took weight training to increase my muscularity, so I could prove I could take care of myself, but obviously... It didn't help :/ They took the cell phone away from me, scoured at me for about 30 minutes with a huge lecture about how I was to never talk to that person again (Kivoru) and how much they were dissapointed in me for breaking yet another rule by them. And by this time, I was nearly to the point of breaking down, once again like I had done about 3 months ago when my parents almost decided to break up because of me. 8 years had built up, of taking this kind of crap, and my head just couldn't hold it anymore. It was just killing me from the inside out, my heart was about to explode. I couldn't talk to the ones I loved, and it was tearing me apart slowly, but surely.. it was getting the job done, Every night I dreamt about the ones I loved, mostly LC, Because she's who I am, what I am, and is everything about me, I can't stop thinking about her for some odd reason. If I'm breathing, you better know I'm thinking of her. And everytime I thought about her, it made me even worse feeling because I couldn't have a conversation with her, and it only made me long for her more, and made me realize, how badly I need her in my life. Tuesday came, I did the same thing, got yelled at again for being the most pathetic person to ever walk the face of the earth, that I wouldn't ever be accepted into the crowd because I give up way to easily.. And once again.. I let it slide, not telling my parents anything about why I didn't want to go to school, what was going on at school and why I needed to get OUT of school. After this, my head was starting to pain so much it was causing me to black out momentarily sometimes, and my parents noticed this at the table at dinner that night, A tear fell down my eye that I had let slide on accident, and the ocassional "whats wrong baby.." came out of my mothers mouth, and I had no response, I just continued eating, and finished.. walked back to my room and fell asleep, crying once again. This time I must have been crying in my sleep still because I woke up with a wet pillow, and my mother at my side, at 9 am. 2 hours after the begining of the school day. I didn't know what was going on. Or what had happened, all I knew was my mother was wrapped up around me holding me tightly, asking what was wrong, and why I wanted out of school and why I wasn't willing to go to school anymore. Because everytime they asked me "how was your day at school" I would always reply positively "It was awesome we did this and this" or "It was amazing mom, thanks for asking", but then I had had enough, I couldn't live with it inside of me anymore, I broke down.. Then and there.

I stayed huddled up to my mom for about 3 hours talking about all that had happened, why I was tired of school, and what was going on. She said she had no clue why that was, because she would always say "Why don't you go and hang out with that kid.. you know.. Nicholas, he seems nice" when that kid, or him would be one of the major guys that picked on me, but was always the nicest perfect angel whenever your parents or an adult was around. And you just really didn't feel like being a "tattle tale" or a jerk for pointing out they were doing something or something else. And she realized after I told her what had happened, That I needed out, I wasn't going to make it. She had grounded me before because of my grades, and I told her that I had cared less about school for months now, I started even not caring about my own well-being, my health or anyone online. It was basically to the point I was a walking brick. I had no emotions for anyone, except for the ones that I kept private and in my mind, those being my online family, Lea Halalela. It was one of the most embarassing, and saddening moments of my entire life, I felt as if all my pride of being male, or whatever it was. was washed away then and their. I just didn't feel like the "big tough guy" My stepfather always thought I was. But sadly, I wasn't that to begin with, I never took action to those who picked upon me or anything. I'd just shrug and walk away acting like it didn't phase me a bit. But when in reality. It was killing me, breaking me down, and slowly eating away my life.

(Continued)

[Kovu The Lion]

And then, my mom told my step father about what was happening whilst I was curled up against my stuffed leopard, and they talked and talked for what seemed to be an enternity, until my mother told me about possibly going to a private school. Now bare in mind these things cost a fortune, and I was slightly worried that my parents might not have the money to send me to one, but thankfully, they did, I was considered lucky there as if you wanted to say that.. And then I agreed thoroughly, I'd do anything to get away from the kids that went to my school, because I was now walking the line, a line about as thin as a string, between life and death. My parents knew I'd tried suicide before, when everyone started to come to me online with all their problems and I was going through an emotional state of being (no not a period, i'm a guy -.-) I was just really down, and with trying to help others, it was not helping at all. And still thats not the point, they said they'd do anythign to help me out. Because to them now, it seemed they really wanted me to stay in my educational purposes, and become more than what I am now, but they told me "We have a really bad way of showing what we really think you are, and how much we really love you" and by this, I guess it proved how much they really did.. I don't know.. But we got the phone book and started calling numbers, and found a school. Its called Gramarscy or something like that.. I had my first real day of school today, it was totally different.. about 7 classes instead of 4 like I was used to.. And all the kids were extremely nice, the sad thing is.. Its a christian school and i'm not really the /greatest/ christian in the world, though I did find out you can be christian and gay/bi at the same time.. so I am, but the sad part is, I've already heard so much about people not really liking gay's at lunch and in class that its so saddening, I don't really know if I should let anyone know about my sexual preferences.. Because I don't want what happened back at my public school to happen here either.. I'm actually happy here, with kids my own age, that are nice, and friendly. Instead of having the two major groups "non popular" and "popular" kids, this school has 22 kids in my grade (10th) and everyone sticks together for one another. And its awesome to actually have people that care about you, rather than your own parents for once in a while.. Its just an amazing feeling, that I have never felt in a long..long.. time. And with that.. I guess thats all I can really say, thats why i've been gone for 3.. or 4 days now.. Thanks for reading.. Just wanted to give a heads up about what was going on with me.. Love ya guys.. Thanks again for reading *sighs and walks off*

~KTL

[lion_roog]

Glad you found a place that's cool and all, KTL. I hope things start turning around since you are in a more positive enviroment.

[Kiara]

Concerned ... I'm quite concerned right now and I've been so the latest six months or so, if not the whole year, but right now, I'm extremely concerned and I've been so the whole week ... and last week too ... And it's getting worser, 'cause I know Talli will be home today sometime from his trip, in some hours maybe, and it might only be hours left until he hates me ... >< And if he will, I'll die ... And if not, I'll kinda die too 'cause I just feel so embarrassed. But it's more bothering that he will hate me ... of course, I know he will ... I don't see any reason why not but ... I don't know, he might be understanding, and able to forgive me for whatever I've done, 'cause I just regret it so much, and it's so bothering thoughts I'm concerned over that as well ... And I'm so concerned about him founding my letter, and read it, and if you read this Tall, please forgive me ... I wish I never met you when I did, but right now when things were changed, but now the reality is like it is and it's nothing to do about it, but to try and fix it up ... And I'm doing so, okey ... ? And I've felt terrible the time you've been gone, when I wrote the letter, I was crying rivers. When I sent it, I felt a black hole grow inside me, though I know there was no escape any more by then unless I didn't blow the mailbox up. It took me days to get the courage to actually go down and post it. And the next days I felt terrible for your last mail, and how bothering your trip week would be, but now I read you had fun anyway, not thinking about what I had to say too much, but I guess you've been wondering about it sometimes ... I hope you weren't too concerned and could enjoy the time out there a lot, but I was really worried you wouldn't ... And the last three days I've been ill, I had a terrible stomachahce I couldn't move, really, and I spent all those days in my bed, thinking, watching your present, feeling how much more bothered and regretful I became every day ... I really feel terrible, trust me, and now the end is so near I can barely stand those last hours, 'cause I'm afraid of the future and how it will destroy everything >< I'm so stupid ... *hits head in wall* Oh ... well, if you really are reading this Tall, I hope you will talk with me again, and maybe let me explain some more, 'cause that letter couldn't tell you enough, but I guess I never will be able to explain everything completely to make this good again anyway, so I guess I shan't complain ... But if ... even if I'm scared of talking to you again ... Mm... maybe I should end this message here anyway ... No one probably understand what I mean, except Tall, but I'll let you know sometime, don't ask now, I've problems enough to deal with first ... And I just had to lighten up my heart a little and all I guess ... I don't know ... Thanks for me anyway, now I'll go and die a little more until I'll hear from BB again ...

*edit*
Just notice he had sent a PM before he left for a goodbye from me, but of course I didn't have a message I had got a PM, no, fine, now he probably think I didn't want to say goodbye to him too xX Stupid computer

[Azerane]

Oh my gosh, KTL, I can't believe it but that post made me cry. I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through, I can't imagine how hard it must be. But now that you've talked to your parents about it and you're at a private school I really do hope things go better for you. :hugs: It seems that they started out good so I hope they can only improve. As for telling them whether your gay/bi or not, hopefully it sholdn't matter to them, but you could get to know them a little better first before telling them, just so your more comfortable with telling them I guess. But ultimately, it's up to you. The small class sounds good, I had 20 people in my year 12 class and although we weren't all close friends, we all stuck together and supported each other, it was really cool. :hugs: to you KTL.

And Kiara, I'm not sure what it is what's happened, I'm assuming there's something you've done that Talli may not forgive? I hope you two can sort it out, whatever it may be. :)

[Talli]

Kiara I sent you a rarther possitive e-mail so you should fell way better.

[lionloversam]

Wow, KTL... I am glad it seems things are starting to improving. I know we don't know each other that well. But any way, I hope this new positive enviroment helps out. :hugs:

[Malicious]

Okay, so I just noticed that Boos' account on here is deleted. So I'm wanting to know what happened to the ol' chap? :thinks:

[Aurelian]

It's gonna get out anyway, so I might as well let it out. Boos and Nuka/Ravoc have both retired from GT. No one knows why Boos left, and Nuka's reasons are none of my or anybody elses business.

[unregistered user]

Hm.. I think I need a real job. This jobless staying at home killing me :/

[la_reina]

Well good luck with finding one :D It does suck to be stuck at home with nothing to do and your parents in your ear all the time. And the money is worth it all ;)

[Lion King Stu]

Ok I finally got around to actually thinking of what to post so I'm going to just go ahead and post this down here now. Today I recieved very bad news; I've learned something that has really gutted me and felt like I've been in the gut with a sledgehammer. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't cried because I have cried quite abit already.

Alot of people already know why I am so down and my screen name on MSN gives it away at the moment.

My close friend of six years and clan leader was killed at 11:38 last night in a car accident; I found this out at 3:00pm this afternoon and little details have been given out to me yet. I have no idea how bad it was; but since the medics couldn't do anything and died it had to be really bad.

Anyway for six years I've grown close to him and now hes gone I can't quite believe it; he seemed so invincible even I started to think it.

He was fighting out in Iraq pratically since the begining; hes been sent back twice due to injuries sustained out there. One for a broken leg being thrown from a 2-3 story window breaking his leg before going back to be captured and tortured. He lost a eye but somehow got out and came back again; he was going to be sent back to do basic stuff since losing his eye in about 2 weeks.
But unfortunatly that isn't going to happen no more after what happened last night. I feel sorry for his daughter and the rest of his family and friends plus those who ever had the honor to have this guy play for there online clans.

J Goddard a.k.a IceMan 1979-2006 ..Legends will forever live on....RIP Commander *salutes* you will be missed

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/stuartj/atoasttoice.jpg
I raise a beer to you dude
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/stuartj/atoast2.jpg
May you rest in peace.

[Aurelian]

OMG... I don't know what to say, Stu. that is absoulutly horrible. My condolences to tghe family. May he rest in peace. :tears:

[lion_roog]

Sorry to hear that, Dude. May he rest in peace.

[sanngi_kujieleza]

that`s so sad....May his soul rest in peace..........

[Sombolia]

Oh man, Stu, dude.. I'm so sorry.. may he rest in peace. I hope you're doing okay, LKS.



As for me.. er.. I dunno. I've had like, this horrible empty feeling. Homesickness, restlessness. Lethargy from time to time. It doesn't really make sense, I've been home this entire time, at home is the only place I even really feel it. I just.. yes. That is all.

[King Simba]

Aww, Stu. I already told you yesterday how sorry I was to hear that. I'm glad I helped you--even if it was just a little bit. :hugs: Losing a close friend can be hard, I can imagine and with you going through a lot at the present time, you have my sympathy. *hugs you tight*

RIP J.Goddard aka IceMan.

[unregistered user]

May he Rest In Peace

To many people passed away this year :\
Like one of my auntie and my PE Teacher :\
:(

[nathalie]

Oh my God, Stu ... I'm so sorry :(

:hugs:

[Azerane]

Our cat is very sick, she's 14 years old and her condition has deteriorated greatly over the past few days and she's just getting worse. There's not really much we can do for her, can't really afford to take her to the vet and we doubt they could do much anyway. My mum thinks she may have kidney failure but we're not really sure. She's still eating a little but she hasn't gone to the little kitties room, hehe, for a few days. She has lost a great deal of strength and energy and it's harder for her to breath, and we've noticed she's getting lumps under her skin where fluid is gathering, she's got a big one under her neck and her front paws are swollen from fluid as well as on her belly. I'm not sure how much longer she's going to last, though in some respects I just hope she dies sooner, because I can't stand to see her in the pain that she's in. Ultimately it's my brother's decision whether he takes her to the vet, as she's his cat, but he doesn't live with us so it's sort of not so organised. I'd just hate to lose another pet and it's going to be loney when she's gone, we have another cat, but she has a very different and reserved personality so you can't really cuddle her. It's hard to see our cat the way she is, though I'm just glad at the moment that she's able to get some sleep, we lit the fire today and she's keeping warm in front of it. Though it's only brief respite for her. I'm rambling now, but I'm just so worried about her, I know she won't live through this, it's just one of those things you can tell, but it hurts to see her the way she is, I can't have her on my lap either, it must hurt her because she only lays down on the floor now and I can only pet her lightly to try and relax her, though she hardly purrs anymore. Basically, to wrap all that up, thanks to anybody who read through it all, I'm just upset about it and I worry about her, the first thing I've done when I've gotten out of bed or come home over the past couple of days has been to check where she is and see how she's doing, and she's just getting worse.

[Dyani]

:hugs: *Hugglesquishes Azerane*

Its horrible to lose a pet like your cat like that. We lost our cat last year, but he didn't deteriorate like yours did. After an accident where he slipped and badly damaged his spine, so he couldn't use his back legs properly, he kept striving for almost a full year until he had to be put down. It was so sad.

I hope she either recovers soon or dies.. its better to go quickly than over a long period of time and all the time suffering. :( My thoughts are with you hunza.

[Azerane]

*hugs back*

Thanks Dyani. It was over a month ago that I posted that, and two days later, she was even worse, she could not properly, she couldn't even walk. And although she wanted to eat, she just couldn't. She deteriorated so quickly. We decided to take her to the vet, the vet said she had heart failure, so we put her down. That was the best thing we could do for her, and I'm glad we did it. I miss her, but it was far better to put her down, than to let her live and die in pain.

[Kovu The Lion]

I'm sorry I never got to post here in time for your Cat Azerane.. and to help you through your problem.. I'm so sorry.. I hope your cat can rest in peace.. and your family is doing alright.. I know the death of a cat, is just the same as losing a family member.. because i've experienced it.. especially when you've had that cat or animal all your life *hugs tight* =( I hope ya'll are doing fine...But I've my own problems... Again..

I don?t know really where to start, other than the feeling that I?m being overcome, and threatened every day. Each day I wake up now and It seems that if I open my eyes, then I will be shot at, it?s just annoying.. My parents have become what I would say as very over protective and over sensitive.. Used to I?d make a mistake say? Forget to put the toilet seat down and it?s fine.. Now I do that and it?s like World War III, I can?t believe how my parents have changed so much in just a short while, But what shocks me the most is my parents sudden dislike in each other, it?s like every time they see each other they are fighting, pushing, literally biting each other to get the other to stay down or get them away from each other.. I?ve now received a total of over fifteen slaps to the face, and a huge red mark on my arm from blood flow from being gone my stepfather grabbed me so hard.. It hurts to say this but I think my parents are going to separate soon.. And that may seem like an easy thing but it?s not in my way of seeing it.. My mother said she?d be willing to live with nothing at all and she would be the happiest person on the planet.. I on the other hand could do that but nothing.. is a lot to worry about? In my bank account I have a total of around $1303.92 last time I checked(ten hours ago) and my brother has around $402.30, My mom around $3023.42? That?s not a lot of money, and my mother being a drop out from college because of breast cancer and the birth of my brother and I, has left her with no degree?s but a High School Degree, and there aren?t many job?s out there that she can do, If It?s physical she can?t do it because of her Chemo Treatment and them having to take out almost all of the muscles in her stomach, so she can?t work like that.. The only option left to her is Wal-Mart, or like Mcdonald?s.. I already worked at McDonald?s before and it?s not a nice place to work at, You get burned easily (I have no fingerprints on my left hand for that reason) and people are annoying there? If something?s wrong, the customer?s complain, and oh my god they are always right.. *Sighs* and I myself work for my stepfather now having quit my job, if He leaves, I have no where to work, and I?d have to support my family(My brother and Mom) for us to even live, that means me dropping out of High School, and my future careers and plans fucked all to hell.

I?m seriously, cluelessly lost. My mom seems to see that the only option is leaving him, but if she leaves him, we have.. No House, No Money, No Car, No Food, Nothing.. He is the only way we HAVE what we have right now, and when he?s gone, so is our Life Insurance, and any Insurance we had, since we based it under his Military Discounts in Insurances and his companies .. Everything is also under his name, the cars, house, insurance, anything of importance to us is from him, and he owns it.. I can tell my mom lives a life of hell, and my brother and I CLEARLY hate and dispise my step-father, If he speaks, it always has a swear word in it, if he wants something he doesn?t ask it He demands it. If he does something wrong, and we point it out, We get beat, and cursed at. If we do something wrong, we are fucked and the world has ended and we are beat more. If we say something wrong we get grounded/beat/sweared at, or a combination of all three and its so annoying.. I?ve now been grounded twice this summer break (Since last Thursday) Because I either forgot to shut my door, Left my music on loud, Or the last time called my Step-father a dumbass. Which he clearly is seeing he stuck a fork in an outlet and electrocuted himself(which Is why I called him that) and another thing being because he NEVER finished high school. He works as a Carpenter, doing Trim in housing, and that was my job, We get a good amount of money a house, well he does anyways. And I?m payed around $8 an hour which is very good I think.. Better than McDonalds gave me, and another thing, without him we have like lol as I?ve said nothing :\...and this is where I?ll be seriously honest I can?t live without my friends online, and this Forumed Community, I?ve tried going without a week and have seriously broke down with not being able to talk to people, a few I?d like to point out being SimbaTheLion, Pntball248, and LunarCat most especially. These people are my life, and so are the rest of my friends, My life is Online, My life is this Computer, and my life is Virtual, and without it.. I have no Life. And if my Mom leaves, I have lost my life forever, she told me we would never be able to afford Internet, and anyways, I?d have to leave my laptop.. her plans is living in a homeless shelter until we can build up money or something, I don?t really know what she?s doing but I?ve told her to please stay and think about what she?s doing.. My mom?s very very reckless and has a very good judgement, but when she?s pissed off anything could happen and with that reason I?m scared she might make a mistake and screw herself over for a second time, and I?m just.. Worried because I don?t know if I could support my family(That of my brother and Mom) By myself from working at McDonalds or some join I could go in once I dropped out of High School, I?m seriously on the edge right now of Life and Death. I?ve found Death would bring me peace from all these worries, and I wouldn?t have to do anything or see anything that my Mom is thinking. But with death it brings misery to others and with that thought on my mind it scares, and worries me? I?m just.. so Lost it?s not funny

Right now, Im? sitting in a Holiday Inn, Typing this up in word document, because well Lea can?t keep loaded from this crappy internet and it flips back and forths.. If you don?t believe me, ask Nathalie to check the IP?s of my last posts, and this one.. I don?t know what I?m really going to do My Mom has left the house with my brother and I, and my step-father is at home and he has told my mom that when we come back to the house, nothing will be there, and he will not be there, and there will be no money in his bank account, or my mom?s which is really going to **** us over, he?s taking away EVERYTHING. I?ve called my stepdad about 5 times now and begged him to stay, pleading for forgiveness of mine, my brothers, and mom?s actions, and he?s done nothing but say ?I?m sorry, I just can?t? He tells me all the time ?I Love you, I just don?t know how to show it right?, and ?I love you, But I don?t love this Bullshit that this family gives me? When really?All we ever do is kiss his ***.. I wish this all would just end but I just don?t see it happening any time soon, I?ve told some friends about my problems and none have been able to give me a solution but ?Good luck? or ?it?ll be fine? and its NOT helping me a bit?I?ve been crying for the last 30 minutes as I type this up, throwing my feelings into words on a computer.. As I?ve no one else to tell this to offline?Most of you have noticed I act totally different on MSN than I do on Lea for the reason being, I AM a Dominant being, and I AM a Male, and I AM a Leader, I?m the Pack Wolf to some, People look up to me, and People depend on me..If I show weakness then I?m screwed because people will see me differently than what I am. In all honesty this all meaning, if I tell my parents(Who think I have a perfect life, and they see me as strong willed and loving) that I?m having problems with them, or tell them how I feel they will think I?m weak, Small.. And I can?t have that happen, I am a Overpassed upon my family, I make commands, people follow them(At Work not at home.. Parents ruling is first) People depend on me, so I do things.. I just don?t know what to do because of that, I?m not the submissive type when it comes online.. if people want something from me, they either ask nicely, or fight me for it. And I?m not to nice when I get into a fight as some have seen Online? I?ve been hiding myself, and these feelings from my friends and family online, until now that I?ve had to come out and tell this to people.. I find hiding it is almost nearly impossible now.. and not only am I going to be a bother amoung people, but I?m typing up something that is so freaking huge and people are reading it,..which is making me feel worse, and making me wonder if I should even post this.. *Sighs* I?m just so?Depressed, I don?t think anyone could honestly feel as bad as I do right now, but I?m sure someone out there in the world feels a lot worse than I do,

Right now I am like this far from breaking down

| ---- |

and usually I?m about | --------------------------------------------------------- |

(Continued)

[Kovu The Lion]

(continued...)

I?m just very unstable, right now.. One thing said wrong to me, just ?stupid? could set me off, and I?d never be able to come online ever again I know it sounds wack but that?s just the way I feel.. And.. Honestly I don?t care.. For the past few hours.. I?ve had one thought on my mind, and I don?t? even know if I should be telling you guys.. But I?m saying it.. People probably know.. ?What is going to happen to Lunar and I?.. Whatever I do.. Whatever I say.. Whenever I breathe.. Whenever I blink.. I have that thought and many other?s about her.. My life is honestly devoted to making her happy right now, and to make sure she?s happy, and that nothing goes wrong.. And more importantly? Being there when she needs me.. I honestly stay up to around 3 am every night, just incase she comes on and has a problem I will be there, and I am there 24/7 on this computer to make sure I can hold her if need be. Though this is the internet.. Words can reach across it.. not so much as Actions.. But I hope that will change, some how I hope I can be there, and give her whatever she dreamed of having when she was young, or right now.

and with all else aside, all this crap.. My life?s been fine I guess? Just normal.. I?m sorry for once again filling Lea with my mourning.. But I just had to get it out.. I?m sorry Lea, I love each and every one of you, Thank you so much for being one?s that I can call friends.. Thank you so so very much..

~KtL

[lion_roog]

Sorry to hear that, dude. If your parents divorce your Mom will be entitled to some of the possesions...usually half. Your step-father might have to pay child support...I'm not too sure since he is your step father. But he will have to split some of the wealth. It may not be enough to support you all, but it'll help. Sometimes you don't even need to be married...if you are living with a woman and you support her for a period of time, she may be entitled to a settlement in the case of a relationship ending.

I'm sorry to hear about your cat, Azerane...pets are family, too.

[sanngi_kujieleza]

Ktl, dude.. i don`t know what to say..it just seems so hard for you.. well if you anyone to talk to i can help.. *hugs..*

[la_reina]

I'd just like to ask all of you to pray for a young soul that departed this world today.

He was between the age of 14 and 15 and was the grandson of one of my mom's closest friends and one of my brother's friends.

It happened sometime today, or yesterday in Kuala Lampur, Malaysia I believe. He was there with a study group that traveled to the country annually.

He was up on a minaret (the tallest tower in a mosque) where he'd decided to take pictures. As he was climbing down a ladder, he slipped and fell headfirst and I'm guessing he died instantly.

Please pray for him everyone, in any way you can. He was a young, well mannered, and well educated boy.

May he rest in peace and may God protect his soul.

[Kovu The Lion]

my prayer's go out to the adolescent male, as does my families, I'm sorry to hear this La Reina *Hugs* If he was close to you, keep him in your heart, and his presense will never leave you

~KtL

[lion_roog]

Sorry to hear that, La Reina...my prayers go out to him.

[LunarCat]

may he rest in peace....

[Kovu The Lion]

keep this short and simple, lots dont care. Lots don't like to read so i'll just state it clearly:

Going through a lot of stress now, a lot on my mind, pretty much scaried of everything now, Dunno where my life's heading other than the other side of the battle field.

Kovu

[LunarCat]

I wish you the best in your stress relieving, and everything you're going through. You're extremely strong, I know you can do it. I'm here to listen if you want to talk.

[Utora]

I'm sorry to hear that Kove, and I reall wish I was there to be with you and help you through your troubles. I think of you everyday. ...Things can only get better Kove. ^^ &hearts;


As for myself..it's been prooven I'm skitzaphranic and bipolar. And other than having my past harassed, I'm gunna go. Where? I don't know. I just sit here every day. Death is a good friend sometimes. I might just sleep for a long time. I wish too much sleeping could kill you! XD

:lol:

but goodbye. Someday this madness may make sense comrades. ^^ But for now I go to a battlefield where only I can go, and no other.

Paka.

[Kovu The Lion]

Utora Don't do anything rash, all I can get from this post is that it seems you may leave Lea, or the internet, i'm not to sure but from your signature I guess you're leaving, Please talk to me before you go and do something off the wall or completely idiotic.

Thanks, I'll talk to you soon on e-mail or something,

Kovu

[Kiron Strife]

I kinda know what you meen. last november I was almost killed in my car twice in three days! first a deer jumped infront of me, then a log came through my windsheild and missed my head by inches! Here's a pic.
http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m124/KironStrife/Neardeath1.jpg

[Ciara]

omg, your car looks worse than what my car did after when the windows where broken ... However I wasn't in the car by then, and it wasn't really serious but anyway Oo

For KtL, I read all your long post, everything, and I really could see how your life is in front of my eyes, or at least in my mind, how your step father is doing all that to you, and how your mum feels like, and just everything, I'm so sorry to hear about it all *is shocked* ... I'm really speechless, what you wrote is like something that only happens in movies ... I wish I could do something for you, but I kinda know there's nothing ... but anyway, I've been having some of your problems myself, I know what you're speaking about, and well ... the only I can say and help you with, is probably that I'll listen if you wanna talk, but then I think yo have more closer friends to turn to so ... Still, I'll pray for your life to be better and that nothing will happen between you and Lunar now ...

[Daniel]

Originally posted by Kiron Strife
I kinda know what you meen. last november I was almost killed in my car twice in three days! first a deer jumped infront of me, then a log came through my windsheild and missed my head by inches! Here's a pic.
http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m124/KironStrife/Neardeath1.jpg

now that is some PROPER Final Destination 2 **** :D

[Azerane]

Has anyone talked to Sombolia recently? I'm just wondering if she's alright because I noticed she hasn't posted since late august... that was three months ago and she used to post regularly. I guess her life could be pretty busy at the moment but you never know.

[Stormfury]

'^Not really recently, but I've seen Sombolia pop in a time or another. She may be busy with coursework; may try and contact her though. Very thoughtful of you love...

= )

[2 Die FR]

I'm worried about my dad. A few weeks ago he had a routine blood test and it was found that his white blood cell count was four times above normal, and last Thursday we learned he has CLL-type leukemia. The average lifetime expectancy is 6 years, although some people live with it for decades and never show any symptoms. It has affected us all, but especially my mom. I feel so bad for her, because she has lost almost everyone on her side of the family, most recently her mom, and she doesn't know how she will make it without Dad.

I'm also worried about my sister's dog Champ. He is a sheltie, rambunctious and playful. Well, today I came home and found out from my mom that he was having seizures, and that she took him to the vet. My sister has been crying ever since it happened, and my dad just came over and said for me to spend some time with him if I want to, because the vet said he has a 25% chance of making it through the night.

[Stormfury]

Sorry to hear your dad has lymphocytic cancer, 2 Die FR. However, there are treatments and medicants to help out... . I hope that it doesn't progress any further.

Poor Champ, hopefully the lad will make it through the night.


-Sonique :hugs:

[Azerane]

Oh no.. that's awful 2 Die FR, I'm really sorry to hear that. I really hope your dad is one of the lucky ones. Also I'm sorry about Champ as well... I've seen a dog have seizures before... and it's so horrid to watch, it makes me feel ill... I hope he makes it through.

[Aurelian]

I haven't spoken to you in ages, buddy. I am so sorry to hear of your fathers cancer. My mother survived cancer last year, so I have faith in your father.

It's got to be unbearable to lose a dog at the same time. Think of it thisway, though: If your dad does die, maybe the dogs death was a way for your father to have a companion in the great beyond until you all join him. Good luck, 2DF.

[2 Die FR]

Wasn't sure if I'd ever hear from you again, Roq. =)

Actually, the outlook is much more positive today. Champ was taken a different vet today, and he was found to be a-ok. :) He is barking at the neighbors again, which means he must be back to normal ;) Apparently, the place he was taken to before, that said he had a 25% chance of living if we took him home - it seems that it was just a scam to cheat us out of money. They would have charged us $500 to $700 just to take a blood test, and $2,000 if they thought they needed to do surgery. We didn't even know if Champ really had anything wrong that would validate that kind of treatment, so our response was "thanks but no thanks." The vet today said he couldn't believe they actually told us that. Imagine - trying to cheat us out of that kind of money, if we thought it was in the best interest for our dog's sake! You can buy new dogs with that kind of money, I mean, I know that sounds cruel, but really...

And for my dad, he just went on a camping trip, ironically enough, so he's just fine too for the time being. His blood cell count will be monitored from time to time to make sure it doesn't fluctuate too much. It's too early to diagnose anything, because it might do more bad than good. So all we can do is wait. And pray.

[Aurelian]

Heh, in your place, I'd sue the first vet for blatant malpractice. people like that give all people who care for animals bad names.:evilgrin:

I'm so glad to hear that your father is doing well.

[lion_roog]

It's good to hear that things are going better, 2 Die FR...:cheese:

[Aurelian]

I'm going through a bit of a rough spot. One of the hardest things in the world is when you realize that you just don't know that guy/gal you've hung out with for years. One day, they do somthing that shocks the fur off of you, and makes you wish you didn't know them. :tears:

A group of my freinds, including my lifelong best freind, Josh,
were having our weekly poker game. If it weren't for other plans I
had, I would have been there to. I was lucky I wasn't. These games
always involve heavy drinking and pot smoking, that I don't partake
in. Normally, there is no problems, as none of these guys are violent
when intoxicated. This Saturday was different. From what I was told,
Josh's brother, Justin, was joking around, and through a pulled punch
at Josh's shoulder, like guys do. Then Josh, with no provocation, got
up and socked Justin in the jaw with a punch that would have made Scar wince. Justin suffered a severly fractured jaw, which will need
to be wired shut for at least a month, and Josh may be on his way to
jail with charges of "Assault while intoxicated", and they may all
get nailed with drug cahrges. What really scares me is that if I had gone to that game instead of my nephews birthday party, I may have been taken into custody myself for the drugs around me. No more drinking games for me.

You think you know a person, then you realize that you don't really know anybody though-and-through but yourself...

[This Land]

Really sorry to hear this man :(

This is awful, i really do thank god that you are ok.

Sorry to hear about your mates, i dont know what your opinioin on your mates are at the moment but for me, i hope they are ok. When you are drunk etc. you do things that you know yourself you wouldnt ever do, so i hope they will come out ok ^^

Talk to me on msn if you are feeling down man ^^. Landy is here :)

[Aurelian]

Actually, you reminded me that I forgot the worst part. I don't think the beer was what caused this. Even after he sobered up, Josh refused to apologize to Justin, saying (I apologize for the language, but this is a direct quote) "**** happens".

There is somthing more sinister involved here. Josh is always very serious and deep, not much of a joker or goofer. I think he suffers from manic-depression, but won't seek help. And his parent's intake of beer and drugs are just as bad as the kids,(The father is the head janitor in the local school system, and the mother is a district manager for CVS Corp., so can't really tell unless you know them well.) so he could never turn to them.

Yes, stuff happens. Like sothing accidently breaking, or sombody slipping and falling. However, caving sombodies face in is not stuff just happening. That is what happens when you have probelms you won't tell anybody about, wind up depressed, put WAY to much alcahole and drugs in your body, then blow up. It gets your loved ones hurt both physically, mentally, and emotionally. It get's you put behind bars. And it makes a lot of people lose trust in you.

[Kovu The Lion]

Originally posted by Roquivo
then you realize that you don't really know anybody though-and-through but yourself...

And sometimes you don't even know that because a person is a person, and with that person comes a personality, and those things can change so quickly,

I'm sorry to hear about your friends and hope they are okay, but I'm more so over glad that you chose to not go to that poker game thing, and better now knowing that you're probably not going to do it again :3 But stuff like that can really screw your life over big time, I'm glad to hear you never did any of that stuff either :(

I hope your friends are alright Roq, and I hope you start feeling a lot better,

Just try to keep a positive outlook on life, when you get down, Go outside, take a breath of air, and think about everythign you've ever done and how it affects the world, and take in the small things of life that may not seem so important, Like the dirt on the ground, the flowers, tree's, and insects, all play an important part of life that we don't really know about, and thinking about that makes me laugh a bit as if people knew more about em, so give it a try buddy, and remember,

A little you time is better than a lot of them time x)

Just a quote my mom used to tell me, meaning its better to stay by yourself sometimes than being with others because only you can work out your problems sometimes.. I guess..

But if you need anyone to talk to or anyone to chat, or need advice from, I'm here to hold your paw, offer a shoulder to cry on, and give leg or arm for ya buddy, I'll always be here for you Roq :) I hope you start feeling so much better buddy, because if anyone, You deserve it.

[lion_roog]

Sorry to hear about the incident with your friends, Roquivo. that's why I don't like to be around people when they drink too much. Pot makes people peaceful and mellow where as people can get violent when drunk. Anyways, I hope they can put this incident behind them and make amends.

[Aurelian]

Right, Josh finally broke down, and apologized. When he finally started to feel bad, he cried for hours. We think that his intoxication blacked out his memory of the exact moment, and without that, he didn't want to believe he was capable of such actions. Justin has had two operations, and his mouth is held together with wires as the bones heel. he is doing good.

No charges are being pressed against Josh, so I hope he realizes that he is being given a second chance, and is more careful about his alchole intake.


Pot makes people peaceful and mellow where as people can get violent when drunk.

I wouldn't know how Pot actually makes a person feel, as I've never tried it, however, I have never seen much of a personality change in those people who have smoked it around me. It just makes them cough a lot, which is one of the reasons I avoid it. I am a vocalist, and need my throat in working order.

[This Land]

IM concerned for Azerane, Kintaru and everybosy else who is in florida at the moment.

A Tornado struck through and 19 people have already been killed

I know the odds are large but i just cant stop thinking about Azzy and Kintaru and if they are ok :(

[LunarCat]

i agree i really hope everyone is alright :(

[Azerane]

Aww, thanks for your concern guys. But it's ok, both Pat and I and all his family are ok. We had a big storm but the tornados didn't hit in our area. Thankyou for your concern though :hugs:

[This Land]

*Is So Reliefed*=)

Im So Happy That all of you are Azzy
Counldnt stop thinking yesterday :emo:

*hugs tight* :hugs:

[Stormfury]

Originally posted by Azerane
Aww, thanks for your concern guys. But it's ok, both Pat and I and all his family are ok. We had a big storm but the tornados didn't hit in our area. Thankyou for your concern though :hugs:

The Southeast US and Coastal Gulf gets arounds of severe weather in the wintertime. It's a little colder this year (huge build-up in Central Canada - past tense); so it's suppressed a bit further to the coastal regions. Heads up, could be something similar early next week (see SPC).

Glad to see that Australian/Floridan resiliency. :hugs:

[2 Die FR]

Originally posted by 2 Die FR
I'm worried about my sister's dog Champ. He is a sheltie, rambunctious and playful. Well, today I came home and found out from my mom that he was having seizures, and that she took him to the vet. My sister has been crying ever since it happened, and my dad just came over and said for me to spend some time with him if I want to, because the vet said he has a 25% chance of making it through the night.

Now I'm really worried. He's having another seizure outside my window as I type this and it's his third one tonight and I just can't watch. We're giving him medication three times a day but it isn't working. If this continues, we will have to put him to sleep, or he will die from it. I feel so powerless.

[Aurelian]

Originally posted by 2 Die FR
Now I'm really worried. He's having another seizure outside my window as I type this and it's his third one tonight and I just can't watch. We're giving him medication three times a day but it isn't working. If this continues, we will have to put him to sleep, or he will die from it. I feel so powerless.

How old is he? Seisures in a dog is usually a precursor to death. It might be for the best to have him put down to stop the pain, espicially if he is old.

[2 Die FR]

I think he's around two years, I'm not sure, but Champy is definitely not old. We think it is caused, either in part or whole, because he's purebred. I can't say what our next course of action is. :(

[Aurelian]

Being purebread causing seizures? Isn't that like saying that a man is diabetic because he is Jewish or something? I don't think being a specific breed can cause illness. My grandmother has a purebred Sheltie who is in her teens, and still healthy.

[2 Die FR]

I'm not well-read on any of this; I'm just going by what I'm told.

[Sharifu]

Roquivo, I think 2 Die FR said that because purebred dogs usually have so much in-breeding, so they usually end up having health problems. (But I didn't say all, but I have heard this from many people)

I hope Champ will recover and be well, 2 Die FR. :hugs:

[Dare]

From what I understand, it's a widely-held belief that purebred dogs are more susceptible to genetic disorders...not to say this is actually true (as the AKC claims it isn't), but there are certain breeds that are more prone to certain disorders than other breeds are - I can't be certain, but I think the Sheltie is one of the breeds specifically noted for being prone to epilepsy...but I don't know if that's what your dog has. :\

At any rate, I send much love to the pooch. <3 <3 <3
*sends healing vibes*

[Guntur]

I'm gonna post this straight from my heart.

It's pretty sad that this place is getting darker and darker because lack of intresting thread and alot of misunderstanding between other members. I'm pretty concern about old members leaving and the new members didn't stay here for long though. And I'm afraid within next 2 year they gonna shut this place down :(.

Well I guess it's time to move on and start something fresh and new :).

[TX-101]

in 2 years you say? ah well. Not very long time to live if you are a forum.


You dont know what is worser...
...Or you put a deadline when you will go becouse you are losing your patience with some forum. or forum sets a deadline to crash becouse there are not things going by plans!

[imported_kiara]

some weeks ago just there was a highly raised activity here

[Guntur]

@TX - Let put it this way, i was registered during end of 2004 and I know what happen during those years *nods*

@Kiara - Used to, but *sigh* ......

[imported_kiara]

no rly .. its more activity now than before O_o

[Monai]

I have to agree with Kiara. For a while, there would be like 10 posts in one day, now it's like 50-60. It's nowhere near when you'd get about 500 a day (and that was average), but it's some form of recovery. =)

[TX-101]

Phoenix. You missnderstood my message. i corrected it a bit so others wont do the same mistake.

[Guntur]

^That's more like it :cheese:
By your post TX that's the main reason I ask nathalie to delete my old username and leave Lea.
I come back to lea because this place is somewhat.... special =)

Nahh.. i won't leave this place till something happen.

I got to agree with you two K and Monai :).

[Sadiki]

I been member sense October 2003 and I know the place gets active and inactive at the times, I don't really worry about the place shutting down and I wonder who are they as Mufasa told me 3 years ago that he has no interes in shutting down this place even if he doesn't come here and even if he does due the financial situation the server can be still kept on by donating, so I doubt this place going to shut down.. and what comes to older member leaving, people get on with their lives but I still dare to say there is still a lot old members around.

[nathalie]

I remember "having"' to read about 500 new posts almost every day when I checked back in the morning.

Things change, some people were young when they joined and have other things to do now.
People change.

[Guntur]

concerned of my self, i gotta go to the hospital now to have some 'minor' surgery.... ;)...wish and prayer are welcomed ;).

[Simbaspirit]

you are definately in my prayers and such, Fendi. take care

[lion_roog]

Originally posted by Fendi
concerned of my self, i gotta go to the hospital now to have some 'minor' surgery.... ;)...wish and prayer are welcomed ;).

My thoughts are with you, man...Don't let them take any of those essential organs...:D

[Safila]

Hope you get better soon Fendi and don't chase any nurses..

[Guntur]

Nurses? Actually I was quite embarrassed when they looking at my hairy @$S *blush*...
they try to put me to fall asleep but i'm too strong for the medicine :idiot:.. and now I feel drowsy

EDIT


The type of operation are colonoscope so there's nothing to worry about... except for my @$S >.>

[Dyani]

My dad has those every 2 years. He's managed fine and he's has his disease for 22 years. You may have something similar to him. He has to take about 30 tablets a day and needs good access to a toilet everyday. When I remember the name of the darn disease I'll tell you >.<

[imported_kiara]

im a bit concerned about the SAS flights .. <.<;;

they're uberclose to get into a strike (is that the name?) now and im travelling with em in 12 hours .. i hope nothing happens before then :gasp:

[Guntur]

Originally posted by Dyani
My dad has those every 2 years. He's managed fine and he's has his disease for 22 years. You may have something similar to him. He has to take about 30 tablets a day and needs good access to a toilet everyday. When I remember the name of the darn disease I'll tell you >.<

*shock*... Least the doctor don't tell the death date. My Doctor said I'm gonna die around 30 or 35.... :confused:

[Dyani]

Well he is 55 now so... Oo' Go figure :p

[Guntur]

Actually I have many things to worry about, there's lot of things in my mind currently. On saturday the doc said that I am physically fine but my mental aren't straight at the moment. Thanks to the doctor they try to seek psychiatrist to cure my mental problem. Right now the doctor said that I am nearly Anorexic because.... I still don't know what cause of my eating habits but I am completely depressed and stress over this situation, even though I'm not anorexic I lose my weight around 10 KG in two weeks, A lot worse than the last time I had this gastric problem. Every time I had a conversation with my dad my head easily explode and spark an argument. Over all I don't know what cause of this pain and this stress and all I know that I'm gonna seek help on this matter.